{"id":7131,"date":"2018-08-10T12:27:22","date_gmt":"2018-08-10T09:27:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/"},"modified":"2024-04-27T11:16:29","modified_gmt":"2024-04-27T08:16:29","slug":"hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/","title":{"rendered":"Hi\u00e7bir bedensel yazg\u0131, erkek’le kad\u0131n’\u0131 sonsuz bir \u00e7eki\u015fmeye zorlamamaktad\u0131r | Simone de Beauvoir"},"content":{"rendered":"![\"\"](\"http:\/\/narteks.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/simone_de_beauvoir2-150x150.jpg\")
“Hay\u0131r, kad\u0131n karde\u015fimiz de\u011fildir bizim; tembellik y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, ba\u015ftan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p ahl\u00e2k\u0131n\u0131 tozarak apayr\u0131 bir varl\u0131k haline getirmi\u015fiz onu; ne oldu\u011fu bilinmeyen, cinselli\u011finden ba\u015fka sil\u00e2h\u0131 bulunmayan bir varl\u0131k… cinsellikse, s\u00fcrekli bir sava\u015f olmaktan ba\u015fka, ayr\u0131ca d\u00fcnya kurulal\u0131 beri zincirlerinden kurtulamam\u0131\u015f bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck k\u00f6lenin \u2014erkekten nefret eden ya da ona tapan, ama i\u00e7ten bir ya\u015fam arkada\u015f\u0131 olamayan, kafas\u0131na de\u011fil de bedenine uyarak ya\u015fayan ve ancak masonluk gibi darac\u0131k bir birlik kurabilen bu varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u2014 elinde, g\u00fcvensizli\u011fin yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131, son derece k\u00f6t\u00fc bir sil\u00e2ht\u0131r.”<\/p>\n
Jules Laforgue’\u0131n bu s\u00f6zlerine, bug\u00fcn de, pek \u00e7ok ki\u015fi seve seve kat\u0131lacakt\u0131r; insanlar\u0131n \u00e7o\u011fu, iki cins aras\u0131nda hep bir “kand\u0131rmaca ve kavga” olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, karde\u015fli\u011fin hi\u00e7bir zaman ger\u00e7ekle\u015femeyece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmektedirler. \u015euras\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ek: bug\u00fcn, ne erkekler ne de kad\u0131nlar birbirlerinden ho\u015fnut de\u011filler. Ama \u00fcst\u00fcnde durulmas\u0131 gereken nokta, tepelerine \u00e7\u00f6ken bir i\u0130encin onlar\u0131 kedi-k\u00f6pek gibi hi\u00e7 durmadan \u00e7eki\u015fmeye mi itti\u011fi, yoksa onlar\u0131 birbirine d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcren \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131n insanl\u0131k tarihinin ge\u00e7ici bir an\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131 dile getirdi\u011fidir. incelememiz boyunca g\u00f6rd\u00fck ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn efsanelere ra\u011fmen, hi\u00e7bir bedensel yazg\u0131, Erkek’le Kad\u0131n’\u0131 sonsuz bir \u00e7eki\u015fmeye zorlamamaktad\u0131r: din kitaplar\u0131nda ad\u0131 ge\u00e7en \u00fcnl\u00fc mantis b\u00f6ce\u011fi bile, ba\u015fka yiyecek bulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in ve t\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc devam ettirebilmek \u00fczere erke\u011fini yemektedir: en tepeden en dibe dek b\u00fct\u00fcn hayvanlar bu sonuncu kayg\u0131ya ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r zaten. \u00d6te yandan, insanl\u0131k, bir t\u00fcr olmaktan \u00f6te bir \u015feydir: tarihsel bir olgudur o; insanl\u0131k, do\u011fal varolu\u015funu y\u00fckleni\u015f bi\u00e7imiyle be\u00adlirlenir. Ger\u00e7ekte, k\u00f6t\u00fcniyetin en a\u015f\u0131r\u0131s\u0131yla yola \u00e7\u0131k\u0131lsa bile, insan denen varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n di\u015fisiyle erke\u011fi aras\u0131nda salt bedensel a\u00e7\u0131dan bir d\u00fc\u015fmanl\u0131k, bir \u00e7eki\u015fme bulabilmek olanaks\u0131zd\u0131r. Bu y\u00fczden de, d\u00fc\u015fmanl\u0131klar\u0131, biyolojiyle ruhbilim aras\u0131nda yer alan ruh\u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlemesi alan\u0131na yerle\u015ftirilecektir. Kad\u0131n\u0131n, erke\u011fin cinsel organ\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131skand\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve onu i\u011fdi\u015f etmek istedi\u011fi ileri s\u00fcr\u00fclmektedir. Oysa, bir erkeklik organ\u0131na sahip olma arzusu, olgun kad\u0131nda, ancak kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bir sakatl\u0131k olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc zaman ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r ve i\u015fte ancak o zaman, b\u00fct\u00fcn erkek ayr\u0131cal\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 canland\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in, bir “penis”i olsun istemektedir.<\/p>\n
