{"id":5932,"date":"2011-05-16T09:54:26","date_gmt":"2011-05-16T06:54:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2011\/05\/16\/tum-sesler-yitiyor-her-yer-beyaz-isik-sonuveriyor-yiten-sesler-ozlen-yildiz\/"},"modified":"2011-05-16T09:54:26","modified_gmt":"2011-05-16T06:54:26","slug":"tum-sesler-yitiyor-her-yer-beyaz-isik-sonuveriyor-yiten-sesler-ozlen-yildiz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2011\/05\/16\/tum-sesler-yitiyor-her-yer-beyaz-isik-sonuveriyor-yiten-sesler-ozlen-yildiz\/","title":{"rendered":"T\u00fcm sesler yitiyor. Her yer beyaz. I\u015f\u0131k s\u00f6n\u00fcveriyor | Yiten Sesler – \u00d6zlen Y\u0131ld\u0131z"},"content":{"rendered":"

Suya dald\u0131r\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Islak t\u00fcyler topakland\u0131. Sessizlik. Avu\u00e7lar\u0131nda bir titremeye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc \u0131slakl\u0131k. Leyla\u2019n\u0131n g\u00f6zleriyle bulu\u015ftu, iki yuvarlak karart\u0131. A\u011fl\u0131yor mu ne? Karn\u0131ndan gelen k\u0131m\u0131l k\u0131m\u0131l bir nefret. Tekrar etti ilk hareketi. Suyla bulu\u015fan canl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nd\u0131. Havayla bulu\u015ftu\u011funda koca bir miyavlamaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc t\u00fcm sesler.<\/p>\n

Yavru kedi, kurtuldu Leyla\u2019n\u0131n elinden. Korkuyla k\u00f6\u015feyi d\u00f6nd\u00fc, g\u00f6zden kayboldu. Taze iki t\u0131rnak izi kald\u0131 geride. \u0130zlerin say\u0131s\u0131 art\u0131k say\u0131lm\u0131yor. \u00d6c almak bu mudur ki?<\/p>\n

Alkol kokan koca bir devdi baba. Koca eller, alt\u0131n suyuna batm\u0131\u015f gibi sar\u0131 kal\u0131n t\u0131rnakl\u0131 ayaklar, koca ayaklar, eksik di\u015fler. Sallanan bir devdi baba. Salland\u0131k\u00e7a annesi korkard\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcne d\u00fc\u015fmesinden. D\u00fc\u015ferdi de \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Ezilirdi annesi. Sonra a\u011flard\u0131. Her g\u00fcn a\u011flard\u0131. Yemek yaparken plastik havanda sar\u0131msak ezerdi. Bula\u015f\u0131k y\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, yan\u0131k kokusu. Annesi dalg\u0131n. \u00c7ok uzaklardad\u0131r o. Hep uzaklara gider ve orada kalmak ister. Eksik kalanlar bir az olsun tamamlan\u0131r. Bir an. Sonra yiter. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131ndan \u00e7ekip al\u0131r onu babas\u0131, ger\u00e7ekli\u011fe s\u00fcr\u00fckler. Ocak t\u00fcter. Buna da \u015f\u00fck\u00fcrd\u00fcr. Annesi hep \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr. Baba incir a\u011fac\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00d6\u011fretmen cin demeyin dedi. Yoksa gelirlermi\u015f. Ben hep s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum. \u0130stemeden, i\u00e7imden defalarca tekrarl\u0131yorum. Cin cin cin\u2026 engel olam\u0131yorum. Gelirler mi anne? Geceleri hep akl\u0131ma geliyor. Ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131rlar m\u0131 beni de? Ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131yorlarm\u0131\u015f. Nereye g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrler ki acaba? Buradan daha m\u0131 k\u00f6t\u00fcd\u00fcr?<\/p>\n

