{"id":7121,"date":"2018-08-07T14:36:43","date_gmt":"2018-08-07T11:36:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2018\/08\/07\/en-ufak-bir-dikkatsizlik-sonucu-zehir-baligin-damarlarina-sizar-bir-aile-yemegi-kazuo-ishiguro\/"},"modified":"2024-04-27T11:26:09","modified_gmt":"2024-04-27T08:26:09","slug":"en-ufak-bir-dikkatsizlik-sonucu-zehir-baligin-damarlarina-sizar-bir-aile-yemegi-kazuo-ishiguro","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/07\/en-ufak-bir-dikkatsizlik-sonucu-zehir-baligin-damarlarina-sizar-bir-aile-yemegi-kazuo-ishiguro\/","title":{"rendered":"En ufak bir dikkatsizlik sonucu zehir bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n damarlar\u0131na s\u0131zar | Bir Aile Yeme\u011fi – Kazuo Ishiguro"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Fugu, Japonya’n\u0131n Pasifik k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131nda avlanan bir bal\u0131kt\u0131r. Annem bu bal\u0131ktan yiyerek \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden beri Fugu’nun benim i\u00e7in \u00f6zel bir \u00f6nemi var. Zehir, bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n cinsel salg\u0131 bezlerinde, kolayca zedelenebilen iki ince kesenin i\u00e7inde bulunur. Bal\u0131k temizlenirken bu iki kesenin dikkatle \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekir, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc en ufak bir dikkatsizlik sonucu zehir bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n damarlar\u0131na s\u0131zar… Ne yaz\u0131k ki bu i\u015flemin ba\u015far\u0131yla ya\u00adp\u0131l\u0131p yap\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyebilmek kolay de\u011fildir. Bu i\u015fin kan\u0131t\u0131 ye\u00adme\u011fin sonunda ortaya \u00e7\u0131kar. Annemin ba\u015f\u0131na geldi\u011fi gibi.
\nFugu zehirlenmesi \u00e7ok ac\u0131 verir; \u00e7o\u011funlukla \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcld\u00fcr. Bal\u0131k ak\u015fam yeme\u011finde yenmi\u015fse, ac\u0131 uykusunda yakalar insan\u0131. Kurban birka\u00e7 saat ac\u0131yla k\u0131vran\u0131p durur ve sabah olurken \u00f6l\u00fcr. Bu bal\u0131k Ja\u00adponya’da sava\u015ftan sonra \u00e7ok sevilir oldu. S\u0131k\u0131 kurallar uygulamaya konulana dek, bu tehlikeli kese \u00e7\u0131karma i\u015flemini insanlar\u0131n kendi mutfaklar\u0131nda yap\u0131p kom\u015fular\u0131n\u0131 ziyafete \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmalar\u0131 moda olmu\u015ftu.
\nAnnem \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde Kaliforniya’da ya\u015f\u0131yordum. O s\u0131ralar anne ve babamla ili\u015fkilerim biraz gergindi; bu nedenle iki y\u0131l sonra Tokyo’ya d\u00f6n\u00fcnceye kadar annemin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne ili\u015fkin ayr\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenemedim. Annem hi\u00e7 fugu yemezdi, fakat hat\u0131r\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131ramad\u0131\u011f\u0131 eski bir okul arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131 \u00fczerine bir seferli\u011fine bozmu\u015ftu kural\u0131n\u0131. Havaala\u00adn\u0131ndan eve giderken babam yolda anlatt\u0131 bu ayr\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131. Eve vard\u0131\u011f\u0131\u00adm\u0131zda g\u00fcne\u015fli bir sonbahar g\u00fcn\u00fc sona eriyordu.
\n“U\u00e7akta yemek yedin mi?” diye sordu babam. \u00c7ay odas\u0131nda yer\u00adde oturuyorduk.
\n“Hafif bir yemek verdiler,” dedim.
\n“A\u00e7 olmal\u0131s\u0131n. Kikuko gelir gelmez yeme\u011fe otururuz.”
