{"id":4616,"date":"2010-06-10T10:24:12","date_gmt":"2010-06-10T07:24:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/06\/10\/soluksuz-kalincaya-dek-guldu-alacakaranlik-cevremizi-sarmisti-jacob-un-kuyusu-ivan-vyskocil\/"},"modified":"2010-06-10T10:24:12","modified_gmt":"2010-06-10T07:24:12","slug":"soluksuz-kalincaya-dek-guldu-alacakaranlik-cevremizi-sarmisti-jacob-un-kuyusu-ivan-vyskocil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2010\/06\/10\/soluksuz-kalincaya-dek-guldu-alacakaranlik-cevremizi-sarmisti-jacob-un-kuyusu-ivan-vyskocil\/","title":{"rendered":"Soluksuz kal\u0131ncaya dek g\u00fcld\u00fc. Alacakaranl\u0131k \u00e7evremizi sarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. | Jacob ‘un Kuyusu – Ivan Vyskocil"},"content":{"rendered":"

K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde hep bir arabam olsun isterdim. Yeti\u015fkinlerin arabas\u0131 olur, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm kendi kendime. Bir arabam oluncaya dek kendimi b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f saymayacakt\u0131m. Yirmi sekiz ya\u015f\u0131mda hala yeti\u015fkin bir insan de\u011filim diye \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordum. Yeterli kazan\u00e7 sa\u011flamayan bir do\u011fa \u015fiirleri derlemesi yay\u0131mlad\u0131m, iki tane film senaryosu yazd\u0131m; ve bir araba sat\u0131n alabildim. Ald\u0131m da n’oldu?<\/p>\n

Bir arabam oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in kendimi olgunla\u015fm\u0131\u015f say\u0131yordum. B\u00f6ylece kendi arabamla zamandan kazanacak herkes gibi tramvaylara as\u0131larak gitmek, itilip kak\u0131lmak zorunda kalmayacakt\u0131m. Arabamda kimse beni itip kakamazd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Arabam olunca, ans\u0131z\u0131n, okyanuslar kadar bo\u015f zaman\u0131m oldu\u011funu anlad\u0131m. \u015e\u00f6yle bir gezintiye \u00e7\u0131kay\u0131m, dedim, daha \u00f6nce dola\u015fmak i\u00e7in b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc alan, \u015fimdi ise iki saat i\u00e7inde gezebilece\u011fim yerlerde. Ger\u00e7ekten arabam olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlarda, orada burada oturur, her t\u00fcrl\u00fc insanla konu\u015fur yada \u00e7e\u015fitli \u015feyler g\u00f6rebilmek i\u00e7in, \u00f6tede beride dola\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. \u015eimdi arabam oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in her yere \u00e7abucak gidip geliyorum. Arabamdan dolay\u0131 kendimi \u00f6yle olgun duyuyorum ki! Her b\u00fcy\u00fck adam\u0131n, olgun insan\u0131n az zaman\u0131 vard\u0131r, benim de zaman\u0131m az oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, her yere arabamla gidip geliyorum; b\u00f6ylesi daha rahat ve \u00e7abuk oluyor. Art\u0131k b\u00fct\u00fcn vaktimi arabamla ge\u00e7iriyorum. \u0130stedi\u011fim zaman istedi\u011fim yere gidiyordum.<\/p>\n

Bu \u00abistedi\u011fim yer\u00bb bana \u00f6yle bir tuzak oldu ki! B\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn ak\u015fama dek araba s\u00fcr\u00fcyordum. \u00c7abucak ve ra56 Hanspulka yolundan g\u00f6t\u00fcreyim mi?<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallay\u0131p onaylad\u0131. 56 \u00bbHanspulka yoluna s\u00fcrat gidiyordum gidece\u011fim yere, ama, ger\u00e7ekte nerelere gidece\u011fimi de bilmiyordum. Arkada\u015flar\u0131m b\u00f6yle araba s\u00fcrmeyi b\u0131rakmam\u0131, i\u015fimin ba\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6nmemi sal\u0131k verdiler. Arabam da garaja koymal\u0131ym\u0131\u015f\u0131m. Fakat, b\u00f6yle yaparsam, gerekli yere y\u00fcr\u00fcyerek gitmek zorunda kalacakt\u0131m: y\u00fcr\u00fcmek hi\u00e7 i\u015fime gelmiyordu. Y\u00fcr\u00fcmekle hem \u00e7ok zaman yitirecek, hem de \u00f6tede beride her t\u00fcrl\u00fc insanla \u00e7ene \u00e7alacakt\u0131m. Vitrinleri seyretmek de cabas\u0131! D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm: Araban\u0131n garajda durmas\u0131n\u0131n yarar\u0131 neydi? Bir araba daima i\u015flemelidir. Eh, bensiz de kendi kendisine \u00e7al\u0131\u015famazd\u0131 ya!<\/p>\n

