{"id":4775,"date":"2010-11-08T11:10:11","date_gmt":"2010-11-08T08:10:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/11\/08\/hayatla-aramda-ince-bir-cam-var-acikca-gormeme-ve-anlamama-ragmen-dokunamiyorum-hayata-fpessoa\/"},"modified":"2010-11-08T11:10:11","modified_gmt":"2010-11-08T08:10:11","slug":"hayatla-aramda-ince-bir-cam-var-acikca-gormeme-ve-anlamama-ragmen-dokunamiyorum-hayata-fpessoa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2010\/11\/08\/hayatla-aramda-ince-bir-cam-var-acikca-gormeme-ve-anlamama-ragmen-dokunamiyorum-hayata-fpessoa\/","title":{"rendered":"Hayatla aramda ince bir cam var. A\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6rmeme ve anlamama ra\u011fmen, dokunam\u0131yorum hayata | F.Pessoa"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015fmeyen, her an\u0131 ayn\u0131 yo\u011funlukta akan bir hayatta, i\u00e7ine g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fc oldu\u011fum durgunlu\u011fu bir temizlik kusuru, de\u011fi\u015fmezli\u011fin y\u00fczeyine yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir kir ya da toz olarak de\u011ferlendirebilirim ancak.<\/p>\n

Bedenimizi nas\u0131l y\u0131k\u0131yorsak, yazg\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da y\u0131kayabilmeli, \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r de\u011fi\u015ftirir gibi hayat de\u011fi\u015ftirebilmeliydik-yemek yedi\u011fimizde ya da uyudu\u011fumuzda oldu\u011fu gibi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil, tam olarak temizlik ad\u0131 verilen, bizden do\u011fup ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f olan sayg\u0131l\u0131 davran\u0131\u015f bunu gerektirdi\u011fi i\u00e7in.<\/p>\n

Pisli\u011fi bir irade sorunu gibi de\u011fil, akl\u0131n bir umursamazl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olarak ya\u015fayan insanlar vard\u0131r; \u00e7o\u011fu insan ise, \u00f6zg\u00fcrce ald\u0131klar\u0131 bir kararla ya da istemedikleri bir d\u00fcnyaya boyun e\u011fmeye raz\u0131 olduklar\u0131 i\u00e7in de\u011fil, kendi kendilerini anlama yetenekleri geriledi\u011fi i\u00e7in, bilgiyle alay etmeyi \u00f6\u011frendikleri i\u00e7in tekd\u00fcze, silik hayatlar s\u00fcrerler.<\/p>\n

Kendi pisli\u011finden i\u011frenen ama o pisli\u011fi temizlemeyen domuzlar vard\u0131r; deh\u015fete kap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f insan\u0131n ka\u00e7mamas\u0131na neden olan da i\u015fte bu duygunun a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 halidir. Yazg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n domuza \u00e7evirdi\u011fi, kendi g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00e7ekimine kap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, bundan dolay\u0131 g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131radanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan kurtulmayan insanlar vard\u0131r, benim gibi. Olmayan y\u0131landan b\u00fcy\u00fclenen ku\u015flard\u0131r onlar; d\u00fcnyay\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6rmeden bir a\u011fa\u00e7 g\u00f6vdesine tutunup bekleyen, en sonunda bukelamunun i\u011fren\u00e7 diline yap\u0131\u015fan sinekler.<\/p>\n

Ben de bilin\u00e7li bilin\u00e7sizli\u011fimi, s\u0131radan hayat a\u011fac\u0131m\u0131n g\u00f6vdesinde a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r gezdiriyorum. Yazg\u0131m\u0131 yerinden oynatt\u0131k\u00e7a y\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f oluyorum, ben ilerlemedi\u011fime g\u00f6re, ilerleyen o;\u00a0 ad\u0131m ad\u0131m gitmeye devam eden zaman\u0131m i\u00e7in de durum ayn\u0131; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ilerleyen gene ben de\u011filim. Tekd\u00fczelikten kurtulmak i\u00e7in tek \u00e7arem, hakk\u0131nda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu k\u0131sa yorumlar. Tek avuntum, h\u00fccremin parmakl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131nda bir cam olmas\u0131-her g\u00fcn, \u00f6l\u00fcmle hesapla\u015ft\u0131ktan sonra, cama, ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmazl\u0131\u011f\u0131n tozuna ad\u0131m\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck harflerle yazarak imzam\u0131 at\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n