\nBabam geni\u015f, keskin hatl\u0131 \u00e7enesi ve \u00e7at\u0131k siyah kaslar\u0131yla g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fc heybetli bir adamd\u0131. \u015eimdi ge\u00e7mi\u015fe d\u00f6n\u00fcp d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde onu \u00c7u-En-Lay’a \u00e7ok benzetti\u011fimi an\u0131ms\u0131yorum. Babam b\u00f6yle bir ben\u00adzetmeden ho\u015flanmazd\u0131 herhalde, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ailedeki saf samuray kan\u0131ndan gurur duyard\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 konu\u015fma ortam\u0131ndaki genel g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fc, insan\u0131n rahat bir bi\u00e7imde konu\u015fmas\u0131na cesaret veren t\u00fcrden de\u011fildi. Yorumlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 her \u015feyi konu\u015fmaya nokta koyar havada s\u00f6yleme huyu i\u015fi daha da zorla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda otururken o anda bir \u00e7ocukluk an\u0131s\u0131 canland\u0131 belle\u011fimde: “Ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n gibi d\u0131rd\u0131r etti\u011fim” i\u00e7in birka\u00e7 kez kafama vurmu\u015ftu. Konu\u015fmam\u0131z havaalan\u0131ndan bu yana ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz bi\u00e7imde uzun suskunluklarla b\u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fcyordu. Bir s\u00fcredir ikimiz de konu\u015fmuyorduk.
\n“\u015eirketin ba\u015f\u0131na gelenlere \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcm,” dedim. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceli bi\u00e7imde ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.
\n“Asl\u0131nda \u015firketin \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fc orada bitmedi,” dedi, “\u015firket batt\u0131ktan sonra Watanabe intihar etti. Onursuz ya\u015famak istemedi.”
\n“Anl\u0131yorum.”
\n“On yedi y\u0131ld\u0131r ortakt\u0131k. \u0130lke ve onur sahibi bir insand\u0131. \u00c7ok say\u00adg\u0131 duyard\u0131m ona.”
\n“\u0130\u015f d\u00fcnyas\u0131na geri d\u00f6necek misin?”
\n“Emeklili\u011fimi ya\u015f\u0131yorum. Yeni giri\u015fimlere at\u0131lamayacak kadar ya\u015fl\u0131y\u0131m. Bug\u00fcnlerde i\u015f ya\u015fam\u0131 \u00e7ok farkl\u0131. Yabanc\u0131larla i\u015f yapmak, onlar\u0131n yolunu izlemek… Bu noktaya nas\u0131l geldik, anlam\u0131yorum. Wa- tanabe de anlamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.” \u0130\u00e7 \u00e7ekti. “\u0130yi adamd\u0131, ilke sahibi bir insand\u0131.”
\n\u00c7ay odas\u0131 bah\u00e7eye bak\u0131yordu. \u00c7ocukken hayaletli oldu\u011funa inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m eski kuyuyu oturdu\u011fum yerden, ye\u015fillik katmanlar\u0131 aras\u0131n\u00addan g\u00f6rebiliyordum. G\u00fcne\u015f iyice al\u00e7alm\u0131\u015f ve bah\u00e7enin b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6\u00adl\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6lgede b\u0131rakm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\n“Her neyse, eve d\u00f6nmeye karar vermene sevindim,” dedi babam, “umar\u0131m k\u0131sa bir ziyaret olmaz bu.”
\n“Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 tam olarak bilemiyorum.”
\n“\u00d6ncelikle ge\u00e7mi\u015fi unutmaya haz\u0131r oldu\u011fumu bilmeni isterim. Annen de hep geri gelmeni istemi\u015fti. Davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n huzursuz etmi\u015fti onu.”
\n“\u0130yi dileklerin i\u00e7in te\u015fekk\u00fcrler; dedi\u011fim gibi, ne yapaca\u011f\u0131mdan hen\u00fcz emin de\u011filim.”
\n“D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fck\u00e7e asl\u0131nda k\u00f6t\u00fc niyetle hareket etmedi\u011fin kan\u0131s\u0131na vard\u0131m,” diye s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc babam konu\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131. “Baz\u0131 etkile\u015fimler seni yolundan sapt\u0131rd\u0131; bir\u00e7ok gencin ba\u015f\u0131na geldi\u011fi gibi.”
\n“\u00d6nerdi\u011fin \u00fczere bunlar\u0131 unutsak daha iyi.”
\n“Nas\u0131l istersen. Biraz daha \u00e7ay?”
\nTam o s\u0131rada bir k\u0131z sesi yank\u0131land\u0131 evin i\u00e7inde.
\n“Sonunda Kikuko geldi,” dedi babam aya\u011fa kalkarak.
