{"id":6895,"date":"2012-08-27T11:11:37","date_gmt":"2012-08-27T08:11:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2012\/08\/27\/bir-sapkinlik-olarak-annelik-estela-welldon\/"},"modified":"2012-08-27T11:11:37","modified_gmt":"2012-08-27T08:11:37","slug":"bir-sapkinlik-olarak-annelik-estela-welldon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2012\/08\/27\/bir-sapkinlik-olarak-annelik-estela-welldon\/","title":{"rendered":"Bir sapk\u0131nl\u0131k olarak annelik | Estela Welldon"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tuhaf gelse de annelik, kimi kad\u0131n\u0131n eline, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 sapk\u0131n ve sapt\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 tutumlar tak\u0131nmak ve kendi annesine misilleme yapmak i\u00e7in m\u00fckemmel bir ara\u00e7 verir. Normal \u00e7ocuk geli\u015fiminin \u00f6ncelikle sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir annelik tutumu\u00adna dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131l\u0131r. Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 annelik tutumunda, anne, bebe\u011fi\u00adne bakmaktan ve bebe\u011fin kendi e\u015fsiz \u00f6zelliklerini ta\u015f\u0131yan, ba\u011f\u0131m\u00ads\u0131z ve kendinden emin bir insan olarak yeti\u015fmesine yard\u0131mc\u0131 olma s\u00fcrecinden b\u00fcy\u00fck haz duyar. (Winnicott, (1965), bebeklerin ancak \u201cyeterince iyi annelik\u201d sayesinde \u201cger\u00e7ek benlik\u201dine kavu\u015fabile\u00adce\u011fini s\u00f6yler.) Ne yaz\u0131k ki bunu s\u00f6ylemesi kolay, ama yapmas\u0131 zor\u00addur; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc anne de bir annenin k\u0131z\u0131d\u0131r, ve bu annenin de kendisine ait \u00e7ok say\u0131da erken ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131 ve travmalar\u0131 olabilir. Chodorow\u2019un ifadesiyle, \u201ckad\u0131nlar\u0131n anneli\u011fi, ku\u015faklar boyunca \u00fcretilir\u201d (1978, s. 3). Blum da ona kat\u0131l\u0131r ve \u015f\u00f6yle der: \u201cAnne, \u00e7ocu\u011fun mutlak ba\u00ad\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 sona erdikten sonra, bir sonraki ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131n yeti\u015fkinlik ya\u015fa\u00adm\u0131nda da b\u00fcy\u00fckanneli\u011fin annelik \u00f6zelliklerinde de annelik yapma\u00ady\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcr\u201d (1980, s. 95).<\/p>\n

Psikanalizde \u201csapk\u0131nl\u0131k\u201d s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, yaln\u0131zca cinsellikle ili\u015fkili olarak kullan\u0131l\u0131r, ama Laplanche ve Pontalis\u2019in belirtti\u011fi gibi, terim, Freud\u2019dan \u00f6nce, \u201ci\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fc sapmalar\u0131\u201dn\u0131 g\u00f6stermek i\u00e7in kullan\u0131l\u0131yor\u00addu. Yine Laplanche ve Pontalis\u2019e g\u00f6re, \u201ci\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fclerin \u00e7o\u011fullu\u011funu kabul eden yazarlar, sapk\u0131nl\u0131k kategorisini \u00e7ok geni\u015f tutmak ve ona \u00e7ok say\u0131da bi\u00e7im vermek zorundad\u0131rlar, \u00f6rne\u011fin: \u201cahl\u00e2k duygusu\u201d sapk\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131 (su\u00e7luluk), \u201ctoplumsal i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fc\u201d sapk\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131 (fahi\u015fe\u00adlik), \u201cbeslenme i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fc\u201d sapk\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131 (a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 yeme, alkol d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc)\u201d (1973, s. 307).<\/p>\n

