\u00a0<\/p>\n
Orta Asya’daki pembe elipsin i\u00e7inden
\u00c7\u0131kan k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 oklara binerek, Bozkurtlar (kanatl\u0131) \u00c7in’den
Nas\u0131l u\u00e7mu\u015flarsa Tanca’ya kadar,
Ben de (alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131mda) dar
Ve y\u00fcksek \u00e7amurluklu tenezz\u00fchle (Ford T modeli) Ankara’ya ula\u015ft\u0131m
Sa\u011f salim. ‘Ya\u011fmur \u00c7ayevi’nin \u00f6n\u00fcnde dola\u015ft\u0131m
Uyu\u015fan bacaklar\u0131m\u0131 oynatarak Ankara’n\u0131n topra\u011f\u0131nda.
Ta\u015fhan,
Bana d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck meydan\u0131 gibi geldi.
G\u00f6z\u00fcne g\u00fcne\u015f gelmesin diye elini
Siper eden Mehmet\u00e7ik heykeli ne g\u00fczeldi.
Ve b\u00fcstlerinden yaln\u0131z g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne kadar tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131m Atat\u00fcrk
Kabartmal\u0131 ve y\u00fcksek
Bir mermerin \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f at\u0131yla.
(B\u00f6ylece tan\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f oldum heykel sanat\u0131yla.)
Baba, oradaki kad\u0131n s\u0131rt\u0131nda ne ta\u015f\u0131yor?
‘Bomba.’ Neden? ‘T\u00fcrk yurdu topyekun sava\u015f\u0131yor.’
Sava\u015f cephede bitti (yirmi y\u0131l \u00f6nce) .
Oysa, bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc bitmez okul kitaplar\u0131ndan ince
Sesimle okudugum
\u015eiirlerde (Zafer Bayram\u0131 m\u00fcnasebetiyle) .’O\u011flum,
Bu ne \u015eeker ne de Kurban Bayram\u0131, ‘
Derken babam hakl\u0131yd\u0131,
30 A\u011fustos g\u00fcn\u00fc elini \u00f6perek ondan
Para istedigim zaman.
(Babama \u015fiir okumay\u0131 bile d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyordum o s\u0131rada.)<\/p>\n
Babam \u015fiir sevmezdi. Evimize arada
Gelen Mimar Cemil Uluer yaln\u0131z \u015fiir yazard\u0131.
(Babam bu adama nedense k\u0131zard\u0131.)
‘Bir kere, mimar de\u011fil bu herif..’
Diye ba\u015flad\u0131 m\u0131, hafif
\u00dcz\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fc annem. ‘Can\u0131m Numan Bey
-bey derdi babama- bu kadar \u015fey olma (\u015fey derdi annem s\u0131k s\u0131k) .
Adamcag\u0131za yaz\u0131k.’
Mimar Cemil \u015fiir bina ederdi.
K\u0131\u015fl\u0131k k\u00f6m\u00fcr\u00fc bizim evden giderdi.
M\u00fcste\u015far Nam\u0131k Beyi ziyaretlerinde de arz-\u0131 h\u00fcrmetleriyle
Ve kimin okdugu belli olmayan hikmetleriyle
Dolu kitab\u0131n\u0131 sunar; bir kat giyilmi\u015f elbise al\u0131r (yazl\u0131k) .
\u015eair ve mimar olmaktan vazge\u00e7tim(yaz\u0131k) .<\/p>\n
Sevmedim okulu \u00f6nce,
‘\u00d6\u011fretmenim’ tutmad\u0131 yerini annemin (bence.)
Beni \u00e7ingenelere vermek istemeseydi
Babam, bir dev anas\u0131 gibi
G\u00f6r\u00fcnen \u00f6\u011fretmenden ka\u00e7ard\u0131m (ne iyi olurdu) .
Korkuyu
Bah\u00e7edeki huysuz ve parlak kanatl\u0131
Horoz tan\u0131tt\u0131 bana.