\nAram\u0131zda ya\u015f fark\u0131 olmas\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131n, k\u0131z karde\u015fim ve ben her za\u00adman birbirimize yak\u0131n olmu\u015ftuk. Beni yeniden g\u00f6rmek onu \u00e7ok he\u00adyecanland\u0131rm\u0131\u015fa benziyordu, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc sinirsel bir k\u0131k\u0131rdama ata\u011f\u0131na ka\u00adp\u0131ld\u0131 bir s\u00fcre. Fakat babam onu Osaka ve \u00fcniversite ya\u015fam\u0131na ili\u015fkin soru ya\u011fmuruna tuttu\u011funda biraz yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131. K\u0131sa ve bi\u00e7imci yan\u0131tlar verdi sorulara. Sonra bana d\u00f6n\u00fcp birka\u00e7 soru sordu, fakat sorular\u0131n istenmeyen konulara yol a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131ndan korkarak sak\u0131n\u0131r gibi bir hali vard\u0131. Az sonra kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 konu\u015fmalar Kikuko’nun geli\u015finden \u00f6nceki dakikalara oranla daha da azald\u0131. Babam aya\u011fa kalkarak, “Yemekle me\u015fgul olmam gerekiyor,” dedi, “bu i\u015fler bana kald\u0131, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n. Ki\u00adkuko ilgilenir seninle.”
\nBabam odadan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca k\u0131z karde\u015fim g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr bi\u00e7imde gev\u015fedi. Birka\u00e7 dakika sonra Osaka’daki arkada\u015flar\u0131ndan ve \u00fcniversitedeki derslerinden s\u00f6z ederek diledi\u011fi gibi konu\u015fuyordu. Sonra birden bah\u00ad\u00e7ede y\u00fcr\u00fcmemizi \u00f6nererek verandaya do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. Orada, bir ke\u00adnarda b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f saman \u00f6rg\u00fcl\u00fc sandallar\u0131 ayaklar\u0131m\u0131za ge\u00e7irip bah\u00e7e\u00adye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131k. G\u00fcne\u015f batmak \u00fczereydi.
\n“Yar\u0131m saattir sigara i\u00e7in k\u0131vran\u0131p duruyorum,” dedi bir sigara yakarak.
\n“Neden i\u00e7medin \u00f6yleyse?”
\nEve do\u011fru bir el hareketi yaparken yaramazca s\u0131r\u0131tt\u0131.
\n“Evet, anl\u0131yorum,” dedim.
\n“Biliyor musun, bir erkek arkada\u015f\u0131m var art\u0131k.”
\n“\u00d6yle mi?”
\n“Fakat ne yapaca\u011f\u0131m konusunda duraks\u0131yorum. Hen\u00fcz karar\u0131m\u0131 vermedim.”
\n“Anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r bir durum bu.”
\n“Amerika’ya gitmek i\u00e7in planlar yap\u0131yor. Ben \u00fcniversiteyi biti\u00adrince beni de g\u00f6t\u00fcrmek istiyor.”
\n“Anl\u0131yorum. Peki sen gitmek istiyor musun?”
\n“Gidersek birilerine tak\u0131laca\u011f\u0131z, yani otostop yapaca\u011f\u0131z.” Ba\u015f\u00adparma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131 Kikuko. “Bunun tehlikeli oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorlar, ama ben Osaka’da yapt\u0131m, bir \u015fey olmad\u0131.”
\n“Senin duraksaman\u0131n nedeni ne?”
\n“Osaka’da \u00e7ok arkada\u015f\u0131m var. Orada ya\u015famaktan ho\u015flan\u0131yorum. Bunlar\u0131n t\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc arkamda b\u0131rak\u0131p gidebilir miyim, hen\u00fcz bilmiyo\u00adrum. Erkek arkada\u015f\u0131m Suichi’ye gelince, evet, ho\u015flan\u0131yorum ondan, ama zaman\u0131m\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funu onunla ge\u00e7irmeyi istedi\u011fimden emin de\u011filim. Anl\u0131yor musun?”
\n“Hem de \u00e7ok iyi.”
\nTekrar s\u0131r\u0131tt\u0131, sonra \u00f6n\u00fcmden y\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcp kuyuya var\u0131ncaya kadar ilerledi. Ben arkas\u0131ndan yeti\u015fti\u011fimde d\u00f6n\u00fcp, “Bu kuyunun hayaletli oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylerdin, an\u0131ms\u0131yor musun?” dedi.
\n“Evet, an\u0131ms\u0131yorum.”
\n\u0130kimiz de kenar\u0131ndan kuyunun i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131k.