Yine de i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fc kavram\u0131n\u0131n beslenme ve al\u00adkol d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcndeki gibi kullan\u0131mlara kadar geni\u015fletildi\u011finin g\u00f6r\u00fclebilmesine kar\u015f\u0131n, \u201cnormal\u201dde \u00e7ok yayg\u0131n ve rastgele kullan\u0131lan bir terim olan \u201cannelik i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fc\u201dn\u00fcn sapk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan s\u00f6z edilme\u00admesi tuhaft\u0131r. Bir ba\u015fka deyi\u015fle, \u201csapk\u0131n annelik\u201d neredeyse hi\u00e7 kabul edilmemi\u015ftir. Bu durumun bir istisnas\u0131na J.N. Rosen\u2019da rast\u00adlan\u0131r; Rosen, \u00e7ok etkileyici bi\u00e7imde \u015f\u00f6yle demi\u015ftir:<\/p>\n

Annelik i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fc sapk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 kavram\u0131, \u015fizofreninin etiyolojisi hakk\u0131nda g\u00f6zlemledi\u011fim b\u00fct\u00fcn ger\u00e7eklere uyar. \u015eizofreni hastalar\u0131n\u0131n anneleri\u00adnin davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131na da uyar, psikotik hastalardan elde edilen malzeme\u00adye de uyar ve biyolojik bir yasa olan her i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcn\u00fcn kendisini ifade ederken sapk\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa t\u00e2bi olabilmesine de uyar. T\u00fcrl\u00fc \u00e7e\u015fitli i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcleri g\u00f6zden ge\u00e7irdikten sonra, bu yasaya t\u00e2bi olmayan tek bir i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fc d\u00fc\u00ad\u015f\u00fcnemiyorum. Sapk\u0131nl\u0131k ad\u0131n\u0131 verdi\u011fimiz hatal\u0131 ama\u00e7-nesne ili\u015fkisine uyacak bi\u00e7imde y\u00f6n de\u011fi\u015ftirmeyecek tek bir i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fc d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnemiyorum. Bebe\u011finin ni\u00e7in a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flayan ve bebe\u011fi yeniden ho\u015fnutluk d\u00fcnyas\u0131na d\u00f6nd\u00fcrmeye olanak veren ilahi al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131kla \u00f6d\u00fcl\u00adlendirilmemi\u015f sapk\u0131n anne, \u00e7ocu\u011funu zehirler. Ama \u00e7ocuk b\u00fcy\u00fcmek zorundad\u0131r ve annede sapk\u0131n bir annelik i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fc varsa, \u00e7ocuk daha en ba\u015ftan itibaren zay\u0131flam\u0131\u015f bir psikoseks\u00fcel temel \u00fczerine in\u015fa edil\u00admek zorunda kal\u0131r. (1953, ss. 100-1).<\/p>\n

Rosen, \u015fizofreninin etiyolojisi ve \u201csapk\u0131n anne\u201dnin etkilerinden za\u00adrar g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f bebe\u011fi\/yeti\u015fkini anlamakla ilgilenirken, ben sapk\u0131n anenin davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla ilgileniyorum.<\/p>\n

Bu b\u00f6l\u00fcmde, bir sapk\u0131nl\u0131k olarak anneli\u011fe ve bunun sonu\u00e7lar\u0131\u00adna ili\u015fkin bulgular ele al\u0131nmaktad\u0131r. Bu yorumlar, klinik malzeme\u00adlerle desteklenmektedir.<\/p>\n