Bir de \u00f6\u011fretmenim Rana.
‘Kula\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekerim. konu\u015fma, terbiyesiz,
Yakar\u0131m a\u011fz\u0131n\u0131z\u0131. \u00e7i\u015fim geldi derseniz.
K\u0131rar\u0131m notunuzu haylazl\u0131k ederseniz.
Yar\u0131na sat\u0131r sat\u0131r ezberlensin dersiniz.’<\/p>\n
Yorgan\u0131 att\u0131m \u00fczerimden o gece,
\u00c7\u0131plak ayakla ta\u015flara bast\u0131m o gece. K\u0131rk derece
Ate\u015fim \u00e7\u0131ks\u0131n diye bekliyordum. Sak\u0131n
G\u00f6ndermesin babam beni okula yar\u0131n,
Olur mu Allah\u0131m. -Allah\u0131m diye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fken
Dua edeyim hemen:
Babama, bana ve nineme
Ve apartmandaki Baha Beye, kar\u0131s\u0131na ve o\u011fluna
Ve mahalledekilere ve rahmetli dedem H\u00fcsrev kuluna
Ve Ankara’dakilere ve T\u00fcrkiye’dekilere
Ve d\u00fcnyadaki b\u00fct\u00fcn iyilere
Rahatl\u0131k ver.
Onlar\u0131n i\u00e7inde (varsa e\u011fer)
H\u0131rs\u0131z, fena
Ve k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck etmek i\u00e7in insana
F\u0131rsat bekleyenlere
VE beni azarlayan kap\u0131c\u0131m\u0131z Kamber’e
Ve beni bah\u00e7ede korkutan horoza
Ve ezberimi bilmezsem ceza
Verecek \u00f6\u011fretmene
Rahatl\u0131k verme.
(Ceza vermezse rahatl\u0131k ver.)<\/p>\n
Yeter
Bu kadar. Allah k\u0131zar sonra \u00e7ok istersen.
Yaln\u0131z unuttum; ne olur rahatl\u0131k versen
Galatasaray oyuncular\u0131na. Yar\u0131n
Ma\u00e7lar\u0131 var da; yenilmesinler sak\u0131n.<\/p>\n
‘Bu \u00e7ocuk ne olacak b\u00f6yle. M\u00fczeyyen? Yaramaz
Olsayd\u0131 p\u0131s\u0131r\u0131k olacag\u0131na. Hi\u00e7 kimseyle konu\u015fmaz
S\u0131n\u0131fta. Tek ba\u015f\u0131na ko\u015far durur bah\u00e7ede. Onu
Eve kapatmak do\u011fru mu?
\u00c7al\u0131\u015fkan fakat korkak.’ Annem \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc
Fakat belli etmedi. ‘\u00d6\u011fretmenim’ \u00e7ok g\u00fcld\u00fc
\u00c7arp\u0131n\u00e7a a\u011faca ‘Affedersiniz’
Dedi\u011fimi anlat\u0131rken. Annem s\u00f6z\u00fc k\u0131sa kesti: ‘Dersiniz
Ba\u015flayacak. Vaktini ald\u0131m Rana.
\u0130n\u015fallah b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce laz\u0131m o\u015fur vatana.’
Olmad\u0131 kimseye laz\u0131m. Aranmad\u0131
Aramay\u0131nca.
Okul boyunca
Ne futbol tak\u0131m\u0131na al\u0131nd\u0131, ne s\u0131n\u0131f m\u00fcmessili olabildi.
Nedense bir y\u00f6n\u00fcyle -belki de her y\u00f6n\u00fcyle- saf kalabildi.
Yaln\u0131z bir korku kald\u0131 ku\u015fkuyla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k;
Sonunda k\u00f6t\u00fc bir \u015fey olur korkusuyla ya\u015fad\u0131 Selim I\u015f\u0131k
Her olay\u0131. Eski bir yara izi i\u00e7inde s\u0131zlad\u0131, her e\u011fili\u015finde
\u0130nsanlara. D\u00fcnyaya bir daha geli\u015finde
\u00c7ocuk ve korkusuz ya\u015famak ister s\u00fcrekli.