\n“Annem o gece g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn \u015feyin sebze pazar\u0131ndaki ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n ol\u00addu\u011funu s\u00f6ylerdi bana,” dedi Kikuko, “fakat ben ona hi\u00e7 inanmad\u0131m ve hi\u00e7bir zaman tek ba\u015f\u0131ma gelmedim buraya.”
\n“Annem bana da ayn\u0131 \u015feyi s\u00f6ylerdi. Hatta o ya\u015fl\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n o gece\u00adki hayaletin kendisi oldu\u011funu kabullendi\u011fini de s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti bana. S\u00f6\u00adz\u00fcm ona kestirmeden gitmek i\u00e7in bizim bah\u00e7eyi se\u00e7mi\u015f. Bu duvarlar\u0131 a\u015farken epey zorlanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r herhalde.”
\nK\u0131k\u0131rdayarak g\u00fcld\u00fc Kikuko, sonra kuyuya s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6n\u00fcp bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 bah\u00e7ede dola\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131.
\n“Annem seni hi\u00e7 su\u00e7lamad\u0131; biliyor musun?” dedi de\u011fi\u015fik bir ses tonuyla. Yan\u0131t vermedim. “Seni iyi yeti\u015ftiremedikleri i\u00e7in kendilerini, yani kendisini ve babam\u0131 kusurlu buldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylerdi bana hep. Beni b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrken daha dikkatli olduklar\u0131n\u0131, bu nedenle de benim \u00e7ok iyi bir evlat oldu\u011fumu da anlat\u0131rd\u0131.” O yaramaz s\u0131r\u0131tmas\u0131 gene geri gelmi\u015fti y\u00fcz\u00fcne. “Zavall\u0131 annem,” dedi.
\n“Evet, zavall\u0131 annemiz.”
\n“Kaliforniya’ya d\u00f6necek misin?”
\n“Bilmiyorum; d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmem gerek.”
\n“K\u0131z arkada\u015f\u0131na ne oldu? Vicky’ye?”
\n“\u0130li\u015fkimiz hepten noktaland\u0131,” dedim. “Kaliforniya’da pek bir \u015fey kalmad\u0131 benim i\u00e7in.”
\n“Sence benim oraya gitmem gerekir mi?”
\n“Bilmem; neden olmas\u0131n? Oray\u0131 seversin herhalde.” Eve do\u011fru bakt\u0131m. “Az sonra i\u00e7eri girsek iyi olur,” dedim, “babam\u0131n yard\u0131ma ih\u00adtiyac\u0131 olabilir.”
\nFakat karde\u015fim bir kez daha kuyunun i\u00e7ine bak\u0131yordu. “Hayalet falan g\u00f6remiyorum,” dedi yank\u0131lanan sesiyle.
\n“\u015eirketin batmas\u0131 babam\u0131 sarst\u0131 m\u0131?”
\n“Bilmiyorum. Kapal\u0131 kutudur babam, belli etmez.” Sonra birden do\u011fruldu ve bana d\u00f6n\u00fcp, “Ya\u015fl\u0131 Watanabe’nin ne yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan s\u00f6z etti mi sana?” dedi.
\n“Onun intihar etti\u011fini s\u00f6yledi.”
\n“Hepsi bu de\u011fil, ailesini de g\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc yan\u0131nda; kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 ve iki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z\u0131n\u0131.”
\n“Sahi mi?”
\n“Hepsi uykudayken havagaz\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f, sonra da bir et b\u0131\u00e7a\u011f\u0131 sap\u00adlam\u0131\u015f karn\u0131na.”
\n“Evet, babam az \u00f6nce Watanabe’nin ilke sahibi bir adam oldu\u011fu\u00adnu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu.”
\n“Hastal\u0131kl\u0131 bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce,” dedi karde\u015fim kuyuya arkas\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nerek.
\n“Dikkat et! Kuyuya d\u00fc\u015feceksin.”
\n“Hayalet falan yok bunun i\u00e7inde; hep yalan s\u00f6yledin bana.”
\n“Hayaletin kuyuda oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemedim ki!”
\n“Nerede \u00f6yleyse?”
\n\u0130kimiz de a\u011fa\u00e7lara ve \u00e7al\u0131lara bakt\u0131k. Bah\u00e7eye karanl\u0131k \u00e7\u00f6kmek \u00fczereydi. Birka\u00e7 metre ilerdeki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6sterdim.
\n“\u0130\u015fte, tam orada g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm.”