Bu s\u00fcreci a\u00e7\u0131klamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rken iki ayr\u0131 dizi kan\u0131ttan yararlana\u00adca\u011f\u0131m. \u0130lk dizide, annesiyle ilk \u00e7ocukluk ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 anlatan ve o d\u00f6nemde ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ku\u015fat\u0131lmay\u0131 ve ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 aktar\u0131mlar\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda yeniden ya\u015fayan yeti\u015fkin erkek hastalar var. Bunlar, kendi ge\u00e7mi\u015f ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 yeniden ya\u015fama ge\u00e7irmesini ya da canland\u0131rmas\u0131n\u0131 te\u00adrapistten beklerler. Bu ba\u011flamda, normal bebek geli\u015fiminde \u201csembiyoz\u201d (ortak ya\u015fam) ve \u201cayr\u0131lma\/bireyle\u015fme\u201d devreleri hakk\u0131nda Mahler\u2019in (1963) ve \u201c\u00e7ekirdek kompleks\u201d konusunda Glasser\u2019in (1979) \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131ndan bilgi alabiliriz.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ekirdek kompleksinde, bir ba\u015fka insanla en \u00f6zel yak\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa dair derine yerle\u015fmi\u015f ve yayg\u0131n bir \u00f6zlem duyulur ve bu \u00f6zlem, \u201cbirle\u015fme\u201dye, bir \u201cbirlik durumu\u201dna, \u201cmutlu bir birlik\u201de kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k gelir. Bu, asla ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmez, bunun ne\u00addeni k\u0131smen, b\u00f6yle bir insan\u0131n bir ba\u015fkas\u0131na duygusal a\u00e7\u0131dan yak\u0131n olma f\u0131rsat\u0131 oldu\u011funda kimli\u011fini tehdit alt\u0131nda hissederek geri \u00e7e\u00adkilmesidir (ss. 278-80). Aktar\u0131m s\u00fcrecinde bu, \u00e7ok belirgindir. S\u00f6z konusu s\u00fcre\u00e7te, hasta, ne kendisinden ayr\u0131lmas\u0131na ne de bireyle\u015f\u00admesine izin veren annesiyle ba\u015flayan bir birle\u015fme tahayy\u00fcl\u00fcn\u00fc ye\u00adniden ya\u015fama ge\u00e7irir. Bence bu birle\u015fme arzusu, Klein\u2019\u0131n varsayd\u0131\u00ad\u011f\u0131 gibi, k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011fa kar\u015f\u0131 bir savunma de\u011fildir, aksine, Hopper\u2019in (1986) \u00f6ne s\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi, cinsel g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc yitirme korkusuna ya da yok edilme ve \u00e7aresizlikle ili\u015fkili kayg\u0131lara kar\u015f\u0131 bir savunmad\u0131r; ve k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan gelmesi ya da k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131ktan kaynaklan\u00admas\u0131 ne kadar olas\u0131ysa, ondan \u00d6nce gelmesi ya da ona yol a\u00e7mas\u0131 da o kadar olas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\u0130kinci dizide, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131yla ili\u015fkilerinden s\u00f6z eden ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 \u00fczerindeki g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc ve denetimini nas\u0131l k\u00f6t\u00fcye kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlatan sapk\u0131n kad\u0131n hastalar vard\u0131r. Annenin ak\u0131l sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ocu\u011funun geli\u00ad\u015fimi a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli bir etken olarak tekrar tekrar kendini g\u00f6sterir. Bu konuda Greenson\u2019un anlatt\u0131klar\u0131 \u00f6nemlidir. Greenson, be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ndaki transseks\u00fcel-travesti bir erkek \u00e7ocu\u011fuyla \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 \u015f\u00f6yle betimler:<\/p>\n

Kad\u0131n\u0131n toplumsal-cinsel kimli\u011finden emin olmas\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6klerinin de er\u00adke\u011fin kendi toplumsal-cinsiyet kimli\u011fi konusunda duydu\u011fu g\u00fcvensiz\u00adli\u011fin k\u00f6klerinin de anneyle ilk \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmede oldu\u011funa inan\u0131yorum \u2026 Anne, bu \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmemeye yol a\u00e7an ya da \u00f6nlenen konumda olabilir ve baba da kar\u015f\u0131 \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmede ayn\u0131 \u015feyi yapar \u2026 Erkek \u00e7ocuk anneyle \u00f6z\u00adde\u015fle\u015fmenin sa\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 hazdan ve g\u00fcven sa\u011flayan yak\u0131nl\u0131ktan vazge\u00e7\u00admeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131, daha az eri\u015filebilir durumdaki babayla \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmelidir \u2026 Anne o\u011flunun baba ki\u015fili\u011fiyle \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmesine izin vermeye is\u00adtekli olmal\u0131d\u0131r. (1968, ss. 371 ve sonras\u0131, vurgular bana ait)<\/p>\n