\u00d6l\u00fcmle mi at\u0131yorum imzam\u0131 ? Hay\u0131r, \u00f6l\u00fcmle bile de\u011fil. Benim gibi ya\u015fayan bir insan \u00f6lmez: Biter, solar, bitkisel hayata girer. Bulundu\u011funuz yer varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sizsiz s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcr, ge\u00e7ti\u011finiz sokak g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez oldu\u011funuz halde ya\u015far, i\u00e7inde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z ev, siz olmayan sizi bar\u0131nd\u0131r\u0131r. Hepsi budur ve biz buna hi\u00e7lik deriz, ama bu hi\u00e7lik tragedyas\u0131n\u0131 bile oynayamaz, alk\u0131\u015flayamay\u0131z, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ger\u00e7ekten hi\u00e7 oldu\u011funa bile emin olamay\u0131z; biz ki hem hayat\u0131n, hem de ger\u00e7e\u011fin i\u00e7inde biten otlar\u0131z, biz ki camlar\u0131n hem i\u00e7ine hem d\u0131\u015f\u0131na biriken tozlar\u0131z, biz ki Yazg\u0131\u2019n\u0131n torunlar\u0131, Tanr\u0131\u2019n\u0131n evlatlar\u0131y\u0131z, Tanr\u0131 sonsuz Gece\u2019yle evlidir ve o da hepimizi do\u011furmu\u015f olan Kaos\u2019un duludur.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Ba\u015fka bir erdemim yoksa da, hi\u00e7 olmazsa \u00f6zg\u00fcr b\u0131rak\u0131lan duygular\u0131n getirdi\u011fi s\u00fcrekli yenilenme hali var.<\/p>\n

Bug\u00fcn Rua Nova do Almada\u2019dan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 iniyordum ki g\u00f6z\u00fcm birden, tam \u00f6n\u00fcmde y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bir adam\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131na tak\u0131ld\u0131. Herhangi bir insan\u0131n s\u0131radan s\u0131rt\u0131yd\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm; sokaktan ge\u00e7en birinin rasgele g\u00f6z\u00fcme tak\u0131lan g\u00f6steri\u015fsiz tak\u0131m elbisesinin ceketi. Sol kolunun alt\u0131na eski bir \u00e7anta s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131, sa\u011f eliyle k\u0131vr\u0131k sap\u0131ndan kavrad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kapal\u0131 bir \u015femsiyeyi de, y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn temposuna g\u00f6re yere vuruyordu.<\/p>\n

Birden, o adama kar\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7imde sevgiye benzer bir \u015feyler uyand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissettim, insanlar\u0131n ortak \u00f6zelli\u011fi olan niteliksizli\u011fin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, i\u015fine giden bir aile reisinin s\u0131radan g\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fam\u0131, iddias\u0131z ve ne\u015feli yuvas\u0131, ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz olarak hem ne\u015feli, hem h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc zevkleri bar\u0131nd\u0131ran hayat\u0131, hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin nedenini merak etmeksizin saf\u00e7a ya\u015fay\u0131p gitmesi kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, k\u0131sacas\u0131, \u00f6n\u00fcmde duran bu giydirilmi\u015f s\u0131rt\u0131n tamamen hayvani do\u011fas\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda do\u011fmu\u015ftu bu duygu.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc adam\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131na, aral\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan i\u00e7eri g\u00f6z atarak, yar\u0131m yamalak da olsa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerini se\u00e7ebildi\u011fim o pencereye diktim.<\/p>\n

Uyuyan bir adam\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ne hissedilirse, bende onu uyand\u0131r\u0131yordu. Uyuyan herkes \u00e7ocuklu\u011funa d\u00f6ner. Belki de bu y\u00fczden, yani uyurken ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bilincinde olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in, kimseye k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck de yapamay\u0131z \u2013 en g\u00f6z\u00fc d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f cani, kendinden ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fc g\u00f6rmeyen en bencil insan bile, ne olursa olsun uyudu\u011fu s\u00fcrece do\u011fan\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fcs\u00fcyle\u00a0 kutsal bir varl\u0131\u011fa d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Uyuyan bir insan\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrmekle bir \u00e7ocu\u011fu \u00f6ld\u00fcrmek aras\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fck bir fark g\u00f6rm\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n

