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B\u00fcy\u00fck d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr-ozan Porphyre Eglantine \u00e7apra\u015f\u0131k ve derin anlaml\u0131 yaz\u0131lar\u0131yla geni\u015f bir \u00fcn yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ama, en \u00e7ok \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fcz \u015fiiri Chant du n\u00e9ant(Hi\u00e7li\u011fin T\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fc) ile tan\u0131n\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Koca bir \u00e7\u00f6lde
Sonsuz bir kum denizinde,
Ar\u0131yorum
Yitik yolu ar\u0131yorum
Bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yolu.
Bir orada, bir burada
B\u00fct\u00fcn y\u00f6nlerde ruhum
Bulam\u0131yor arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131.
Bu korkun\u00e7 bo\u015flukta
Bu sonsuz bo\u015flukta,
Her yan\u0131m kum
Alabildi\u011fine parlak, bo\u011fucu
Kumlar uzan\u0131yor \u00e7evren\u2019in sonuna de\u011fin
Sonra bir ses duyuyorum
Tatl\u0131, g\u00fcr ve kahredici
Diyor ki bana:
\u201cYitik bir ruh san\u0131yorsun kendini sen!
Bir ruh san\u0131yorsun kendini
Yan\u0131\u0131l\u0131yorsun. Bir ruh de\u011filsin ger\u00e7ekte
Yitmi\u015f de de\u011filsin
Bir hi\u00e7sin yaln\u0131zca
Yoksun sen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7i olduk\u00e7a \u00fcnl\u00fc bir \u015fiir bu Chant du n\u00e9ant, ama nas\u0131l bir ortam i\u00e7inde yarat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m, ne gibi olaylara yol a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131m bilen azd\u0131r san\u0131r\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Porphyre \u00e7ocuklu\u011fundan beri duyguluydu; olmad\u0131k \u015feyleri dert edinirdi kendine. Varolmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 korkusu sarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 y\u00fcre\u011fini. Aynaya her bak\u0131\u015f\u0131nda \u0130mgesini g\u00f6rememekten korkard\u0131. Bu korkusunu da\u011f\u0131tmak amac\u0131yla bir felsefe yaratt\u0131 sonunda\u2026 Genellikle ku\u015fkular\u0131n\u0131 bir yana itebiliyordu b\u00f6ylece; ama Hi\u00e7li\u011fin T\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fc\u2019ndeki o birden her \u015feyi y\u0131kan g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fc ozan\u0131n bu konudaki ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6steriyor bize. Porphyre bu u\u011fursuz sesi susturmak i\u00e7in her ne pahas\u0131na olursa olsun varolmaya karar verdi.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u00e7 g\u00f6zlem ve d\u0131\u015f g\u00f6zlem ona hi\u00e7 bir \u015feyin ac\u0131 kadar ger\u00e7ek olamayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretmi\u015fti; varolmas\u0131 i\u00e7in ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmesi gerekiyordu. Porphyre b\u00fcy\u00fck ac\u0131lar bulmak umuduyla yollara d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. G\u00fcney Kutbunda tek ba\u015f\u0131na bir k\u0131\u015f ge\u00e7irdi. Sonu gelmeyen gece ona gelece\u011fin karanl\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fclerini esinledi.<\/p>\n
Nazi Almanyas\u0131nda kendini Yahudi diye tan\u0131tarak t\u00fcrl\u00fc i\u015fkencelere katland\u0131. Ama tam bu i\u015fkenceler dayan\u0131lmaz bir hal alm\u0131\u015fken toplama kamp\u0131na Poe\u2019nun kuzgunu geldi s\u0131\u00e7raya s\u0131\u00e7raya, Mallarme\u2019nin sesiyle o korkun\u00e7 tekerlemeyi hayk\u0131rd\u0131: \u201cAc\u0131 \u00e7ekmiyorsun sen; Bir hi\u00e7sin yaln\u0131zca; Sen yoksun!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sonra Rusya\u2019ya gitti Porphyre. Orada da Wall Street\u2019den (New York bankalar\u0131n\u0131n merkezi olan sokak) yollanm\u0131\u015f bir gizci (casus) s\u00fcs\u00fc verdi kendine. Bu y\u00fczden bir k\u0131\u015f\u0131 da Beyaz Deniz k\u0131y\u0131lannda a\u011fa\u00e7 kesmekle ge\u00e7irdi. A\u00e7l\u0131k, yorgunluk, so\u011fuk her g\u00fcn biraz daha iliklerine i\u015fledi. Eh, bu gidi\u015fle bir g\u00fcn varolurum elbet, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordu kendi kendine. Ama hay\u0131r! K\u0131\u015f\u0131n son g\u00fcn\u00fcnde, karlar tam erimeye y\u00fcz tutmu\u015ftu ki u\u011fursuz ku\u015f bir kez daha g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc, bir kez daha hayk\u0131rd\u0131 o korkun\u00e7 s\u00f6zleri.<\/p>\n