Greenacre (1960) ve Mahler (1968), baban\u0131n, \u00e7ocu\u011fun annesiyle sembiyozu \u00e7\u00f6zmesine yard\u0131m etmedeki rol\u00fcne dikkat \u00e7ekmi\u015flerdir. Baba ayr\u0131lma ve bireyle\u015fmeyi sa\u011flayan ki\u015fidir; ayr\u0131lma\/bireyle\u015fme s\u00fcrecini kolayla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Loevvald, \u00d6dip \u00f6ncesi d\u00f6nemdeki \u00e7ocu\u011fun anne taraf\u0131ndan yeniden ku\u015fat\u0131lma tehdidine kar\u015f\u0131 olumlu destekleyici g\u00fcc\u00fc olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcr baban\u0131n rol\u00fcn\u00fc: \u201cAnne taraf\u0131ndan ku\u015fat\u0131lma tehdidi kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, baban\u0131n konumu bir di\u011fer tehdit ya da tehlike olu\u015fturmaz, etkili bir g\u00fcc\u00fcn deste\u011fini olu\u015fturur\u201d (1951, s. 15).<\/p>\n

Rascovsky ve Rascovsky, daha 1968\u2032de, ki\u015finin kendi \u00e7ocu\u011fu\u00adnu \u00f6ld\u00fcrmesini konu alan ve art\u0131k bir klasik haline gelen \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma\u00adlar\u0131nda, ana-baban\u0131n baz\u0131 hareketlerindeki a\u015f\u0131r\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131n bebe\u011fe \u00e7o\u011fu kez ciddi zararlar verdi\u011fine dikkatimizi \u00e7ekmi\u015flerdi. Bu zararlar\u00addan baz\u0131lar\u0131 \u201chamilelik ve do\u011fumun iyiden k\u00f6t\u00fcye do\u011fru travmatik de\u011fi\u015fiklikler g\u00f6stermesi, s\u00fcnnet, do\u011fal ya da yapay emzirmenin verdi\u011fi rahats\u0131zl\u0131klar ve \u00f6zellikle de terk edilmenin nicel ve nitel de\u011fi\u015fkenleri\u201dydi. Ad\u0131 ge\u00e7en yazarlar, bu alan\u0131n psikanalitik litera\u00adt\u00fcrde yads\u0131nmas\u0131n\u0131n \u201cku\u015fkusuz y\u00fczle\u015femeyece\u011fimiz kadar korkun\u00e7 ve tuhaf bir ger\u00e7ek olan, annenin kendi \u00e7ocu\u011funu \u00f6ld\u00fcrme d\u00fcrt\u00fcle\u00adrinin kabul edilmesine kar\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6sterilen evrensel direncin bir y\u00f6n\u00fc\u201d olarak g\u00f6r\u00fclebilece\u011fini belirtmi\u015flerdi (1968, s. 390, vurgular bana ait).<\/p>\n

Ayn\u0131 yazarlar daha sonraki bir \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131nda bebeklerin do\u00ad\u011fu\u015ftan gelen sald\u0131rganl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ana-baba tavr\u0131n\u0131n belirleyici rol\u00fcn\u00fc vurgularlar ve insan\u0131n annesini ya da babas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fcrmesinin, \u201cken\u00addi \u00e7ocu\u011funu \u00f6ld\u00fcrme davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n bir sonu olarak kabul edilmesi gerekti\u011fini ve birincil k\u00f6keninin de bebe\u011fin ana-babas\u0131n\u0131n sald\u0131rganl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmesine atfedilmesi gerekti\u011fini\u201d \u00f6ne s\u00fcrerler.(1972, s. 271).<\/p>\n