Kimileyin, babas\u0131 s\u0131zard\u0131 gecede. Sokaklarda bir yerlerde. Yaln\u0131zl\u0131k. Annesinin kollar\u0131na b\u0131rak\u0131rd\u0131 kendini Leyla. Sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n bilinmeyen bir yerinde bir kitap, e\u011frilmi\u015f g\u00f6zl\u00fck.Bir ayindi sat\u0131rlar. Yaln\u0131zca yaln\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131nda g\u00fcn y\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc k\u00fclkedisi. \u00d6\u011fretmen edal\u0131 annesi nereye saklan\u0131r. Uzun zaman uyur sonra uyan\u0131r. Sar\u0131 Hatice gibi heceler o da. B\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0131n\u0131f g\u00fcler Hatice\u2019ye, Leyla g\u00fcler. Annesini dinlerken ciddile\u015fir. Ya\u011fmurlar ya\u011far. Uykunun kollar\u0131na b\u0131rak\u0131r kendini Leyla.<\/p>\n

Kara b\u00f6cekler y\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc gecede. Ah\u015fap zeminde ayak seslerini dinlerdi Leyla. Kaygan, \u0131slak siyahl\u0131k. Y\u00fckl\u00fck karanl\u0131k. Penceresiz, kap\u0131 duvar. O\u011flanlarla oynamak yasakt\u0131. Biraz \u0131\u015f\u0131k olsa, Leyla karanl\u0131\u011fa al\u0131\u015fsa. Sesleri dinledi. Tek bir b\u00f6ce\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Koca dev. A\u011fz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f yasak dedi. V\u00fccudunda gezinen k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ayaklar, kendine sar\u0131ld\u0131 Leyla. Yaln\u0131zca kendine, hep kendi. Yasak. G\u00f6rd\u00fc Leyla, hak etmek neydi \u00f6\u011frendi.<\/p>\n

Anne sen hep hak etti\u011fini al\u0131yorsun, ben hak etti\u011fimi. Allah baba m\u0131? Allah erkek mi? \u00d6\u011fretmen dedi ki, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyin onu. Yanarm\u0131\u015f\u0131z. Hayal etmek yasak, ama ben d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum anne. Hep g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcne geliyor. Elleri, ayaklar\u0131 yok, burnu yok. Yaln\u0131zca g\u00f6z. Bulutlar gibi yayvan, hafif. Yanar m\u0131y\u0131m? Engel olam\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n

G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc yar\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o g\u00fcn. K\u0131zg\u0131n. Babas\u0131 gene z\u0131rl\u0131yor diyor annen. Annesi camda. Ya\u011fmur yanaklar\u0131ndan, sa\u00e7lar\u0131ndan s\u0131z\u0131yor. Bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 donuk, iki madeni para. Sigara duman\u0131, anason kokusu. Annesi camda. G\u00f6zleri biraz \u00f6nce bir otob\u00fcse atlad\u0131 ve gitti, \u00e7ok uzaklardalar \u015fimdi. Sonra, sonras\u0131 bo\u015flukta. Revan oldu annesi. Kanad\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k bir ser\u00e7e \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nd\u0131 ta\u015f zeminde. Ya\u011fmur y\u0131kad\u0131 soka\u011f\u0131, kalabal\u0131k vahland\u0131, y\u0131kand\u0131. Hakk\u0131n rahmeti. G\u00fcn g\u00f6ren var m\u0131yd\u0131?<\/p>\n

\u0130yilik Yapmal\u0131y\u0131m. O zaman severmi\u015f beni Allah. Sevap yazarm\u0131\u015f defterine. Ben k\u00f6t\u00fc m\u00fcy\u00fcm anne? \u00d6yle s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor Ademler. Bin iyilik dahi silemezmi\u015f. Kalem, k\u00e2\u011f\u0131t, silgi. B\u00f6yle d\u00fc\u015flememi\u015ftim onu ben. \u00d6\u011fretmen gibi. Notlar\u0131m hep k\u0131r\u0131k oysa. Kalbim. Kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ks\u0131z seven yok mu?<\/p>\n

