{"id":650,"date":"2009-04-16T10:40:25","date_gmt":"2009-04-16T07:40:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/04\/16\/ben-ruhi-bey-nasilim\/"},"modified":"2009-04-16T10:40:25","modified_gmt":"2009-04-16T07:40:25","slug":"ben-ruhi-bey-nasilim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2009\/04\/16\/ben-ruhi-bey-nasilim\/","title":{"rendered":"BEN RUH\u0130 BEY NASILIM?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I <\/p>\n<p> G\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc hi\u00e7 suyun yanmas\u0131n\u0131 tuzda <br \/> G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ben bu ya\u015fam boyu iniltiyi <br \/> B\u00fcy\u00fck bah\u00e7elerin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck i\u00e7inde <br \/> Saks\u0131lardan birinde <br \/> G\u00f6rd\u00fcm de <br \/> Uyurken uyand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi <br \/> Beni bir sardunya b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc belki. <\/p>\n<p> O ben ki <br \/> Bir kad\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuk hayaleti mi <br \/> Bir \u00e7ocukta bir kad\u0131n hayaleti mi <br \/> Yaln\u0131zca bir hayalet mi yoksa. <\/p>\n<p> Ne peki <br \/> Yere d\u00f6k\u00fclen bir un sessizli\u011fi mi <br \/> G\u00f6\u011fe b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir balon sessizli\u011fi mi <br \/> \u0130\u015fini bitirmi\u015f bir org tamircisinin <br \/> Tu\u015flardan birine dokunacakkenki <br \/> Dikkati ve tedirginli\u011fi mi. <\/p>\n<p> Bekler mi beni <br \/> Her yan\u0131, ama her yan\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar gibi g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen <br \/> Bir s\u00fcr\u00fc yaz g\u00fcn\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7inde <br \/> Acaba bekler mi beni <br \/> Uykular\u0131m, o sonsuz uykular\u0131m <br \/> Yanm\u0131\u015f bir limonluktaki <br \/> &#8211; Ve limonlar ki her g\u00fcn bir yaprak ayininde <br \/> Sesini hi\u00e7 eksiltmeyen &#8211; <br \/> Ama bilmez miyim ben <br \/> Bilmez miyim hi\u00e7 <br \/> B\u00f6yle s\u0131\u011f hayallerle oyalanmak yerine <br \/> K\u0131sac\u0131k bir zaman olmal\u0131yd\u0131 elimde <br \/> Turfanda meyva gibi bir zaman <br \/> Yollar yollar kateden tad\u0131 ve ek\u015fili\u011fi <br \/> Ge\u00e7erek erguvanlar\u0131n d\u00f6nemecinden <br \/> Leylaklar\u0131n d\u00f6rtyol a\u011fz\u0131ndan <br \/> Yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131ncaya dek beni dudaklar\u0131na <br \/> Ac\u0131n\u0131n dudaklar\u0131na ve ge\u00e7mi\u015fin <br \/> Bir yaban g\u00fcl\u00fc yapra\u011f\u0131 gibi beni <br \/> Ama ne gezer. <\/p>\n<p> Korkmuyorum art\u0131k solmaktan <br \/> Solmaktan ve solgunluktan <br \/> Gelmi\u015fim nerelerden b\u00f6yle <br \/> Kurumu\u015f bir dere yata\u011f\u0131 gibi <br \/> Ya da pek kurumam\u0131\u015f da <br \/> Bayg\u0131n, hasta ya da can\u00e7eki\u015fen <br \/> \u00c7\u0131rparaktan y\u00fczge\u00e7lerimi dip sular\u0131nda <br \/> Ya da yer tahtalar\u0131, mu\u015famba, \u00f6rt\u00fck perdelerin kasvetini <br \/> Yorgun d\u00fc\u015ferek ta\u015f\u0131maktan <br \/> Ve ne \u00e7\u0131kar ay\u0131rmasam kendimi <br \/> Sular\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck i\u00e7kilere kavu\u015ftu\u011fu koylardan. <\/p>\n<p> Koylardan <br \/> Kapsayan o sevimsiz, o k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck a\u015fklar\u0131 da <br \/> Eskiyen turun\u00e7lar gibi ilk rengini pek aratmayan <br \/> Ay\u0131rmasam kendimi <br \/> Diyorum ay\u0131rmasam <br \/> K\u00f6hnemi\u015f bir geminin -izine pek rastlan\u0131lmayan- <br \/> \u0130\u00e7indeki bir yolcudan da, de\u011ferli ta\u015flarla dolu cepleri <br \/> Cepleri y\u00fcre\u011fi cepleri <br \/> Ay\u0131rmasam da ben <br \/> Kim g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc o yolcuyu, yani kim farkederdi beni <br \/> S\u0131radan ac\u0131lard\u0131r \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc b\u00fct\u00fcn ilgileri toplayan <br \/> Oysa s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131y\u0131 buru\u015fuk bir i\u00e7 \u00e7ama\u015f\u0131r\u0131 gibi saklayan <br \/> Bu k\u0131m\u0131lt\u0131s\u0131z g\u00f6vde <br \/> G\u00f6r\u00fclmemi\u015ftir ki hi\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcls\u00fcn \u015fimdi <br \/> G\u00f6r\u00fclmedi\u011fi gibi g\u00fcndo\u011fumundan havalanan ku\u015flar\u0131n <br \/> Ya da bir oda kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z zaman <br \/> O m\u00fc\u015fi\u015f \u00f6\u011fle s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131nda <br \/> Pencerenin \u00f6n\u00fcnde \u00f6rg\u00fc \u00f6ren birinin <br \/> &#8211; \u00d6rg\u00fc m\u00fc, bir \u00e7ay barda\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015fka ba\u015fka tutan ellerin beceriklili\u011fi mi- <br \/> G\u00f6r\u00fclmedi\u011fi gibi <br \/> Ama var m\u0131yd\u0131 sanki g\u00f6r\u00fclmek isteyen <br \/> Var m\u0131yd\u0131 bir \u015feyler bekleyen y\u00fcre\u011fimin eskittiklerinden. <\/p>\n<p> II <\/p>\n<p> Ve her \u015fey h\u0131zla yeti\u015fti sonra <br \/> Sar\u0131 bir g\u00fcn\u00fcn kahverengi yar\u0131n\u0131na. <\/p>\n<p> Y\u0131k\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir a\u011fac\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde y\u0131llarca oturdum da <br \/> G\u00f6zleri av\u0131na benzeyen bir avc\u0131yd\u0131m sanki <br \/> A\u011fa\u00e7 da \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f zaten <br \/> Kaz\u0131m\u0131\u015f, oymu\u015f bir yerlerinden gelip ge\u00e7en onu <br \/> A\u011fa\u00e7 m\u0131, i\u00e7i y\u0131llarla dolu bir kutu mu <br \/> \u00c7\u00f6zmek i\u00e7in mi acaba i\u00e7lerindeki bir gizi <br \/> -Gizi mi, bir giz gereksinmesini mi- <br \/> Yoklam\u0131\u015flar oras\u0131ndan buras\u0131ndan <br \/> Kim bilir. <\/p>\n<p> Ama sessizlikten ba\u015fka ne bulmu\u015flar <br \/> \u00d6nemsiz bir iki an\u0131danba\u015fka <br \/> Ya insan k\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ya da bir dekor ta\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda <br \/> Sorar\u0131m ne bulmu\u015flar <br \/> \u00c7oktan yeni bir umuda d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr onlar da <br \/> An\u0131lar. <\/p>\n<p> Oysa bamba\u015fka \u015feyler olmal\u0131yd\u0131 a\u011fa\u00e7ta <br \/> Kaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, oyulmu\u015f yerlerinde a\u011fac\u0131n <br \/> Buruk mayho\u015f, daha \u00e7ok da bir zehir tad\u0131ndaki <br \/> Bir \u015feyler olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Ve sanki <br \/> Y\u0131llar var ki saklam\u0131\u015f\u0131m orda ben <\/p>\n<p> Saklam\u0131\u015f\u0131m anla\u015f\u0131lan <br \/> Odas\u0131nda yapayaln\u0131z do\u011furan bir kad\u0131n\u0131n <br \/> D\u0131\u015fa vurmak istemedi\u011fi <br \/> Ya da pek gereksinmedi\u011fi <br \/> O iniltiyi and\u0131ran <br \/> Duyurulmayan her \u015feyi. <\/p>\n<p> III <\/p>\n<p> Ve her \u015fey d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc i\u015fte <br \/> Kahverengi bir \u00e7ar\u015fambadan <br \/> Sapsar\u0131 bir cumartesiye. <\/p>\n<p> Ans\u0131z\u0131n bir r\u00fczgar \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 demin <br \/> \u00c7\u00f6lde yan\u0131t arayan alayc\u0131 bir r\u00fczgar <br \/> Kolal\u0131 bir \u00f6rt\u00fc gibi ac\u0131t\u0131yor y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc <br \/> Yak\u0131yor g\u00f6zkapaklar\u0131m\u0131 da <br \/> Toplay\u0131p getiriyor an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 bir bir <br \/> Uzun yollar\u0131 hi\u00e7 sevmeyen an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131. <\/p>\n<p> (Ka\u00e7 t\u00fcrl\u00fc girilirdi an\u0131lardan i\u00e7eri? <br \/> 1 &#8211; \u0130\u015fte bir zamba\u011f\u0131n \u00f6zsuyunun i\u00e7ili\u015fi gibi <br \/> 2 &#8211; S\u00fct emer gibi bir memeden <br \/> B\u00fct\u00fcn renklerin ve b\u00fct\u00fcn kokular\u0131n bir anda bilini\u015fi <br \/> 3 &#8211; Dibini kaz\u0131yor alanlar: d\u00fcnyan\u0131n i\u00e7 \u00e7eki\u015fi.) <\/p>\n<p> (Ansak m\u0131 anmasak m\u0131 <br \/> Yeri mi \u015fimdi de\u011fil mi <br \/> Bir tren yolculu\u011funda ve her yerde <br \/> Her \u015feyin ya da hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin hi\u00e7 mi hi\u00e7 \u00e7ekilmezli\u011fini <br \/> Bir hafta tatilini, bir \u00f6\u011fle vaktini, belki bir pazartesiyi <br \/> Saatler iyi <br \/> Adamlar g\u00fcl\u00fcyorlarsa iyi, g\u00fclm\u00fcyorlarsa gene iyi <br \/> Ve b\u00fct\u00fcn yolcular\u0131n dalg\u0131n <br \/> Kopar\u0131p kopar\u0131p bir \u015feyler yediklerini <br \/> G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fte karars\u0131z <br \/> G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fte \u00fczg\u00fcn, endi\u015feli <br \/> G\u00f6rsek mi acaba, g\u00f6rmesek mi <br \/> A\u00e7\u0131p da kapal\u0131 g\u00f6zlerini arada <br \/> \u015e\u00f6yle bir g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fc tek bir solukta <br \/> Yalandan, inatla i\u00e7ine \u00e7ekenleri <br \/> Ya da bir k\u00f6pr\u00fcden ge\u00e7erken, bir t\u00fcnele girerken <br \/> Belirtip y\u00fczlerinde \u00e7ok g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015fl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn izlerini <br \/> Bir tilki \u00e7evikli\u011fiyle, acele <br \/> Katarak yolculu\u011fa hi\u00e7 yoktan bir gizemlili\u011fi <br \/> Bilmem ki, g\u00f6rmesek mi <br \/> Durunca tren bir istasyonda <br \/> Dudaklar\u0131 \u00e7atlam\u0131\u015f, ate\u015fli, hasta bir istasyonda <br \/> D\u00fcnyan\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn elma sat\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131na bak\u0131p <br \/> Bak\u0131p da her \u015feyi ilk defa tan\u0131yormu\u015f gibi <br \/> Uzan\u0131p pencerelerden sark\u0131k gerdanlar\u0131yla <br \/> Tutarak parmaklar\u0131yla yalanc\u0131 <br \/> Ve ucuzundan bir kolyeyi <br \/> Acaba g\u00f6rmesek mi <br \/> Bir treni ve d\u00fcnyada tren olan her \u015feyi. <\/p>\n<p> Ansak m\u0131 anmasak m\u0131 acaba <br \/> Yeri mi \u015fimdi, de\u011fil mi <br \/> S\u0131ras\u0131n\u0131 bekleyen bir kad\u0131n\u0131n, hasta <br \/> Gere\u011finden fazla abart\u0131lm\u0131\u015f y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc <br \/> Besbelli i\u011frenirdiniz <br \/> \u00c7evirirdiniz g\u00f6zlerinizi yer tahtalar\u0131na <br \/> Bir duvar saatine ya da