Rascovskylerin bize an\u0131msatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir ba\u015fka ger\u00e7ek de, ana-babalar\u0131n \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 \u201cerken ya\u015fta ya da s\u00fcrekli olarak (erk etme, zihinsel ya da fiziksel ceza, eziyet, fiziksel ya da s\u00f6zl\u00fc sald\u0131r\u0131lar, [ve] ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmeye kar\u015f\u0131 kay\u0131ts\u0131zl\u0131k\u201d gibi etkin ya da edil\u00adgen tutumlarla ifade etti\u011fi y\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flard\u0131r (s. 272). Yazarlar, bu davran\u0131\u015flardan etkilenen \u00e7ocu\u011fun s\u00f6z\u00fc edilen ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131, fantezide de\u011fil ger\u00e7ek ebeveynlerle \u00e7ok yak\u0131ndan ili\u015fkili cezaland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 i\u00e7 nesneler olarak i\u00e7 ger\u00e7ekli\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc de eklerler.<\/p>\n

Ne var ki \u00e7ocu\u011funu \u00f6ld\u00fcrmek \u00e7ok eskiden beri bilinen bir \u015feydir ve k\u0131smen, ana-baban\u0131n kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k duygu ve d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleriyle ilgilidir. Blum\u2019un belirtti\u011fi gibi, \u201cbebek \u00f6ld\u00fcrmenin ya da \u00e7ocuk kurban et\u00admenin, k\u00f6t\u00fc davran\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bebek ve h\u0131rpalanm\u0131\u015f \u00e7ocukta g\u00f6r\u00fclen t\u00fc\u00adrev ifadelerinin b\u00fct\u00fcn tarihsel ve psikolojik an\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmalar\u0131, ancak bu y\u00fczy\u0131lda; yani \u00e7ocu\u011fun ya da psikanalizin y\u00fczy\u0131l\u0131 diyece\u011fimiz d\u00f6nemde derinlemesine incelenmi\u015ftir \u2026 Psikanaliz asl\u0131nda \u00e7ocuk\u00adlar ve ana-babalardaki evrensel ensest \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n\u0131n ke\u015ffedilme\u00adsinden \u00f6nce, \u00e7ocuk tacizinin incelenmesiyle ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r.\u201d Blum, ayr\u0131ca, \u201c\u00e7ocu\u011fun toplumsalla\u015fma gereksinimlerinin ana-baban\u0131n antisosyal d\u00fcrt\u00fclerini bo\u015faltmas\u0131 i\u00e7in bir hedef olarak kolayca kul\u00adlan\u0131labilece\u011fini\u201d \u00f6ne s\u00fcrer \u2026 \u201cSonsuz g\u00fcce sahip olan ana-baba, \u00e7ocukla girdi\u011fi g\u00fc\u00e7 \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131nda yengi kazanaca\u011f\u0131ndan emin ola\u00adbilir\u201d (1980, ss. 109-10).<\/p>\n

Benedek\u2019e g\u00f6re, \u201cAnnelikteki bozukluk, sembiyotik ili\u015fkiyi bir k\u0131s\u0131r d\u00f6ng\u00fcye d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrebilir. Bu, nesnelerin ve benlik simgelerinin, sald\u0131rgan ruhsal enerjiyle y\u00fcklenmi\u015f \u00e7ocu\u011fun i\u00e7inde d\u0131\u015f ger\u00e7eklik\u00adten i\u00e7 ger\u00e7ekli\u011fe d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fclmesine yol a\u00e7ar\u201d (1959, s. 397).<\/p>\n