B\u00fcy\u00fcmek, yaln\u0131z tutunanlara gerekli.
\u0130kinci geli\u015finde \u00e7\u0131r\u0131l \u00e7\u0131plak dola\u015facak
Kelimenin b\u00fct\u00fcn anlam\u0131yla \u00e7\u0131r\u0131l \u00e7\u0131plak<\/p>\n
Hep birlikte (son s\u0131n\u0131flar) topland\u0131k arka bah\u00e7ede.
‘\u00c7\u0131kt\u0131k a\u00e7\u0131k al\u0131nla’y\u0131 s\u00f6yledik bir ag\u0131zdan
M\u00fczik s\u0131nav\u0131yd\u0131 bu (toptan) .
Herkes pekiyi ald\u0131, imtihan iyi gitti
Son g\u00fcn\u00fcyd\u00fc okulun, m\u00fcjde ilkokul bitti.<\/p>\n
Yaz s\u0131cag\u0131nda evde
Can\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131lmas\u0131n ve
(Zararl\u0131 ili\u015fkileri olmas\u0131n sokakta)
K\u0131\u015f g\u00fcn\u00fc
Eski hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n izlerini ta\u015f\u0131yan g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn\u00fc
\u00dc\u015f\u00fctmesin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesiyle
Eve kapand\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman -yani okul d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndaki b\u00fct\u00fcn saatlerde-
Divanda otururdu
Durmadan dergi okurdu.
(Siz ‘libidonun \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fc’
Filmini g\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcz m\u00fc?)
Binbir Roman, Yavrut\u00fcrk,
\u00c7ocuk Haftas\u0131. ‘B\u00fcy\u00fck
Adam olacak.’ Misafirler sayg\u0131yla bakar y\u00fcz\u00fcme,
Sevgili b\u00fcy\u00fcklerim: i\u015fte size bir manzume<\/p>\n
Sabah erken kalkar\u0131m
Ne y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc y\u0131kar\u0131m
Ne soka\u011fa \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131m.
K\u0131\u015f\u0131n soba yakar\u0131m
Yaz\u0131n camdan bakar\u0131m
Hayattan yok \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131m.<\/p>\n
\u00d6\u011flen olur yemek yerim
F\u0131r\u00e7alanmaz hi\u00e7 di\u015flerim
Acaba ne yapsam derim
Kovboy filmine giderim
D\u00f6n\u00fcnce k\u0131zar pederim.<\/p>\n
Ak\u015fam olur g\u00fcne\u015f batar
Babam hep anneme \u00e7atar
Cici \u00e7ocuk erkenden yatar
Hayat s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 ne kadar.<\/p>\n
O\u011fuz ATAY<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 Orta Asya’daki pembe elipsin i\u00e7inden\u00c7\u0131kan k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 oklara binerek, Bozkurtlar (kanatl\u0131) \u00c7in’denNas\u0131l u\u00e7mu\u015flarsa Tanca’ya kadar,Ben de (alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131mda) darVe y\u00fcksek \u00e7amurluklu tenezz\u00fchle (Ford T modeli) Ankara’ya ula\u015ft\u0131mSa\u011f salim. ‘Ya\u011fmur \u00c7ayevi’nin \u00f6n\u00fcnde dola\u015ft\u0131mUyu\u015fan bacaklar\u0131m\u0131 oynatarak Ankara’n\u0131n topra\u011f\u0131nda.Ta\u015fhan,Bana d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck meydan\u0131 gibi geldi.G\u00f6z\u00fcne g\u00fcne\u015f gelmesin diye eliniSiper eden Mehmet\u00e7ik heykeli ne g\u00fczeldi.Ve b\u00fcstlerinden yaln\u0131z g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne kadar […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[187],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5939","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-oguz-atay"},"yoast_head":"\n