kap\u0131ya <br \/> Telefona bakard\u0131n\u0131z, t\u0131rnaklar\u0131n\u0131 incelerdiniz uzun uzun <br \/> K\u0131saca <br \/> Ka\u00e7\u0131nmak isterdiniz o y\u00fczden -ama bitmedi- <br \/> G\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcz, g\u00f6r\u00fcverdiniz bir daha <br \/> S\u0131yr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ac\u0131lardan ans\u0131z\u0131n <br \/> Sevecen, durgun, sade <br \/> O y\u00fcz\u00fc <br \/> Belki de, orda, acele <br \/> Karar verdiniz <br \/> Bir anneniz olsun isterdiniz b\u00f6yle <br \/> Ve belki sar\u0131l\u0131p \u00f6pmek isterdiniz onu <br \/> Her neyse&#8230; <\/p>\n<p> S\u00f6ylesek, yeniden mi s\u00f6ylesek \u015fimdi de <br \/> Ben uzun yollar\u0131 hi\u00e7 sevmem <br \/> Do\u011facak bir \u00e7ocuk gibi beklemeli an\u0131lar <br \/> Ans\u0131z\u0131n do\u011fmal\u0131, ans\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6lmeli saniyelerde.) <\/p>\n<p> IV <\/p>\n<p> B\u0131rak\u0131p gidiyor an\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 r\u00fczgar <br \/> Denize b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f \u00e7\u00f6pler gibi <br \/> Yol kenarlar\u0131nda birikmi\u015f gereksiz e\u015fyalar gibi <br \/> Geri veriyor ve \u00e7ekip gidiyor usulca. <\/p>\n<p> Bulan\u0131k bir havuzun yan\u0131nda buluyorum kendimi <br \/> Bak\u0131ms\u0131z, ta\u015flar\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k bir havuzun yan\u0131nda <br \/> \u0130\u00e7inden koyu ye\u015fil bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 <br \/> \u00c7\u00fcr\u00fcmeye y\u00fcz tutmu\u015f yaprak renginde <br \/> A\u011flamas\u0131 ya\u011fmurlu bir sundurmaya benzeyen <br \/> K\u0131r\u0131k iskemleleri, \u00e7atlam\u0131\u015f mermer masas\u0131yla <br \/> Ya\u011fmurlu bir sundurmaya <br \/> Ve pencerelerde belli belirsiz bir kad\u0131n <br \/> Pencerelerde ve her yanda. <\/p>\n<p> Bir \u00e7ocukta bir kad\u0131n hayaleti mi <br \/> Bir kad\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuk hayaleti mi <br \/> Yaln\u0131zca bir hayalet mi yoksa. <\/p>\n<p> (Nerdeyim <br \/> Kelebeklerden dokunu\u015flar alan bir yaprak gibi inceyim <br \/> Para bozduranlar\u0131n az \u00e7ok bildi\u011fi <br \/> Adres soranlar\u0131n gene bildi\u011fi <br \/> Bir sokakta bir a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 bir yukar\u0131 <br \/> Saatlerce dola\u015fanlar\u0131n hemen hemen bildi\u011fi <br \/> Amans\u0131z bir g\u00fcceni\u011fim.) <\/p>\n<p> Geri getiriyor bunlar\u0131 r\u00fczgar <br \/> Geri getiriyor an\u0131lmas\u0131 k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir kona\u011f\u0131 da <br \/> \u0130niltili, hasta bir kona\u011f\u0131 da <br \/> \u00c7at\u0131s\u0131nda bayku\u015flar\u0131n t\u00fcnedi\u011fi <br \/> Birtak\u0131m iplerin d\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmlendi\u011fi tahtabo\u015flarda <br \/> Ve b\u00fct\u00fcn konu\u015fmalar\u0131n tek bir c\u00fcmlede toplan\u0131p <br \/> Suskunlu\u011fu bir an\u0131t gibi y\u00fckseltti\u011fi <br \/> Bir kona\u011f\u0131 ve kona\u011f\u0131n olanca g\u00f6rkemini <br \/> Geri getiriyor r\u00fczgar. <\/p>\n<p> (Konaksa yand\u0131 \u00e7oktan <br \/> Tertemiz bir asfalt ezip ge\u00e7ti onu <br \/> \u0130yi biliyorum tertemiz bir asfalt <br \/> Ezip ge\u00e7ti onu <br \/> K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir konak mezar\u0131 g\u00f6lgesi b\u0131rakarak.) <\/p>\n<p> Ve y\u0131llar ve g\u00fcnler ve saatler ayarland\u0131 <br \/> Caddeler, i\u015fhanlar\u0131 kahveler ayarland\u0131 <br \/> Meyhaneler, genelevler <br \/> Pasajlar, dar sokaklar, ge\u00e7itler <br \/> So\u011fuk biralar ayarland\u0131, so\u011fuk her \u015fey <br \/> Ve b\u00fct\u00fcn ili\u015fkiler <br \/> Birden yerini ald\u0131. <\/p>\n<p> Ve her \u015fey yeti\u015fti gene <br \/> Sar\u0131 bir \u00e7ar\u015fambadan <br \/> Kahverengi bir cumartesiye. <\/p>\n<p> V <\/p>\n<p> Ben Ruhi Bey, nas\u0131l olan Ruhi Bey <br \/> Nas\u0131l\u0131m <br \/> Bir yaz ikindisinden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m geldim <br \/> Diyelim bir pazartesiydi, biraz da \u015f\u00f6yle geldim <br \/> Kap\u0131y\u0131 iyice kapad\u0131m <br \/> &#8211; Kapad\u0131m m\u0131, evet, kapad\u0131m &#8211; <br \/> \u00c7itlenbik a\u011fac\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan ge\u00e7tim <br \/> Frenk \u00fcz\u00fcmlerinden bir iki salk\u0131m kopard\u0131m <br \/> Di\u015flerimle s\u0131y\u0131rd\u0131m <br \/> Sardunya renginde ve sardunya tad\u0131nda idiler <br \/> Biri foto\u011fraf\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7ekiyorkenki gibi durdum <br \/> Az\u0131c\u0131k g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedim <br \/> Ve d\u00fcnya bana g\u00fcl\u00fcmsedi <br \/> \u00c7ak\u0131llar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnden y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm <br \/> Y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm ki, bir sese benziyordum sanki <br \/> Y\u00fczy\u0131llarca \u00f6nce k\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir kemik sesi <br \/> \u0130yice duydum <br \/> \u00c7\u0131karken bah\u00e7e kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rakt\u0131m <br \/> &#8211; \u00c7ok y\u00fcksekti. Deniz dibi renginde ve demirdendi. \u00dcst\u00fcnde aslan ba\u015f\u0131 <br \/> kabartmalar vard\u0131. \u0130ki yan\u0131nda \u00e7ok y\u00fcksek iki duvar uzar giderdi. <br \/> D\u0131\u015fardan \u00e7am \u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bir k\u0131rba\u00e7 gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ve <br \/> a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde k\u0131rba\u00e7 k\u0131l\u0131flar\u0131na benzeyen ve evlatl\u0131klar\u0131n mavi <br \/> pazen giysilerini and\u0131ran kal\u0131nla\u015fm\u0131\u015f bir g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fc dururdu &#8211; <br \/> On sekiz on be\u015f trenine yeti\u015ftim <br \/> Geni\u015f kadife koltu\u011fa oturdum <br \/> Puromu yakt\u0131m &#8211; iki kibrit harcad\u0131m &#8211; <br \/> Ak\u015fam gazetelerinde pek bir \u015fey yoktu <br \/> Haydarpa\u015fa&#8217;ya kadar bulmaca \u00e7\u00f6zd\u00fcm <br \/> \u0130skelede sa\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7ok iyi taranm\u0131\u015f bir k\u0131z bana bakt\u0131 <br \/> Bak\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan tedirgin oldum <br \/> Giyimsizdi, boyas\u0131zd\u0131, bak\u0131ms\u0131zd\u0131 <br \/> Vapurla Karak\u00f6y&#8217;e ge\u00e7tim <br \/> Tokatl\u0131&#8217;ya u\u011frad\u0131m <br \/> K\u00f6pr\u00fcden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m Frans\u0131z dergilerini kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131m <br \/> Kirazla bir kadeh rak\u0131 i\u00e7tim <br \/> \u00c7\u0131karken boy aynas\u0131nda kendime bakt\u0131m <br \/> Olduk\u00e7a yak\u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131yd\u0131m <br \/> G\u00f6mle\u011fim