K\u00f6t\u00fc muameleye maruz kalan bebeklerin, annelerinin k\u00f6t\u00fc dav\u00adran\u0131\u015flar\u0131na nas\u0131l tamamlay\u0131c\u0131 bir bi\u00e7imde tepki verdi\u011fini g\u00f6rmek \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r: G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fe bak\u0131l\u0131rsa bebek bunu hayatta kalmak i\u00e7in ya\u00adpar. Annesini ve dolay\u0131s\u0131yla kendi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yitirmekten korkar. Blum (1980), bu ama\u00e7 do\u011frultusunda Kernberg\u2019in (1975) betimle\u00addi\u011fi par\u00e7alanma d\u00fczene\u011fini \u015f\u00f6yle anlar: \u201c\u00c7ocuk cezaland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ana-babay\u0131, savunmac\u0131 bir bi\u00e7imde idealle\u015ftirebilir ya da bir \u2018iyi nesne\u2019 imgesinden par\u00e7alayarak ay\u0131r\u0131r. Al\u00e7alt\u0131lan cezaland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 ana-babayla \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015ftirilen \u2018al\u00e7alt\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, k\u00f6t\u00fc benlik\u2019, genellikle bast\u0131r\u0131l\u0131r. \u00c7eli\u015fkili ego idealleri, bilin\u00e7te tutars\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131n tam anlam\u0131yla fark\u0131nda olmaktan savunucu bi\u00e7imde sak\u0131n\u0131lan \u2018dikey par\u00e7alanma\u2019da s\u00fcrd\u00fc\u00adr\u00fclebilir\u201d (Blum, s. 111). Ne de olsa \u00e7ocuk, hayatta kalmak i\u00e7in ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta ana-baba taraf\u0131ndan sa\u011flanan bir \u201cyard\u0131mc\u0131 ego\u201dya (Spitz, 1946, 1951) dayan\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Bu, ana-baba-\u00e7ocuk ili\u015fkisinin etkile\u00adriyle ilgili pek \u00e7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmada g\u00f6zlenmi\u015ftir (Bak\u0131n\u0131z \u00f6rne\u011fin, Bowlby, 1951, 1958; Bowlby ve ark., 1956; Burlingham ve Freud, 1943).<\/p>\n

Benzer bir s\u00fcre\u00e7, s\u0131n\u0131r ki\u015fili\u011fin etiyolojisinde annenin rol\u00fc\u00adn\u00fc anlatan Masterson ve Rinsley (1975) taraf\u0131ndan betimlenmi\u015ftir. Yazarlar, annenin cinsel i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fcn eri\u015filebilirli\u011fi (\u00f6d\u00fcl) ile bu\u00adnun ayr\u0131lma\/bireyle\u015fme d\u00f6neminde geri al\u0131nmas\u0131 aras\u0131ndaki de\u011fi\u015fi\u00admin bebek \u00fczerindeki etkilerini vurgularlar. Gelecekte s\u0131n\u0131r ki\u015filik olacak bebek, annesinin \u00f6d\u00fcllerine ayr\u0131lmay\u0131 reddederek tepki ve\u00adrir. Yaln\u0131zca bu bile, \u00e7ocu\u011fun anne yar\u0131 nesnesiyle yeniden birle\u015f\u00adme hayallerini ifade etti\u011fini do\u011frular ve e\u011fer \u00e7ocuk bireyle\u015fme ce\u00adsaretini g\u00f6sterirse, terk edilme korkular\u0131n\u0131 ve ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 destek\u00adler. Lothstein (1979) benzer bulgular elde etmi\u015ftir. Lothstein, kad\u0131n ve erkek transseks\u00fcellerin annelerine ili\u015fkin \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131nda, trans-seks\u00fcelli\u011fin etiyolojisinde annenin rol\u00fcn\u00fc vurgular: \u201cBu anneler, o\u011flunun kendinden ayr\u0131lmas\u0131na ve erkek \u00f6zde\u015flemesiyle bireyle\u015f\u00admesine katlanamazlar ve o\u011fluyla ili\u015fkisini o\u011flunun kad\u0131n \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015f\u00admesi \u00fczerinden s\u00fcrd\u00fcr\u00fcrler. Erkek \u00e7ocu\u011fun cinsiyet ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ken\u00addi ki\u015fisel b\u00fct\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne bir tehdit olarak alg\u0131l\u0131yor gibidirler.\u201d Loths\u00adtein, transseks\u00fcel olan k\u0131z \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n yeti\u015ftirilmesinde i\u015f g\u00f6ren bir s\u00fcreci de \u015f\u00f6yle betimler:<\/p>\n

