\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ge\u00e7en y\u0131l Rasim gitti, \u00e7ocukluk arkada\u015f\u0131m
mektubu gelir ara s\u0131ra:
‘K\u0131ymetli arkada\u015f\u0131m Halil
Sat\u0131rlar\u0131ma ba\u015flamadan \u00f6nce selam eder
her iki ellerinden s\u0131kar g\u00f6zlerinden \u00f6perim.
Halil g\u00f6ndermi\u015f oldu\u011fun en az senin
kadar k\u0131ymetli mektubunu ald\u0131m.
Bilemezsin ne kadar memun oldum
ben de seni biraz olsun memnun etmek
i\u00e7in bu \u00e7irkin sat\u0131rlar\u0131 yaz\u0131yorum’ <\/p>\n
Ne \u00e7irkin sat\u0131rlar\u0131
i\u00e7i hi\u00e7 yaz\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f bir mektuba bile hasretim ka\u00e7 y\u0131ld\u0131r <\/p>\n
‘Diyorsun ki ben de yaz\u0131ld\u0131m ve \u00f6n\u00fcmde 50-60 ki\u015fi var
ve buran\u0131n durumu hakk\u0131nda bilgi istiyorsun. Sana
k\u0131saca anlatay\u0131m. Elime \u015fahsen 700 ile 800 mark ge\u00e7er
Lojmanda oturuyorum. 80 mark kira. yeme\u011fimi kendim yap\u0131yorum. Fabrikaya gelince. Almanya’n\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck fabrikas\u0131. Ama en az para veren fabrika. Bazan f\u0131ska, bazan kal\u0131p\u00e7\u0131, bazan da \u00e7ubuk\u00e7uluk yap\u0131yorum.’ <\/p>\n
Ne f\u0131skac\u0131l\u0131k ne kal\u0131p\u00e7\u0131l\u0131k
elimden her \u015fey gelir yeter ki \u00e7al\u0131\u015faca\u011f\u0131m i\u015f olsun
‘\u015eunu belirtmek isterim. Kesilen 80 mark elime ge\u00e7en paran\u0131n i\u00e7inde de\u011fil. B\u00fct\u00fcn temennim senin Almanya’ya gelmen. Neresi olursa olsun. Burada adam\u0131 \u00e7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yorlar. Ayakkab\u0131y\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131pyata\u011fa giriyorum. Bir de nereye gidersen oraya uyacaks\u0131n. T\u00fcrkiye’de bay , burada herr. \u0130stemeyerek sat\u0131rlar\u0131ma son verirken tekrar selam eder, acele cevap beklerim.’ <\/p>\n
Sanki ben istemiyor muyum gelmeyi
\u00f6ylesine susam\u0131\u015f\u0131m ki al\u0131nterinin s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131na ka\u00e7 y\u0131ld\u0131r <\/p>\n
Ne kadere inand\u0131m \u015fimdiye kadar
ne k\u0131smetten medet umdum
ama biliyorum ki
‘vas\u0131fs\u0131z i\u015f\u00e7isin’ deyi silecekler k\u00fcnyemi
Almanya defterinden de <\/p>\n
Serinlik pusuda
ac\u0131yla kararm\u0131\u015f g\u00fcnlerimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum
ac\u0131yla ayd\u0131nlanacak g\u00fcnlerimi
gen\u00e7 k\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan beri \u00e7eyizi namerde yadigar anam\u0131
y\u00fcre\u011fimden kopan f\u0131rt\u0131nada yolunu yitirmi\u015f bir gemi
bacad\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kan duman\u0131ln\u0131 avu\u00e7lar\u0131ma b\u0131rakarak uzakla\u015f\u0131yor
bir k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bal\u0131k
(ne zaman denize baksam bir k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bal\u0131k olarak
g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum kendimi)
yosun ye\u015fili mendiliyle
siliyor a
aln\u0131ma
s\u0131vanm\u0131\u015f
karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 <\/p>\n
Serinlik pusuda
bir sis yuma\u011f\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r ge\u00e7iyor aln\u0131m\u0131n duldas\u0131ndan
gelece\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum
ge\u00e7mi\u015fimi
karanl\u0131k
da
eriyor
ayd\u0131nl\u0131k
da <\/p>\n