Arabay\u0131 garajdan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131m zaman, bir an duraklasam, hemen \u00abbir yere rahat\u00e7a ve \u00e7ar\u00e7abuk gidebilme d\u00fcrt\u00fcs\u00fc\u00bb taraf\u0131ndan zorlan\u0131rd\u0131m. En rahat yer, arabam\u0131n i\u00e7iydi do\u011frusu.<\/p>\n

Ama bu kez de sokakta dola\u015fanlara, tramvaylarda yolculuk edenlere imrendim. Taksi \u015fof\u00f6rlerine de. Direksiyon ba\u015f\u0131nda beklerlerdi, birisi arabaya binecek, \u015fof\u00f6re nereye gidece\u011fini s\u00f6yleyecek ve o belirli yere do\u011fru yola koyulacaklar. Ya\u015famlar\u0131 o denli yal\u0131nd\u0131 ki!<\/p>\n

Arabam\u0131 soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131m. B\u00fct\u00fcn kalbimle birisinin kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p, arabama binmesini diledim. Binsin ve 56 Hanspulka yoluna ya da 6 Santoska soka\u011f\u0131na gitmemizi istesin. Hemen s\u00fcrerdim arabay\u0131.<\/p>\n

Kap\u0131 \u00e7\u0131tlad\u0131, arabaya bir kad\u0131n bindi ve arka kanepeye oturdu.<\/p>\n

\u0130\u015fte! Motoru \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00abNereye?\u00bb diye istekle sordum.<\/p>\n

\u00abSiz s\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00bb dedi kad\u0131n.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 .<\/p>\n

\u00abS\u00fcreyim mi? Buradan ba\u015fka bir yer olmal\u0131 gidece\u011finiz… sizi g\u00f6t\u00fcrebilmem i\u00e7in, bana yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmal\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Bana yard\u0131mc\u0131 olamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi. E\u011fer arabay\u0131 s\u00fcrmeyi istemezsem, yine inebilirmi\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u00abHay\u0131r, hay\u0131r,\u00bb dedim, \u00abKal\u0131n oldu\u011funuz yerde.<\/p>\n

\u00abHay\u0131r\u00bb diye ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yine sallad\u0131. \u00abBuradan de\u011fil, buras\u0131 Hanspulka yolu. Devam edin.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abSizi, 6 Santoska soka\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcreyim mi?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abEvet, oraya g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcn isterseniz.<\/p>\n

6 Santoska yolunda yaln\u0131zca yava\u015flad\u0131m, arabay\u0131 s\u00fcrmeye devam ettim. E\u011flenmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00abNereye gidiyoruz?\u00bb diye sordu.<\/p>\n

\u00abHer halde \u015fimdi bulundu\u011fumuz yerden ba\u015fka bir yere, \u00f6yle de\u011fil mi?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abHay\u0131r, beni Vyspa soka\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcn.\u00bb<\/p>\n

4 Vyspa soka\u011f\u0131na sapt\u0131m. Bu, kad\u0131n\u0131n arabama bindi\u011fi ve gezimize, ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z sokaktan ba\u015fkas\u0131 de\u011fildi. Akasya \u00e7i\u00e7ekleri ile kapl\u0131 y\u00fcksek ta\u015f bir duvarla sona eren \u00e7\u0131kmaz bir sokak.<\/p>\n