\n“Neye benziyordu?”
\n“\u0130yi se\u00e7emedim, karanl\u0131kt\u0131.”
\n“Fakat bir \u015fey g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f olmal\u0131s\u0131n.”
\n“Ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131nd\u0131; orada durmu\u015f bana bak\u0131yordu.”
\n\u0130pnotize olmu\u015f gibi o yere bak\u0131yorduk.
\n“Beyaz bir kimono giymi\u015fti,” dedim, “sa\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n bir k\u0131sm\u0131 da\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, u\u00e7u\u015fuyordu.”
\nKikuko dirse\u011fiyle koluma vurdu. “Sus art\u0131k! Gene beni korkut\u00admaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorsun.” Yere att\u0131\u011f\u0131 sigaras\u0131na bast\u0131; izmaritin \u00fczerine \u00e7amlar\u0131n i\u011fne yapraklar\u0131n\u0131 ittirdi aya\u011f\u0131yla. O yaramaz s\u0131r\u0131tmas\u0131n\u0131 tekrar tak\u0131narak, “Yemek haz\u0131r m\u0131, bakal\u0131m,” dedi.
\nBabam mutfaktayd\u0131; bize \u015f\u00f6yle bir bak\u0131p yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u015fi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc.
\n“Babam\u0131z tek ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u015famaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bu yana iyi bir a\u015f\u00e7\u0131 oldu,” dedi Kikuko g\u00fclerek. Babam d\u00f6nd\u00fc ve so\u011fuk bak\u0131\u015flarla s\u00fczd\u00fc onu.
\n“Hi\u00e7 de gururland\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir beceri de\u011fil bu,” dedi, “gel de yard\u0131m et.”
\nKarde\u015fim bir an hareketsiz kald\u0131, sonra ilerleyip bir \u00e7ekmecede as\u0131l\u0131 duran bir \u00f6nl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc ald\u0131.
\n“Sadece \u015fu sebzeler pi\u015fecek, \u00f6b\u00fcrleri tamam,” dedi babam. Sonra birka\u00e7 saniye bana bakt\u0131. Elindeki \u00e7ubuklar\u0131 tezg\u00e2ha b\u0131rakarak, “Uma\u00adr\u0131m evi gezmek istersin,” dedi arkas\u0131ndan. “G\u00f6rmeyeli epey oldu.”
\nMutfaktan \u00e7\u0131karken d\u00f6n\u00fcp Kikuko’ya bakt\u0131m, fakat arkas\u0131 d\u00f6\u00adn\u00fckt\u00fc.
\n“\u0130yi bir k\u0131z o,” dedi babam yava\u015f\u00e7a.
\nOdadan odaya babam\u0131 izledim. Evin ne kadar b\u00fcy\u00fck oldu\u011funu unutmu\u015ftum. Kayar kap\u0131lar a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131yor, odalar ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu, bo\u015f odalar.
\n“Bu ev tek ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u015fayan biri i\u00e7in \u00e7ok b\u00fcy\u00fck,” dedi babam, “odalar\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funu kullanm\u0131yorum art\u0131k.”
\nDerken babam bir odaya daha girdi. Gazete ve kitaplarla doluydu buras\u0131. Duvarlarda tablolar, vazolarda \u00e7i\u00e7ekler vard\u0131. Odan\u0131n bir k\u00f6\u015fesinde, al\u00e7ak bir masan\u0131n \u00fczerindeki bir \u015fey dikkatimi \u00e7ekti; yak\u00adla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131mda bunun \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u00fcrden plastik bir sava\u015f gemisi modeli oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Bir gazetenin \u00fczerinde duruyordu. \u00c7evre\u00adsinde sa\u011fa sola a\u00e7\u0131lm\u0131\u015f irili ufakl\u0131 gri plastik par\u00e7alar\u0131 vard\u0131.
\nBabam g\u00fcld\u00fc; masan\u0131n yan\u0131na gelip gemiyi eline ald\u0131. “\u015eirketin batmas\u0131ndan bu yana \u00e7ok bo\u015f zaman\u0131m oluyor,” dedi, tekrar g\u00fcld\u00fc; bu kez biraz tuhaft\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc. Bir an ho\u015f bir durgunluk kaplad\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc. “Daha \u00e7ok bo\u015f zaman.”
\n“Bu garip geliyor bana,” dedim, “sen her zaman \u00e7ok me\u015fgul bi\u00adriydin.”