Pulu ac\u0131yla m\u00fch\u00fcrl\u00fc adresi sevdaya yaz\u0131l\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fimde
gurbetli\u011fimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum <\/p>\n
Serinlik pusuda
sevda da eriyor hicran da
sevincinin kayma\u011f\u0131 al\u0131nm\u0131\u015f, yapraklar\u0131na \u00e7i\u011f d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f y\u00fcre\u011fimde
kendimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum bir de: <\/p>\n
‘Dert yo\u011fuken serimde
derdimle karda\u015f oldum
d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm gurbet ellere
\u00e7ilemle yolda\u015f oldum <\/p>\n
Sevdal\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015famad\u0131m
mutlulu\u011fu tadamad\u0131m
hasretli\u011fe varamad\u0131m
gurbetle kanda\u015f oldum <\/p>\n
Karanl\u0131kta erimezdim
ayyd\u0131nl\u0131kta \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcmezdim
yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa yerinmezdim
ac\u0131yla karda\u015f oldum\u00e9 <\/p>\n
Sesine \u015fivan d\u00fc\u015fe hasret <\/p>\n
Ak\u015fam inmek \u00fczere. Nerede yatmal\u0131 bu gece. Hep g\u00fcnd\u00fcz olsa. K\u0131vr\u0131l\u0131r kal\u0131rs\u0131n bir park kanepesinde. \u00c7imenlerin \u00fczerinde. Al\u0131r gider bir a\u011fa\u00e7 g\u00f6lgesi, bir su sesi i\u00e7indeki kederi h\u00fczn\u00fc. Ama gece. Gece kime s\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131n. \u015eimdi k\u00f6yde olsam. Anam tand\u0131r\u0131 yakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Yorgana sar\u0131n\u0131r, tand\u0131r\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131na uzan\u0131rd\u0131m. Kemikli elleriyle sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Elimde bir d\u00fcr\u00fcm. Ye\u015fil so\u011fan, lor. Ne \u00e7ok \u00f6zlemi\u015fim anam\u0131n ekme\u011fini. Ak\u015fam inmek \u00fczere. Nere gitsem, nerde gecelesem. Her sokakta y\u00fczlerce otel. Her kentin bir oteli var. \u0130zmir Palas, Afyon Denizli Oteli. Edirne K\u0131rklareli Oteli. Trabzon Oteli. Otel Rize Palas. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131k Palas…… Ac\u0131 Oteli… Gurbet Palas… <\/p>\n
Dolan\u0131p durdum son vapur da demir alana kadar
kap\u0131 aral\u0131klar\u0131ndan bakt\u0131m s\u0131cakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n <\/p>\n
Sabah Sirkeci gar\u0131nda uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131mda
yeni bir g\u00fcn ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f g\u00fcne\u015f mavi yazmas\u0131n\u0131
ba\u011flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn boynuna<\/p>\n
Refik DURBA\u015e<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 Ge\u00e7en y\u0131l Rasim gitti, \u00e7ocukluk arkada\u015f\u0131m mektubu gelir ara s\u0131ra: ‘K\u0131ymetli arkada\u015f\u0131m Halil Sat\u0131rlar\u0131ma ba\u015flamadan \u00f6nce selam eder her iki ellerinden s\u0131kar g\u00f6zlerinden \u00f6perim. Halil g\u00f6ndermi\u015f oldu\u011fun en az senin kadar k\u0131ymetli mektubunu ald\u0131m. Bilemezsin ne kadar memun oldum ben de seni biraz olsun memnun etmek i\u00e7in bu \u00e7irkin sat\u0131rlar\u0131 yaz\u0131yorum’ Ne \u00e7irkin sat\u0131rlar\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[88],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1824","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-refik-durbas"},"yoast_head":"\n