Ben kalp k\u0131rm\u0131ycam anne.<\/p>\n

Hep sevap,<\/p>\n

hep sev.<\/p>\n

Beyaz bir leylak takt\u0131 yakas\u0131na Leyla. Beyaz \u00f6nl\u00fck, ba\u015f\u0131na kep. Duvarda sus i\u015fareti. Makineye ba\u011fl\u0131 hayatlar. Y\u00fcz\u00fcnde silinmeyen bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f, yap\u0131\u015f\u0131k. Nereye baksa, kimle konu\u015fsa. Oysa cam k\u0131r\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 toplay\u0131p b\u00fct\u00fcnleyemedi, kanad\u0131. Nereye dokunsa bir s\u0131z\u0131. Kime yakla\u015fsa yaln\u0131zl\u0131k.<\/p>\n

Mevsimsiz \u00e7ilekler gibi tats\u0131z hayat.<\/p>\n

\u201cBa\u015fkas\u0131na anne demem ben.\u201d
Gene karanl\u0131k. Y\u00fckl\u00fck, zifir. A\u011fulu bir s\u0131z\u0131 her yan\u0131nda. Kap\u0131ya yap\u0131\u015f\u0131yor Leyla, avaz\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nca ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor: Annee
\u201cBen sana yola gelir demi\u015ftim.\u201d
Y\u00fcz\u00fcne bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131 Leyla ve hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131karmad\u0131.\u00a0 Yola geldi. Dikenler batt\u0131. Can\u0131 yand\u0131, y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc.
\u201cBug\u00fcn \u00f6\u011fretmen..\u201d
\u201cB\u0131rak \u015fimdi \u00f6\u011fretmeni de buz getir bana. Annenle \u015f\u00f6yle kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131.\u201d<\/p>\n

S\u0131kt\u0131 di\u015flerini, i\u00e7inden tekrarlad\u0131 defalarca. O benim annem de\u011fil, annem de\u011fil o, annem de\u011fil .<\/p>\n

Gece, n\u00f6bet. Beyaz bir sessizlik d\u00f6rt yan\u0131. Cebinde i\u011fne. Yakla\u015f\u0131yor yata\u011fa. Makinenin d\u00fczenli bitkisel sesi. Bir umut, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k. \u00c7aresizce bekleyi\u015f. Az sonra sona erecek Leyla\u2019n\u0131n ellerinde. Leyla\u2019n\u0131n usta elleriyle bulu\u015fuyor \u0130\u011fne, \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor sakland\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden. \u0130\u00e7inde k\u0131m\u0131l k\u0131m\u0131l. Tekrarl\u0131yor o hareketi. T\u00fcm sesler yitiyor. Her yer beyaz. I\u015f\u0131k s\u00f6n\u00fcveriyor…<\/p>\n

Yiten Sesler | \u00d6zlen Y\u0131ld\u0131z<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Suya dald\u0131r\u0131p \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131. Islak t\u00fcyler topakland\u0131. Sessizlik. Avu\u00e7lar\u0131nda bir titremeye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc \u0131slakl\u0131k. Leyla\u2019n\u0131n g\u00f6zleriyle bulu\u015ftu, iki yuvarlak karart\u0131. A\u011fl\u0131yor mu ne? Karn\u0131ndan gelen k\u0131m\u0131l k\u0131m\u0131l bir nefret. Tekrar etti ilk hareketi. Suyla bulu\u015fan canl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nd\u0131. Havayla bulu\u015ftu\u011funda koca bir miyavlamaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc t\u00fcm sesler. Yavru kedi, kurtuldu Leyla\u2019n\u0131n elinden. Korkuyla k\u00f6\u015feyi d\u00f6nd\u00fc, g\u00f6zden kayboldu. Taze iki […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5932","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-turkiye-den-oykuler"},"yoast_head":"\nT\u00fcm sesler yitiyor. Her yer beyaz. I\u015f\u0131k s\u00f6n\u00fcveriyor | Yiten Sesler - \u00d6zlen Y\u0131ld\u0131z - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2011\/05\/16\/tum-sesler-yitiyor-her-yer-beyaz-isik-sonuveriyor-yiten-sesler-ozlen-yildiz\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"T\u00fcm sesler yitiyor. Her yer beyaz. 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