\n“Belki de gere\u011finden fazla me\u015fgul biriydim,” dedi g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek bana bakarken, “belki de daha dikkatli bir baba olmam gerekirdi.”
\nG\u00fcld\u00fcm. Babam d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceli bir tav\u0131rla bir s\u00fcre daha gemi mode\u00adline bakmay\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc, sonra ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rarak, “Sana s\u00f6ylemeyi d\u00fc\u00ad\u015f\u00fcnmemi\u015ftim, ama san\u0131r\u0131m s\u00f6ylesem daha iyi olacak,” dedi. “Annenin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fcn kaza olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131yorum. Onun \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fc \u00e7ok \u015fey vard\u0131; baz\u0131 hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131 da.”
\n\u0130kimiz de plastik gemi modeline bak\u0131yorduk.
\nSonunda, “Herhalde,” dedim, “annem sonsuza dek burada ya\u015fa\u00adyaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131 beklemiyordu.”
\n“Anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n belli. Baz\u0131 ana babalar\u0131n nas\u0131l d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anla\u00adm\u0131yorsun. Olay sadece \u00e7ocuklar\u0131ndan ayr\u0131 kalmaya katlanmak zo\u00adrunda kalmalar\u0131 de\u011fildir; bu zorunlu ise, kendilerinin anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feyler y\u00fcz\u00fcnden ayr\u0131 kalmay\u0131 tercih ederler.”
\nSava\u015f gemisini elinde evirdi, \u00e7evirdi. “Buradaki \u015fu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck gam\u00adbotlar daha iyi yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131labilirdi, de\u011fil mi, ne dersin?”
\n“Belki, bence iyi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor.”
\n“Sava\u015f s\u0131ras\u0131nda bir s\u00fcre buna benzer bir gemideydim. Oysa be\u00adnim g\u00f6z\u00fcm hep hava kuvvetlerindeydi. \u015e\u00f6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm: D\u00fc\u015fman gemimizi vurdu\u011funda yapabilece\u011fin tek \u015fey suda \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131n\u0131p kurtar\u0131lmay\u0131 beklemekti, fakat u\u00e7akta her zaman i\u015f bitiren bir silah vard\u0131.” Gemiyi masaya koydu. “Sava\u015f yanl\u0131s\u0131 oldu\u011funu sanm\u0131yorum.”
\n“Hay\u0131r, sava\u015f bir \u015fey ifade etmiyor bana.”
\nOdaya g\u00f6z atarken, “Yemek haz\u0131r olmal\u0131,” dedi, “a\u00e7s\u0131nd\u0131r herhal\u00adde.”
\nYemek, mutfa\u011f\u0131n yan\u0131ndaki lo\u015f bir odada bekliyordu bizi. Tek \u0131\u015f\u0131k kayna\u011f\u0131 masan\u0131n \u00fczerinde as\u0131l\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck bir lambayd\u0131; odan\u0131n di\u011fer k\u00f6\u015feleri g\u00f6lgede kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yeme\u011fe ba\u015flamadan \u00f6nce ba\u015f e\u011ferek bir\u00adbirimizi selamlad\u0131k.
\n\u00c7ok az konu\u015fuluyordu. Yeme\u011fe ili\u015fkin nazik bir yorum yapt\u0131\u00ad\u011f\u0131mda karde\u015fim k\u0131k\u0131rdad\u0131. Daha \u00f6nceki sinirsel hali geri gelmi\u015f gi\u00adbiydi. Babam birka\u00e7 dakika konu\u015fmad\u0131; sonunda, “\u00dclkeye d\u00f6n\u00fcnce kendini bir garip hissetmi\u015f olmal\u0131s\u0131n,” dedi.
\n“Evet, biraz.”
\n“Belki de Amerika’dan ayr\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7in \u015fimdiden pi\u015fmans\u0131n.”
\n“Biraz, fazla de\u011fil. Arkamda pek bir \u015fey b\u0131rakmad\u0131m; sadece bir\u00adka\u00e7 bo\u015f oda.”
\n“Anl\u0131yorum.”
\nBabam\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131m. Lo\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131kta ta\u015f gibi ve \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u00adyordu. Sessizlik i\u00e7inde yemeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fck.
\nBu arada g\u00f6z\u00fcm duvarda as\u0131l\u0131 bir foto\u011frafa tak\u0131ld\u0131. Babam\u0131n om\u00adzunun \u00fczerinden karanl\u0131\u011fa bak\u0131yordum.