temizdi, beyaz ceketim <br \/> Tertemizdi ve ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m <br \/> Pantolonum \u00fct\u00fcl\u00fc <br \/> Yelek cebimde ince alt\u0131n bir zincir <br \/> Sar\u0131 ve ince b\u0131y\u0131klar\u0131m <br \/> Tam Ruhi Bey b\u0131y\u0131\u011f\u0131yd\u0131 <br \/> Ve iki parma\u011f\u0131n aras\u0131nda bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek sap\u0131 <br \/> &#8211; Zakkum muydu, de\u011fil miydi, belki yazpat\u0131 &#8211; <br \/> Boynumda menek\u015fe rengi bir papyon <br \/> Hafif\u00e7e sark\u0131k <br \/> Duda\u011f\u0131mda bitti bitecek bir sigara <br \/> Kenar\u0131nda duda\u011f\u0131m\u0131n <br \/> D\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131m. <br \/> T\u00fcnele bindim, Asmal\u0131mescit&#8217;teki Viyana lokantas\u0131na geldim. <br \/> Avusturyal\u0131 kar\u0131 koca beni kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131lar <br \/> \u0130kisi de e\u011filerek ben dimdik durduk\u00e7a onlar bir kez daha e\u011filerek beni <br \/> kar\u015f\u0131lad\u0131lar <br \/> Benden ba\u015fka olduk\u00e7a \u015fi\u015fman iki adam daha vard\u0131. Beyaz Ruslardand\u0131lar, g\u00f6zleri <br \/> necef ta\u015f\u0131 gibi sert ve parlakt\u0131 <br \/> Tezgahta bir Leh Yahudisi votka i\u00e7iyordu, y\u00fcz\u00fcndeki ince damarlar f\u0131r\u00e7ayla <br \/> \u00e7izilmi\u015f gibiydi, bir silinip bir canlan\u0131yorlard\u0131. <br \/> So\u011fuk et getirdiler bana, omlet, bira filan getirdiler <br \/> \u00dcst\u00fcne kremal\u0131 ahududu getirdiler, lik\u00f6rle kahve getirdiler <br \/> \u00c7\u0131karken bolca bah\u015fi\u015f b\u0131rakt\u0131m. <br \/> Markiz&#8217;e u\u011frad\u0131m, d\u00f6rt mevsimden s\u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f bir konyak i\u00e7tim <br \/> D\u00fczeltip arada bir b\u0131y\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131 <br \/> U\u00e7lar\u0131 hafif\u00e7e \u0131slak <br \/> Bir ara pencere cam\u0131nda kendime bakt\u0131m <br \/> Bakt\u0131m ki, ben Ruhi Bey <br \/> Nas\u0131l olan Ruhi Bey <br \/> Daha nas\u0131l\u0131m. <\/p>\n<p> Oradan Galatasaray&#8217;a kadar y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fcm <br \/> Bir kad\u0131n\u0131n pembe beyaz teni da\u011f\u0131l\u0131p u\u00e7u\u015farak <br \/> Gezindi ortal\u0131kta bir s\u00fcre <br \/> Ve durdum <br \/> Durdum bu g\u00fczel yaz ikindisinden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p <br \/> Bamba\u015fka bir sonbahar sabah\u0131n\u0131 giyinceye kadar Nas\u0131l\u0131m. <\/p>\n<p> VI <\/p>\n<p> Nas\u0131l olacaks\u0131n\u0131z Ruhi Bey <br \/> Bug\u00fcn de erkencisiniz Ruhi Bey <br \/> \u015earapla bira m\u0131 i\u00e7iyorsunuz Ruhi Bey <br \/> B\u00f6yle sabah sabah Ruhi Bey <br \/> Ak\u015fam ak\u015fam Ruhi Bey <br \/> Ak\u015fam sabah Ruhi Bey <br \/> C\u0131gara al\u0131r m\u0131yd\u0131n\u0131z Ruhi Bey <br \/> Yakal\u0131m Ruhi Bey, yakal\u0131m <br \/> B\u00f6yle \u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcyor musunuz Ruhi Bey <br \/> Benim de ayakkab\u0131lar\u0131m su al\u0131yor Ruhi Bey <br \/> Ne olur ne olmaz <br \/> \u00d6n\u00fcm\u00fcz k\u0131\u015f Ruhi Bey <br \/> Ee, daha nas\u0131ls\u0131n\u0131z Ruhi Bey <br \/> &#8211; \u0130yiyim, iyiyim. <\/p>\n<p> (Gelsem gelsem bir solgunluktan gelirim <br \/> K\u0131zg\u0131n bir sardunyan\u0131n \u00fcstelik \u00fcvey \u00e7ocu\u011fu <br \/> Pembe pembe azarlan\u0131r\u0131m <br \/> O \u00f6l\u00fcr ben