Belki de, diyordu Porphyre, aray\u0131p buldu\u011fum bu ac\u0131lar sudan \u015feylerdi. Ger\u00e7ek mutsuzlu\u011fu duymam i\u00e7in ac\u0131lar\u0131ma bir de utan\u00e7 katmal\u0131y\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Bu yeni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesini ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmek amac\u0131yla kalk\u0131p \u00c7in\u2019 e gitti. Orada Kom\u00fcnist Partisinin g\u00f6zde \u00fcyelerinden g\u00fczel bir \u00c7inli k\u0131za deli gibi tutuldu. Sonra sahte belgeler d\u00fczerek onu \u0130ngiliz H\u00fck\u00fcmetine gizli ajanl\u0131k yapmakla su\u00e7lad\u0131. Korkun\u00e7 i\u015fkencelerle g\u00f6zleri \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcler k\u0131zca\u011f\u0131z\u0131. O zaman \u201c\u015eimdi ger\u00e7ekten ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmi\u015f say\u0131l\u0131r\u0131m,\u201ddiye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc ozan, \u201cSonuna de\u011fin \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca sevmi\u015ftim bu k\u0131z\u0131; kendi korkakl\u0131\u011f\u0131m kendi al\u00e7akl\u0131\u011f\u0131mla bu korkun\u00e7 sona s\u00fcr\u00fckledim onu. \u0130nsano\u011flunun dayanabilece\u011fi ac\u0131lar\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bu olsa gerek.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ama hay\u0131r! Elini kolunu ba\u011flayan buz gibi bir korkuyla donakald\u0131 Porphyre. Kader Ku\u015fu yine gelmi\u015f, kendisini Paris edebiyat \u00e7evrelerine tan\u0131tan \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fcz ozan\u0131n sesiyle yine o korkun\u00e7 s\u00f6zleri hayk\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ku\u015f u\u00e7up gitmeden Porphyre b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc toplayarak y\u00fcre\u011findeki umutsuzlu\u011fu dile getirdi. \u201cEy Kuzgun,\u201ddiye hayk\u0131rd\u0131, \u201cs\u00f6yle bana, varoldu\u011fuma seni inand\u0131rmak i\u00e7in ne yapay\u0131m?\u201dKuzgun bir tek s\u00f6zc\u00fckle kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verdi buna: \u201cAra\u201d , sonra da yokoldu ortadan.<\/p>\n
B\u00f6ylece yeniden aramaya koyurdu Porphyre. Ama bu aray\u0131\u015f\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc kapsad\u0131 sanmay\u0131n. Bu s\u00fcre boyunca yine bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr-ozan olarak her yerde, \u00f6zellikle gizli \u00e7evrelerde hayranl\u0131k toplad\u0131. \u00c7in\u2019den d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnde \u015feref \u00fcyesi olarak Paris\u2019teki Felsefe Kurultay\u0131na \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131. Toplant\u0131 g\u00fcn\u00fc herkes salonda yerini alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131; yaln\u0131z ba\u015fkan yoktu ortada. Porphyre tam sab\u0131rs\u0131zlanmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ki birden Kuzgun girdi i\u00e7eri ge\u00e7ip ba\u015fkan yerine oturdu.<\/p>\n
Sonra ozana d\u00f6nerek b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00fcyelerin duyabilece\u011fi \u00e7\u0131nl\u0131yan bir sesle, \u201cSenin felsefen yok asl\u0131nda; senin felsefen bir hi\u00e7!\u201d diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Bu s\u00f6zleri duyan Porphyre\u2019in y\u00fcre\u011fini en ac\u0131 ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n bile veremedi\u011fi derin bir umutsuzluk kaplad\u0131. Y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131verdi oldu\u011fu yere.<\/p>\n
Kendine geldi\u011finde ku\u015fun a\u011fz\u0131ndan ne zamand\u0131r \u00f6zlemini \u00e7ekti\u011fi s\u00f6zlerin d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc duydu: \u201cYeter art\u0131k, ac\u0131 \u00e7ekiyorsun; Yeter, vars\u0131n.\u201d<\/p>\n
O s\u0131rada g\u00f6zlerini a\u00e7t\u0131 Porphyre. Rahat bir soluk ald\u0131; g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bir d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc yaln\u0131zca.<\/p>\n
Ama o g\u00fcn bug\u00fcnd\u00fcr felsefe \u00fcst\u00fcne ne bir s\u00f6z s\u00f6yledi ne de bir \u015fey yazd\u0131.<\/p>\n
Varolu\u015f\u00e7unun Bunal\u0131m\u0131 | Bertrand Russel<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
B\u00fcy\u00fck d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr-ozan Porphyre Eglantine \u00e7apra\u015f\u0131k ve derin anlaml\u0131 yaz\u0131lar\u0131yla geni\u015f bir \u00fcn yapm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ama, en \u00e7ok \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fcz \u015fiiri Chant du n\u00e9ant(Hi\u00e7li\u011fin T\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fc) ile tan\u0131n\u0131r. Koca bir \u00e7\u00f6lde Sonsuz bir kum denizinde, Ar\u0131yorum Yitik yolu ar\u0131yorum Bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m yolu. Bir orada, bir burada B\u00fct\u00fcn y\u00f6nlerde ruhum Bulam\u0131yor arad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131. Bu korkun\u00e7 bo\u015flukta Bu sonsuz bo\u015flukta, Her yan\u0131m kum […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[103],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4738","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-felsefe-genel"},"yoast_head":"\n