\n“\u015eu foto\u011fraftaki kim? Beyaz kimonolu olan?”
\nBabam elindeki \u00e7ubuklar\u0131 masaya b\u0131rakt\u0131. \u00d6nce foto\u011frafa, sonra bana bakt\u0131. “Annen,” dedi, “anneni tan\u0131yamadm m\u0131?”
\n“Annem mi? Karanl\u0131kta iyi g\u00f6remedim.”
\nBirka\u00e7 saniye sessizlik oldu. Sonra Kikuko aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131, foto\u011fraf\u0131 duvardan alarak elime verdi.
\n“\u00c7ok ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor,” dedim.
\n“\u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden k\u0131sa bir s\u00fcre \u00f6nce \u00e7ekilmi\u015fti,” dedi babam.
\n“Karanl\u0131kt\u0131, iyi se\u00e7emedim.”
\nBabam elini uzatt\u0131. Foto\u011fraf\u0131 ona verdim; dikkatle bakt\u0131, sonra Kikuko’ya verdi. O da boyun e\u011fercesine bir kez daha aya\u011fa kalkarak foto\u011fraf\u0131 duvardaki yerine geri koydu.
\nMasan\u0131n ortas\u0131nda kapa\u011f\u0131 hen\u00fcz a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f b\u00fcy\u00fccek bir kap du\u00adruyordu. Babam e\u011filip kapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131. Bir buhar bulutu \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 ve k\u0131vr\u0131larak lambaya do\u011fru y\u00fckseldi. Babam kab\u0131 bana do\u011fru iterek, “A\u00e7 olmal\u0131s\u0131n,” dedi; y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fcn bir yan\u0131 g\u00f6lgede kal\u0131yordu.
\n“Te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim,” diyerek \u00e7ubuklar\u0131mla uzand\u0131m. Buhar elimi yakt\u0131. “Nedir bu?”
\n“Bal\u0131k.”
\n“\u00c7ok g\u00fczel kokuyor.”
\n\u00c7orban\u0131n i\u00e7inde \u015ferit bi\u00e7iminde kesilmi\u015f bal\u0131k dilimleri vard\u0131; neredeyse top olacak gibi k\u0131vr\u0131m k\u0131vr\u0131md\u0131lar. Birini al\u0131p k\u00e2seme koy\u00addum.
\n“Daha alsana, \u00e7ok var.”
\nBiraz daha al\u0131p kab\u0131 babama do\u011fru ittim. Birka\u00e7 par\u00e7a al\u0131p k\u00e2se\u00adsine koyarken izledim onu. Sonra ikimiz de Kikuko’nun kendi k\u00e2se\u00adsine bal\u0131k koymas\u0131n\u0131 izledik.
\nBabam hafif\u00e7e ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011fdi. “A\u00e7 olmal\u0131s\u0131n,” dedi gene. Bal\u0131ktan bir par\u00e7a al\u0131p yemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. Ben de bir par\u00e7a se\u00e7ip a\u011fz\u0131ma g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00add\u00fcm. Yumu\u015fak ve ho\u015f bir et dokusu duyumsad\u0131m dilimde.
\n“\u00c7ok g\u00fczel,” dedim, “ne bal\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu?”
\n“Sadece bal\u0131k.”
\n“\u00c7ok lezzetli.”
\n\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcm\u00fcz de sessizlik i\u00e7inde yemeyi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fck. Birka\u00e7 dakika ge\u00e7ti.
\n“Biraz daha?”
\n“Yeterince var m\u0131?”
\n“Hepimize yeter.” Babam kab\u0131n kapa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rd\u0131. Buhar bir kez daha y\u00fckseldi. E\u011filip k\u00e2selerimize biraz daha ald\u0131k bal\u0131ktan.
\n“Bu son par\u00e7a,” dedi babam, “sen al.”
\n“Te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim.”
\nYeme\u011fi bitirdi\u011fimizde babam doygun bir tav\u0131rla kollar\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7arak gerindi. “Kikuko,” dedi, “\u00e7ay yapsana.”
\nKarde\u015fim ona bakt\u0131; hi\u00e7bir \u015fey demeden odadan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131.
\nBabam aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131. “Buras\u0131 s\u0131cak oldu; yan odaya ge\u00e7elim.”
\nBen de aya\u011fa kalk\u0131p \u00e7ay odas\u0131na ge\u00e7erken onu izledim.