Kad\u0131n arabadan indi. K\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 inceledi, sonunda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallayarak, bir \u015feyler yemek i\u00e7in beni evine \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Hafif lo\u015f, vazolar, heykeller, resimlerle bir \u00e7e\u015fit st\u00fcdyo olan \u00e7at\u0131 kat\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. Al\u00e7ak bir divan\u0131n \u00fczerine oturdum. \u00d6teye beriye at\u0131l\u0131 duran kitaplara g\u00f6z gezdirdim; y\u0131ld\u0131zlara, baz\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7eklere, Jizera vadisine ait kitaplar.<\/p>\n

Kad\u0131n \u00f6b\u00fcr odaya ge\u00e7ti. Geri d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, \u00fczerinde eli\u015fi simlerle ku\u015f desenleri i\u015fli \u00c7in usul\u00fc bir ev ceketi vard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Kahve ve bisk\u00fcvi getirdi. Sessizce kahvemizi yudumluyorduk. Bana bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00abGelece\u011fini biiiyordum, Jacob.\u00bb dedi.<\/p>\n

Kiminle konu\u015ftu\u011funu anlamak i\u00e7in \u00e7evreme bak\u0131nd\u0131m. Yaln\u0131zd\u0131k. Ben Jacob de\u011fildim, hi\u00e7 bir zaman da olmad\u0131m. Bu da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k dalgal\u0131 sa\u00e7l\u0131, benimle i\u00e7ten konu\u015fan kad\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131m\u0131yordum. S\u00f6yleyecek bir \u015fey d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemedim. Kahvemi yudumlamay\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/p>\n

\u00abSeni bekledim Jacob, hep bekledim. Her \u015feyi ba\u011f\u0131\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. K\u0131z lisesinde, ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zl\u0131k g\u00fcn\u00fc, \u0131hlamur a\u011fac\u0131 dikim t\u00f6reninde, giysilerimi \u00e7\u0131kartt\u0131\u011f\u0131m zaman, beni ‘nas\u0131l i\u011ffal ettin!\u00bb<\/p>\n

Ac\u0131mas\u0131zca bir susu\u015ftan sonra, k\u0131s\u0131k sesle \u00abMerak ediyorum,\u00bb dedi, \u00abIhlamurlar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc? Gidip bakt\u0131n m\u0131 onlara?\u00bb<\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sallad\u0131m. Hi\u00e7 bir \u0131hlamur a\u011fac\u0131 g\u00f6rmeye gitmemi\u015ftim. Penceremin \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u0131hlamurlar vard\u0131. Ama onlar\u0131 her zaman g\u00f6r\u00fcyordum. K\u0131z lisesinde \u0131hlamur dikilip dikilmedi\u011fini de an\u0131msayamad\u0131m. Onlar\u0131 kimin dikti\u011fi hakk\u0131nda da bir bilgim yoktu. Her halde belediye dikmi\u015ftir. \u0130sterse liseli k\u0131zlar dikmi\u015f olsun. Ben onlardan hi\u00e7 birini i\u011ffal etmedim!<\/p>\n

\u00abHi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015fmemi\u015fsin Jacob, gidip a\u011fa\u00e7lara bakmad\u0131n. Diyece\u011fini biliyorum: be\u015f y\u0131l sonra evlendin. Oysa bunu yapmak zorunda de\u011fildin, \u00f6yle aptals\u0131n ki! Neden senin i\u00e7in bir sivrisinek \u0131s\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 bile benden daha \u00f6nemli? Babusice deresini, beni kollar\u0131na al\u0131p nas\u0131l ge\u00e7irdi\u011fini an\u0131ms\u0131yor musun? Yeni tafta elbisemi giymi\u015ftim. Sense beni derenin ortas\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcvermi\u015ftin kollar\u0131ndan. Sonra da elini \u0131s\u0131ran sivrisine\u011fi \u00f6ld\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in beni b\u0131rakmak zorunda kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftin. Sivrisinek senden kurtulmu\u015ftu. \u0130yice \u0131slanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m. Biliyorum, tekrar tekrar \u00f6z\u00fcr diledin. Islanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, topall\u0131yordum, sen elini bana uzat\u0131rken g\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcn. Sen daima baya\u011f\u0131 bir insand\u0131n Jacob. Ama s\u0131cak kanl\u0131yd\u0131n. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z Lucy…\u00bb<\/p>\n

Aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131m.<\/p>\n

\u00abOtur Jacob, dinle. S\u0131k s\u0131k seninle b\u00f6yle oturur, havadan sudan konu\u015furduk, hatta senin yoklu\u011funda bile. K\u0131z\u0131m\u0131z Lucy…<\/p>\n

\u00ab\u00d6z\u00fcr dilerim Madam, ben Jacob de\u011filim!\u00bb<\/p>\n

Bana bakt\u0131 ve \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 yakt\u0131,<\/p>\n

\u00abJacob de\u011filsiniz, ne yaz\u0131k!\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abNeden yaz\u0131k olsun Madam, ben Joseph’im.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abYaz\u0131k, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc i\u00e7ti\u011finiz kahve Jacob i\u00e7in haz\u0131rlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.\u00bb .<\/p>\n

\u00abYa! o halde, Jacob’un kahvesini i\u00e7meden \u00f6nce s\u00f6ylemedi\u011fim i\u00e7in beni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abHay\u0131r, hay\u0131r, as\u0131l siz beni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n; i\u00e7ti\u011finiz kahve zehirliydi.\u00bb<\/p>\n

O anda v\u00fccudumu yava\u015f\u00e7a saran bir \u00fc\u015f\u00fcme duydum.<\/p>\n

Kollar\u0131m ve parmaklar\u0131m bana ait de\u011fildi sanki. G\u00f6zlerim kapan\u0131yor, yap\u0131\u015fkan bir karanl\u0131k beynime y\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle.<\/p>\n

\u00abZehirliyse… \u00f6yleyse… izin verin… Jacob’un… yerini… alay\u0131m…\u00bb dedim.<\/p>\n

\u0130rkildi ve aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131. \u00abHasta m\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?\u00bb dedi. Bu sorudaki duygusuzluk y\u0131kt\u0131 beni.<\/p>\n

\u00abEvet… hasta… zehir et… ki\u015fini… g\u00f6… g\u00f6steriyor…\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abNe zehiri, k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey mi yediniz?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abSiz… s\u00f6ylediniz., ya… kahve… zehirliydi..\u00bb<\/p>\n

Bir an ayakta m\u0131hland\u0131 kald\u0131. Sonra kahkaha ile g\u00fclmeye ba\u015flad\u0131,<\/p>\n

\u00abEvet, zehirliydi: \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fclerimle, gen\u00e7 k\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6fkesiyle. Benim b\u00fct\u00fcn…\u00bb<\/p>\n

Soluksuz kal\u0131ncaya dek g\u00fcld\u00fc. Alacakaranl\u0131k \u00e7evremizi sarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Kahkahalar aras\u0131nda kendimi odadan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 att\u0131m. Her yerde onun kahkahalar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

Arabama y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131rcas\u0131na atlad\u0131m, aya\u011f\u0131m\u0131 sonuna de\u011fin gaz pedal\u0131na dayad\u0131m.<\/p>\n

Karanl\u0131kla ve bir anl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131mla, soka\u011f\u0131n y\u00fcksek duvarla kapal\u0131 bir \u00e7\u0131kmaz oldu\u011funu tamamen unutmu\u015ftum.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde hep bir arabam olsun isterdim. Yeti\u015fkinlerin arabas\u0131 olur, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm kendi kendime. Bir arabam oluncaya dek kendimi b\u00fcy\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f saymayacakt\u0131m. Yirmi sekiz ya\u015f\u0131mda hala yeti\u015fkin bir insan de\u011filim diye \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordum. Yeterli kazan\u00e7 sa\u011flamayan bir do\u011fa \u015fiirleri derlemesi yay\u0131mlad\u0131m, iki tane film senaryosu yazd\u0131m; ve bir araba sat\u0131n alabildim. Ald\u0131m da n’oldu? Bir arabam oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[115],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4616","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-ceviri-oykuler"},"yoast_head":"\nSoluksuz kal\u0131ncaya dek g\u00fcld\u00fc. 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