azarlan\u0131r\u0131m <br \/> Kocaman bir konakta uzar\u0131m k\u0131sal\u0131r\u0131m <br \/> Ellerim t\u0131rnaklar\u0131m <br \/> Yeni k\u0131rp\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir koyun derisi gibi pespembe <br \/> Ve s\u0131cak <br \/> G\u00f6zlerim, g\u00f6zlerim benim <br \/> Denizi ilk defa g\u00f6ren bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun <br \/> Birdenbire ya\u015flanmas\u0131 neyse.) <\/p>\n<p> Sizinle g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015felim Ruhi Bey <br \/> Vaktim yok, vaktim yok <br \/> Ruhi Bey, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015felim <br \/> Vaktim yok g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fmeye kimseyle <br \/> Ruhi Bey <br \/> Kendimle bile, kendimle bile. <br \/> (Olmaz ki, kimse kimseyi sevemez <br \/> ama hi\u00e7 kimse)<\/p>\n<p>Edip CANSEVER<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 I G\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc hi\u00e7 suyun yanmas\u0131n\u0131 tuzda G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ben bu ya\u015fam boyu iniltiyi B\u00fcy\u00fck bah\u00e7elerin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck i\u00e7inde Saks\u0131lardan birinde G\u00f6rd\u00fcm de Uyurken uyand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi Beni bir sardunya b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc belki. O ben ki Bir kad\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuk hayaleti mi Bir \u00e7ocukta bir kad\u0131n hayaleti mi Yaln\u0131zca bir hayalet mi yoksa. Ne peki Yere d\u00f6k\u00fclen bir [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-650","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-edip-cansever"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.9 (Yoast SEO v24.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>BEN RUH\u0130 BEY NASILIM? - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2009\/04\/16\/ben-ruhi-bey-nasilim\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"BEN RUH\u0130 BEY NASILIM?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0 I G\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc hi\u00e7 suyun yanmas\u0131n\u0131 tuzda G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ben bu ya\u015fam boyu iniltiyi B\u00fcy\u00fck bah\u00e7elerin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck i\u00e7inde Saks\u0131lardan birinde G\u00f6rd\u00fcm de Uyurken uyand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi Beni bir sardunya b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc belki. 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- narteks.net","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2009\/04\/16\/ben-ruhi-bey-nasilim\/","og_locale":"tr_TR","og_type":"article","og_title":"BEN RUH\u0130 BEY NASILIM?","og_description":"\u00a0 I G\u00f6rd\u00fcn m\u00fc hi\u00e7 suyun yanmas\u0131n\u0131 tuzda G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ben bu ya\u015fam boyu iniltiyi B\u00fcy\u00fck bah\u00e7elerin k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck i\u00e7inde Saks\u0131lardan birinde G\u00f6rd\u00fcm de Uyurken uyand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f gibi Beni bir sardunya b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc belki. O ben ki Bir kad\u0131nda bir \u00e7ocuk hayaleti mi Bir \u00e7ocukta bir kad\u0131n hayaleti mi Yaln\u0131zca bir hayalet mi yoksa. 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