Bu anneler k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n uzun s\u00fcreli ve s\u00fcregiden \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmesini de kendi ki\u00ad\u015fisel b\u00fct\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne bir tehdit olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcr. K\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 kad\u0131n \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmesinin d\u0131\u015f\u0131na etkin bi\u00e7imde iterek kendini sembiyotik birle\u015fmeye ve gerileme\u00adye kar\u015f\u0131 koruyor gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrler. Klinik verilerimiz, k\u0131z \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n erkeklerle \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fmesinin de hem kendilerinin hem de annelerinin birbirlerini \u00f6ld\u00fcrme iste\u011fini ortadan kald\u0131rmay\u0131 ama\u00e7lad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in, k\u0131s-menrsqvunmac\u0131 olabilece\u011fini \u00f6ne s\u00fcrer. (s. 221)<\/p>\n

Lothstein, daha sonra annenin \u201c\u00e7ocu\u011funun toplumsal-cinsiyet kim\u00adliklerinden birini bozma e\u011filiminin, \u00e7ocu\u011fun cinselli\u011finin, kendi evlili\u011findeki s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar kendi annesiyle o s\u0131ralardaki ili\u015fkisi ve kendi i\u00e7indeki biseks\u00fcel \u00e7at\u0131\u015fman\u0131n bir i\u015flevi olarak de\u011fi\u015fiklik g\u00f6sterece\u011fi\u201d varsay\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ne s\u00fcrer (s. 222, vurgu bana ait). Bu \u00e7ocuklar yatta kalman\u0131n tek yolu olarak annesinin isteklerine, uyarlar ve b\u00f6ylece, yap\u0131sal ego bozukluklar\u0131 ve ego zay\u0131fl\u0131klar\u0131 olan sahte bir benlik duygusu yarat\u0131rlar.<\/p>\n

Benedek\u2019in ifadesiyle, \u201cPsikanaliz, ana-babalar\u0131n, \u00e7ocu\u011fun davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 ve bilin\u00e7siz g\u00fcd\u00fclenmelerini tahmin ederek \u00e7ocukla\u00adrla kar\u015f\u0131 kendi bilin\u00e7d\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00fcd\u00fclenmelerinin fark\u0131na varmaya ba\u015flad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6sterir \u2026 \u00d6yle g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor ki, ana-babalar ve \u00e7ocuklar t\u0131pk\u0131 paranoitler gibi kayg\u0131yla \u00f6ng\u00f6rd\u00fckleri ve ka\u00e7\u0131nmay\u0131 ama\u00e7 la\u00adklar\u0131 \u015feylere ula\u015f\u0131yorlar\u201d (1959, s. 406).<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklu\u011funda kendi s\u00fcperegosuna boyun e\u011fen cezaland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 bir neyle m\u00fccadele etmi\u015f olan kad\u0131n, sald\u0131rgan anneyle \u00f6zde\u015fle\u015fir ve nu d\u00fc\u015f k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na u\u011fratan ve yoksun b\u0131rakan \u00e7ocu\u011fa kolayl\u0131kla sald\u0131rabilir (Steele, 1970). Kad\u0131n, annelik yapmas\u0131 i\u00e7in gereken bilin\u00e7siz g\u00fcd\u00fclenmelerini \u00e7ocu\u011funun kar\u015f\u0131lamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hisseder.<\/p>\n