Bu adam\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131 da uyuyor i\u015fte. Benimle ayn\u0131 h\u0131zda, \u00f6n\u00fcmden y\u00fcr\u00fcyen bu insan t\u00fcm varl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla uykuya dalm\u0131\u015f. Bilin\u00e7sizce y\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Uyuyor, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hepimiz uyuyoruz. Hayat b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr. O da bilin\u00e7siz halde ya\u015f\u0131yor. Ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ne istedi\u011fini, ne bildi\u011fini kimse bilmiyor. Yazg\u0131\u2019n\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fcmeyen \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 olarak, hayat\u0131 uyuyoruz. \u0130\u015fte bu y\u00fczden, bu duyguyla d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde, \u00e7ocuksu insanl\u0131\u011fa, uyuyup kalm\u0131\u015f toplumsal ya\u015fama, hepimize ve her \u015feye kar\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7imde sonsuz, \u015fekilsiz bir sevgi uyan\u0131yor.<\/p>\n

\u015eu an i\u00e7imi saran, sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 ve ama\u00e7lar\u0131 olmayan, \u00e7\u0131plak bir insan sevgisi. Ac\u0131l\u0131 bir \u015fevkat duyuyorum, bizi seyreden bir Tanr\u0131\u2019n\u0131n duyaca\u011f\u0131 cinsten. \u0130nsan denen \u015fu zavall\u0131lara, insanl\u0131k denen \u015fu zavall\u0131, tuhaf yarat\u0131\u011fa yegane bilin\u00e7li varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015fevkatiyle bak\u0131yorum. Ne yap\u0131yor bu kadar insan ?<\/p>\n

Ci\u011ferlerdeki basit nefesten ba\u015flay\u0131p \u015fehirlerin kurulmas\u0131na, imparatorluklar\u0131n s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 surlarla \u00e7evirmesine dek hayata dahil olan t\u00fcm ko\u015fturmacay\u0131, t\u00fcm niyetleri, bir ger\u00e7eklikle ba\u015fka bir ger\u00e7eklik aras\u0131nda, Mutlakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir g\u00fcn\u00fc ile bir ba\u015fka g\u00fcn\u00fc aras\u0131nda varolan, kendinden menkul bir uyuklama hali, d\u00fc\u015fe ya da uykuya benzeyen \u015feyler olarak tahayy\u00fcl ediyorum. Ve soyut bir ana\u00e7 varl\u0131k olarak, o uykunun i\u00e7inde toplanarak bana ait olmu\u015f \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n \u00fczerine e\u011filiyorum geceleyin; iyi, k\u00f6t\u00fc ay\u0131rt etmeden. \u0130\u00e7im s\u0131zl\u0131yor, sonsuz bir varl\u0131k gibi b\u00fcy\u00fcyorum.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00f6n\u00fcmdekinden ay\u0131r\u0131p oradan, o sokaktan ge\u00e7mekte olan herkesin \u00fczerinde dola\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor, hepsini, pe\u015finden gitti\u011fim o bilin\u00e7siz insan\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131n bana verdi\u011fi so\u011fuk ve sa\u00e7ma sevgiyle, s\u0131k\u0131ca kucakl\u0131yorum. Hepsi ayn\u0131 bunlar\u0131n; at\u00f6lye\u2018den s\u00f6z eden gen\u00e7 k\u0131zlar, i\u015fyerleriyle alay eden delikanl\u0131lar, ellerinde sepetlerle al\u0131\u015fveri\u015ften d\u00f6nen iri memeli hizmet\u00e7i kad\u0131nlar, b\u0131y\u0131\u011f\u0131 hen\u00fcz terlemi\u015f, getir-g\u00f6t\u00fcr i\u015fleri yapan \u00e7ocuklar \u2013 hepsi ayn\u0131 bilin\u00e7sizli\u011fin farkl\u0131 beden ve y\u00fczlerdeki tezah\u00fcrleri, ayn\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n elinde toplanm\u0131\u015f iplerle hareket eden kuklalardan farklar\u0131 yok. Bilince i\u015faret eden b\u00fct\u00fcn tav\u0131rlar\u0131 sergiliyorlar, ama hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin bilincinde de\u011filler, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bir bilince sahip olduklar\u0131n\u0131n fark\u0131nda de\u011filler. Kimileri ak\u0131ll\u0131, kimileri aptal \u2013 asl\u0131nda hepsinde ayn\u0131 aptall\u0131k. Kimileri daha ya\u015fl\u0131, kimileri daha gen\u00e7 – asl\u0131nda hepsi ayn\u0131 ya\u015fta. Kimileri erkek, kimileri kad\u0131n \u2013 asl\u0131nda hepsinin cinsiyeti ayn\u0131; varolmayan bir cinsiyet bu.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