\nB\u00fcy\u00fck, kayar kap\u0131lar a\u00e7\u0131k b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan bah\u00e7eden hafif bir esinti geliyordu. Bir s\u00fcre sessizce oturduk.
\n“Baba,” dedim sonunda.
\n“Evet?”
\n“Kikuko bana Bay Watanabe’nin kendisiyle birlikte ailesinin de can\u0131na k\u0131yd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi.”
\nBabam ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 e\u011ferek g\u00f6zlerini indirdi. Birka\u00e7 dakika d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceye dalm\u0131\u015f gibi durdu. Sonra, “Watanabe i\u015fine \u00e7ok ba\u011fl\u0131yd\u0131,” dedi, “\u015fir\u00adketin batmas\u0131 \u00e7ok sarst\u0131 onu. San\u0131r\u0131m bu olay onun d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnme yetisini zay\u0131flatt\u0131.”
\n“Yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hata m\u0131yd\u0131 sence?”
\n“Ku\u015fkusuz hatayd\u0131. Sen aksini mi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun?”
\n“Hay\u0131r, elbette hay\u0131r.”
\n“\u0130nsan\u0131n i\u015fi d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda ba\u015fka \u015feyler de vard\u0131r.”
\n“Evet, \u00f6yle.”
\nTekrar sessizlik \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc. Bah\u00e7eden \u00e7ekirgelerin sesi geliyordu. Ka\u00adranl\u0131\u011fa do\u011fru bakt\u0131m. Kuyu art\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyordu.
\n“\u015eimdi ne yapmay\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun?” diye sordu babam. “Bir s\u00fcre \u00fclkede kalacak m\u0131s\u0131n?”
\n“Do\u011fruyu s\u00f6ylemek gerekirse o kadar uzun vadeli d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmedim.”
\n“Kalmak istersen, yani bu evde demek istiyorum, kap\u0131lar sana a\u00e7\u0131k. Tabii ya\u015fl\u0131 bir adamla birlikte oturmaya ald\u0131rmazsan.”
\n“Te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmem gerek.”
\nBir kez daha d\u0131\u015fardaki karanl\u0131\u011fa bakt\u0131m.
\n“Fakat hi\u00e7 ku\u015fkusuz bu ev art\u0131k \u00e7ok kasvetli,” dedi babam, “\u00e7ok ge\u00e7meden Amerika’ya d\u00f6nersin herhalde.”
\n“Belki; hen\u00fcz bilmiyorum.”
\n“Ku\u015fkusuz d\u00f6nersin.”
\nBabam bir s\u00fcre ellerinin \u00fczerini inceledi, sonra ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p i\u00e7 \u00e7ekti. “Kikuko baharda okulunu bitiriyor,” dedi, “belki o da eve d\u00f6\u00adner. \u0130yi bir k\u0131z o.”
\n“Belki de.”
\n“\u0130\u015fler yoluna girer o zaman.”
\n“Evet, eminim girer.”
\nBir kez daha sessizlik \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fc. Kikuko’nun \u00e7aylar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 getirmesini bekliyorduk.<\/p>\n

\u00c7eviri: Haluk ERDEMOL<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fugu, Japonya’n\u0131n Pasifik k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131nda avlanan bir bal\u0131kt\u0131r. Annem bu bal\u0131ktan yiyerek \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden beri Fugu’nun benim i\u00e7in \u00f6zel bir \u00f6nemi var. Zehir, bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n cinsel salg\u0131 bezlerinde, kolayca zedelenebilen iki ince kesenin i\u00e7inde bulunur. Bal\u0131k temizlenirken bu iki kesenin dikkatle \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekir, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc en ufak bir dikkatsizlik sonucu zehir bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n damarlar\u0131na s\u0131zar… Ne yaz\u0131k ki bu i\u015flemin […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[115],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-ceviri-oykuler"],"yoast_head":"\nEn ufak bir dikkatsizlik sonucu zehir bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n damarlar\u0131na s\u0131zar | Bir Aile Yeme\u011fi - Kazuo Ishiguro - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/07\/en-ufak-bir-dikkatsizlik-sonucu-zehir-baligin-damarlarina-sizar-bir-aile-yemegi-kazuo-ishiguro\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"En ufak bir dikkatsizlik sonucu zehir bal\u0131\u011f\u0131n damarlar\u0131na s\u0131zar | Bir Aile Yeme\u011fi - Kazuo Ishiguro\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Fugu, Japonya’n\u0131n Pasifik k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131nda avlanan bir bal\u0131kt\u0131r. 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