\u015eimdi bu s\u00fcrecin i\u015flenmemi\u015f psikolojik temelini, bildi\u011fimiz \u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fam a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan inceleyelim. Hatalar\u0131m\u0131zdan ders ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z genel olarak kabul edilir; ama i\u015fin o kadar kolay fark edilmeyen yan\u0131, \u201chatalar\u201d\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131n erken devrelerinde ge\u00e7irdi\u011fimiz ya\u015fant\u0131larla bilin\u00e7siz bir bi\u00e7imde ba\u011flant\u0131l\u0131 oldu\u011fudur. Bu nedenle ya\u015fam\u0131m\u0131zda birdenbire ve beklenmedik bir bi\u00e7imde ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131veren s\u00f6zlerin ya da eylemlerin anlam\u0131n\u0131 fark etmeyebiliriz. Bunlar, \u00f6zellikle anne baba oldu\u011fumuzda \u00fczerimizde g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc etkiler yapar. Kendimize ili\u015fkin zihinsel simgelerimize yabanc\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 hisseder e onlar\u0131 yitirmekten korkar\u0131z. \u00d6rne\u011fin, kendi ana-babas\u0131yla ac\u0131 olu ve a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lay\u0131c\u0131 ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131 olan insanlar, kendileri, asla b\u00f6yle davranmamaya gizlice s\u00f6z vermi\u015flerdir. Ne var ki bilin\u00e7d\u0131\u015f\u0131 bize ac\u0131mas\u0131zca oyunlar oynar ve i\u00e7imizden bize ait oldu\u011funu fark etmedi\u011fimiz bir \u015fey hi\u00e7bir uyar\u0131da bulunmadan ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p bizi gafil avlar. Bunun ana-babam\u0131zdan geldi\u011fine inan\u0131r\u0131z. Annemizin ya da babam\u0131z\u0131n ka\u00e7\u0131nmak i\u00e7in o kadar \u00f6zenle \u00e7aba harcad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o korkun\u00e7 sesi ya da eylemi, kendi \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131zla ili\u015fkilerimizde b\u00fcy\u00fck bir g\u00fc\u00e7le kendini yeniden g\u00f6sterir ve o anda su\u00e7luluk ve utan\u00e7 duymaya ba\u015flar\u0131z.<\/p>\n

Kaynak: Anne Melek mi Yosma m\u0131, Ayr\u0131nt\u0131 Yay\u0131nlar\u0131, S. 77-83<\/p>\n

Al\u0131nt\u0131: Sivildenemeler<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tuhaf gelse de annelik, kimi kad\u0131n\u0131n eline, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 sapk\u0131n ve sapt\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 tutumlar tak\u0131nmak ve kendi annesine misilleme yapmak i\u00e7in m\u00fckemmel bir ara\u00e7 verir. Normal \u00e7ocuk geli\u015fiminin \u00f6ncelikle sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir annelik tutumu\u00adna dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131l\u0131r. Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 annelik tutumunda, anne, bebe\u011fi\u00adne bakmaktan ve bebe\u011fin kendi e\u015fsiz \u00f6zelliklerini ta\u015f\u0131yan, ba\u011f\u0131m\u00ads\u0131z ve kendinden emin bir insan olarak yeti\u015fmesine yard\u0131mc\u0131 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[176],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-kadin-a-dair"],"yoast_head":"\nBir sapk\u0131nl\u0131k olarak annelik | Estela Welldon - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2012\/08\/27\/bir-sapkinlik-olarak-annelik-estela-welldon\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bir sapk\u0131nl\u0131k olarak annelik | Estela Welldon\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Tuhaf gelse de annelik, kimi kad\u0131n\u0131n eline, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 sapk\u0131n ve sapt\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 tutumlar tak\u0131nmak ve kendi annesine misilleme yapmak i\u00e7in m\u00fckemmel bir ara\u00e7 verir. Normal \u00e7ocuk geli\u015fiminin \u00f6ncelikle sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir annelik tutumu\u00adna dayand\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131l\u0131r. 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