Huzursuzlu\u011fun Kitab\u0131<\/p>\n

Huzursuzlu\u011fun Kitab\u0131 ; \u00c7evirmenin \u00d6ns\u00f6z\u00fc <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cVarolan tek s\u0131r, bir s\u0131r oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnen insanlar\u0131n olmas\u0131d\u0131r.\u201d Demi\u015fti Alvaro de Campos ya da ard\u0131nda saklanan Pessoa, \u201cS\u00fcr\u00fclerin Bek\u00e7isi\u201dnde. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden epey sonra, yirminci y\u00fczy\u0131l\u0131n ortalar\u0131nda ke\u015ffedilen Pessoa\u2019 y\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken, \u00f6zellikle etraf\u0131n\u0131 saran efsane halesini a\u015fmak zorla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bu s\u00f6z\u00fc hat\u0131rlamak, onun ger\u00e7ek \u00f6z\u00fcne yakla\u015fmak i\u00e7in yararl\u0131 olabilir. Bug\u00fcn d\u00fcnya edebiyat\u0131n\u0131n en \u00f6nemli yazarlar\u0131ndan say\u0131lan Fernando Antonio Nogueira Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n ya\u015fam\u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fc, Octavio Paz\u2019 \u0131n \u201c\u015eairlerin ya\u015fam\u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fc yoktur; onlar\u0131n ya\u015fam\u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fc yap\u0131tlar\u0131d\u0131r\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc do\u011frularcas\u0131na birka\u00e7 c\u00fcmle ile \u00f6zetlenebilecek kadar yal\u0131n ve durgun: 1888\u2019 de Lizbon\u2019 da do\u011fdu. Babas\u0131 o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken \u00f6ld\u00fc. \u00dcvey babas\u0131 Portekiz’ in G\u00fcney Afrika konsolosu oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in okula Durban\u2019 da ba\u015flad\u0131. 17 ya\u015f\u0131nda Lizbona\u2019 a d\u00f6nd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Lizbon\u2019 da birtak\u0131m ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131z i\u015f kurma giri\u015fiminden sonra ithalat-ihracat firmalar\u0131n\u0131n \u0130ngilizce ve Frans\u0131zca yaz\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131 yaparak hayat\u0131n\u0131 kazanan Pessoa, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fc Tejo Nehri\u2019 ne bakarak, Portekiz halk\u0131n\u0131n okyanuslara, eski imparatorluklara duydu\u011fu b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00f6zlemi seyrederek ge\u00e7irdi. Terreiro do Po\u00e7o\u2019 da, Martinho da Arcada Kahvesinde ya da Bairro Alto\u2019 daki Brasileira\u2019 da dostlar\u0131yla edebiyat konu\u015ftu. Sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda yay\u0131nlanan yap\u0131tlar\u0131 olduysa da, esas olarak \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra, yaz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 toplad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n bulunmas\u0131yla \u00fcn kazand\u0131; yakla\u015f\u0131k 27 bin sayfaya yay\u0131lan, farkl\u0131 t\u00fcrlerde eserler vermi\u015fti Pessoa ve bunlar\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 kendi ad\u0131yla de\u011fil, birer ya\u015fam\u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcyle, ki\u015filikle, hatta edebi duru\u015f ve tarzla donatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 70 ayr\u0131 kurmaca yazar\u0131n, d\u0131\u015fkimli\u011fin ad\u0131yla imzalanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/p>\n

Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 yazarlar\u0131n en \u00fcnl\u00fcleri k\u00f6t\u00fc bir Portekizce\u2019 yle, ilkel do\u011fa \u015fiirleri yazan Alberto Caeiro, pagan dinlere inanan hekim Ricardo Reis, \u201ci\u00e7inde bir Yunan \u015fairi bar\u0131nd\u0131ran Whitman\u201d diye tarif edilen Alvaro de Campos\u2019 tur. Pessoa Alberto Caeiro\u2019 nun ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u201c\u0130\u00e7imde ustam do\u011fdu\u201d diye anlat\u0131r. Me\u015fhur sand\u0131ktaki \u00f6b\u00fcr yazarlar aras\u0131nda Frans\u0131zca ya da \u0130ngilizce yazanlar, kad\u0131nlar, yar\u0131m kalm\u0131\u015f karakterler vard\u0131r. Tek bir insan\u0131n ruhunda ya\u015fayan, bu t\u00fcyler \u00fcrpertici yazarlar kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir efsaneye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmesi do\u011fal olsa da, genellikle g\u00f6z ard\u0131 edilen, Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n yaratt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bir s\u0131r olarak saklamad\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Yak\u0131n arkada\u015flar\u0131 olan Mario de Sa Carneiro, Jose de Almada-Neigreiros, Luis de Montalvor gibi yazarlarla onlar\u0131 payla\u015f\u0131r, dergilerde onlar\u0131n imzas\u0131yla \u015fiirler, makaleler yay\u0131nlat\u0131rd\u0131.
Her ne kadar Pessoa, ba\u015fta Kafka olmak \u00fczere \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra ke\u015ffedilen pek \u00e7ok yazar gibi yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131yla adeta bilin\u00e7li bir \u00e7abadan \u00e7ok bir i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcyle yazan bir yazar g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc verse de, \u00f6ncelikle kendinden \u00f6nceki yazar ku\u015faklar\u0131n\u0131n yap\u0131tlar\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131yan, edebiyat arenas\u0131nda boy g\u00f6steren, tart\u0131\u015fmalara giren bir edebiyat\u00e7\u0131yd\u0131. 1915\u2019 te iki say\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kabilen Orpheu dergisinde, ele\u015ftirmenlerin k\u0131yas\u0131ya ele\u015ftirdi\u011fi yenilik\u00e7i s\u00f6zler sarfetmi\u015fti. 1921\u2019 de birka\u00e7 arkada\u015f\u0131yla birlikte Olisipo ad\u0131nda bir yay\u0131nevi-kitabevi kurmu\u015ftu. 1922\u2019den itibaren Contemporanea edebiyat dergisine katk\u0131da bulunmu, 1924\u2019 te ise Athena dergisinin kurucular\u0131 aras\u0131nda yer alm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden bir y\u0131l \u00f6nce yay\u0131nlanan, sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7\u0131kan tek kitab\u0131 olarak kalan Mensagem\u2019le Antero de Quental \u00d6d\u00fcl\u00fc\u2019 n\u00fc alm\u0131\u015f, Salazar\u2019 \u0131n ba\u015fkanl\u0131k etti\u011fi \u00f6d\u00fcl t\u00f6renine kat\u0131lmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. 1935\u2019 te ise sans\u00fcrden dolay\u0131 Portekiz\u2019 de bir daha hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yay\u0131nlatmamaya karar vermi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n efsanesinde en dokunakl\u0131 ve b\u00fcy\u00fcleyici olan kendini kimliklerle \u00e7o\u011faltmas\u0131ndan ziyade, bu kimlikleri yaratmaya onu iten \u201cba\u015fl\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na edebiyat, b\u00fct\u00fcn edebiyat\u201d olma iste\u011fi, apayr\u0131 renklere b\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u00fcrmeyi bildi\u011fi diliyle, ifade g\u00fcc\u00fcyle yap\u0131t\u0131n\u0131n kendisidir. Farkl\u0131 yazarlar\u0131 var ederken, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ve var olu\u015f s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu kendine, kendi \u00fczerinden de onlara g\u00f6stermek ister gibidir. Bu haliyle, Anatole France\u2019 \u0131n 1887 y\u0131l\u0131nda yay\u0131nlanan Les Fous Dans la Litterature (Edebiyatta Deliler) makalesinde verdi\u011fi \u00f6rne\u011fi hat\u0131rlat\u0131r:Anatole France\u2019\u0131n \u00e7ocuklu\u011fundaki bir kom\u015funun hikayesidir bu. Ya\u015fl\u0131 adam o\u011flunu kaybetmi\u015f, o andan itibaren de s\u0131rt\u0131na bir d\u00f6\u015fek y\u00fcz\u00fc ge\u00e7irip \u00f6yle dola\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bir de, o\u011flu sanki hi\u00e7 varolmam\u0131\u015f gibi davranmakta, ne \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden ne ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnlerden, an\u0131lar\u0131ndan hi\u00e7 bahsetmemektedir. Bir ev ortam\u0131na girip de s\u0131rt\u0131ndakini \u00e7\u0131karmas\u0131 gerekti\u011finde bastonunu bir omurga gibi \u00f6rt\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7ine koyar, ba\u015f\u0131ndaki topuza da \u015fapkas\u0131n\u0131 takar. Sonra bir s\u00fcre bu bi\u00e7imsiz cesedi seyreder.<\/p>\n

Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n Anatole France\u2019 \u0131n an\u0131s\u0131ndaki seyrici mi, yoksa bo\u015f ceset mi oldu\u011funu anlamak kolay de\u011fildir elbette, hele Bernardo Soares gibi, Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n \u201cyar\u0131-d\u0131\u015fkimlik\u201d olarak niteledi\u011fi, Pessoa\u2019 ya \u00e7ok yak\u0131n bir karakter s\u00f6z konusu oldu\u011funda. Soares, Huzursuzlu\u011fun Kitab\u0131\u2019 n\u0131n yazar\u0131 olarak yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Huzursuzlu\u011fun Kitab\u0131, kurmaca bir karakterin kendi hayat\u0131n\u0131 anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir roman olarak g\u00f6r\u00fclebilir; ancak yazarla kahramam\u0131 s\u0131k s\u0131k birbirinin yerine ge\u00e7ti\u011finden, Pessoa\u2019 n\u0131n hayatla ilgili kendine ait olan ve olmayan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleri d\u00f6kt\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, evirip \u00e7evirdi\u011fi bir denemeler, anlat\u0131lar toplam\u0131 olarak kabul edilebilir. Pessoa bu kitap \u00fczerinde 1913\u2019 ten itibaren \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne dek par\u00e7a par\u00e7a yazmaya devam etmi\u015fti. Sand\u0131k a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131ktan sonra, da\u011f\u0131n\u0131k metinler bir araya getirilmeye ba\u015fland\u0131 ve 1982\u2019 de Portekiz\u2019 de yap\u0131t ilk kez olarak bas\u0131ld\u0131, daha sonra, yeni bulunan par\u00e7alar\u0131n eklenmesiyle, el yazmalar\u0131nda yanl\u0131\u015f okunmu\u015f yerlerin d\u00fczeltilmesiyle yeni bas\u0131mlar yap\u0131ld\u0131. D\u00fcnyay\u0131 seyretmekle yetinmek isteyen, eylemsizli\u011fi en y\u00fcce erdem ve ger\u00e7ek ya\u015fam olarak g\u00f6ren Soraes, Pessoa i\u00e7in belki de d\u00fcnyan\u0131n ve ya\u015faman\u0131n ne oldu\u011funu g\u00f6steren bir perdedir. Huzursuzlu\u011fun Kitab\u0131 ayn\u0131 zamanda, bir edebiyat\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n ula\u015fmak istedi\u011fi yap\u0131tla ka\u011f\u0131da d\u00f6kebildiklerinin aras\u0131ndaki mesafedir de; hayal edilenin soluk, titrek bir sureti, g\u00f6lgesi olarak kalmaya, kusurlu olmaya mahkumdur; t\u0131pk\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn kitaplar ve b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7eviriler gibi.<\/p>\n

Saadet \u00d6ZEN-\u00c7evirmen<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015fmeyen, her an\u0131 ayn\u0131 yo\u011funlukta akan bir hayatta, i\u00e7ine g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fc oldu\u011fum durgunlu\u011fu bir temizlik kusuru, de\u011fi\u015fmezli\u011fin y\u00fczeyine yap\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir kir ya da toz olarak de\u011ferlendirebilirim ancak. Bedenimizi nas\u0131l y\u0131k\u0131yorsak, yazg\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 da y\u0131kayabilmeli, \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r de\u011fi\u015ftirir gibi hayat de\u011fi\u015ftirebilmeliydik-yemek yedi\u011fimizde ya da uyudu\u011fumuzda oldu\u011fu gibi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in de\u011fil, tam olarak temizlik ad\u0131 verilen, bizden do\u011fup […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[138],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-4775","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-edebiyat-dunya"},"yoast_head":"\nHayatla aramda ince bir cam var. A\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6rmeme ve anlamama ra\u011fmen, dokunam\u0131yorum hayata | F.Pessoa - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2010\/11\/08\/hayatla-aramda-ince-bir-cam-var-acikca-gormeme-ve-anlamama-ragmen-dokunamiyorum-hayata-fpessoa\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hayatla aramda ince bir cam var. 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