Erke\u011fin cinsel organ\u0131n\u0131 kesme d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn simgesel bir anlam ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 kabul edilmektedir; kad\u0131n\u0131n, bunu yapmakla, erke\u011fi a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan yoksun b\u0131rakmak istedi\u011fine inan\u0131l\u0131yor bug\u00fcn. Oysa, yukar\u0131da g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz gibi, kad\u0131n\u0131n dile\u011fi \u00e7ok daha fazla y\u00f6nl\u00fcd\u00fcr: \u00e7eli\u015fik bir davran\u0131\u015fla bu a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa sahip olmak istemekte, yani hem bu a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa sayg\u0131 duymakta, hem de yads\u0131makta; hem kendini bu a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7ine atmak, hem de onu elinde tutmak istemektedir. Sizin anlayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, dram, cinsel d\u00fczeyde ge\u00e7memektedir; ayr\u0131ca biz, cinselli\u011fi hi\u00e7bir zaman insan\u0131n al\u0131nyaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 belirleyen bir etken, insan davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n anahtar\u0131n\u0131 veren bir \u015fey gibi g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor, tam tarsine, belirlenmesine yard\u0131m etti\u011fi bir durumun b\u00fct\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc dile getiren bir \u00f6\u011fe saymaktay\u0131z. Cinsleraras\u0131 kavga, do\u011frudan do\u011fruya erke\u011fin ve kad\u0131n\u0131n bedensel yap\u0131s\u0131ndan gelmemektedir. Ger\u00e7ekte, b\u00f6yle bir kavgadan s\u00f6z edildi\u011fi zaman, fikirlerin olu\u015fturdu\u011fu zamand\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcnde \u00d6l\u00fcms\u00fcz Erkek’le \u00d6l\u00fcms\u00fcz Kad\u0131n denen \u015fu belirsiz \u00f6zler aras\u0131nda bir sava\u015f\u0131n s\u00fcr\u00fcp gitti\u011fi kabul edilmektedir ve bu devleraras\u0131 kavgan\u0131n yery\u00fcz\u00fcnde, birbirinden ayr\u0131 iki tarihsel an’\u0131 dile getiren iki ayr\u0131 bi\u00e7imde ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131na dikkat bile edilmemektedir.<\/p>\n
\u0130\u00e7kinli\u011fe hapsedilmi\u015f olan kad\u0131n, erke\u011fi de ayn\u0131 cendereye sokmaya u\u011fra\u015fmaktad\u0131r: b\u00f6ylece mapusaneyle d\u00fcnya birbirine kar\u0131\u015facak, kad\u0131n da oraya kapat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in art\u0131k ac\u0131 \u00e7ekmeyecektir: ana, e\u015f ya da sevilen kad\u0131n birer mapusane bek\u00e7isidirler; yasalar\u0131n\u0131 erkeklerin koydu\u011fu toplum, kad\u0131n\u0131n erkekten daha a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da oldu\u011funa karar vermi\u015ftir: kad\u0131n da, bu a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ancak erke\u011fin \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc yokederek ortadan kald\u0131rabilir. Erke\u011fi sakatlamaya, boyunduru\u011fu alt\u0131na almaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r, onun dediklerinin tersini s\u00f6yler, onun do\u011frusunu ve de\u011ferlerini yads\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Ama b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar yaln\u0131zca kendisini savunmas\u0131na yaramaktad\u0131r; onu i\u00e7kinli\u011fe, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131\u011fa mahk\u00fbm eden \u015fey ne de\u011fi\u015fmeyen bir \u00f6z, ne de yanl\u0131\u015f bir se\u00e7medir, \u00ee\u00e7kinlik de, erkekten a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 durumda olu\u015f da zorla kabul ettirilmi\u015ftir kendisine. Her bask\u0131, her zorbal\u0131k da bir sava\u015fa yol a\u00e7ar. Ele ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z durum da bunun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda de\u011fildir. \u00d6zsel-olmayan g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bak\u0131lan canl\u0131 bir varl\u0131k ister istemez, egemenli\u011fini kazanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015facakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Bug\u00fcn, iki cins aras\u0131ndaki kavga ba\u015fka bir bi\u00e7ime b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr; kad\u0131n, erke\u011fi tutup bir h\u00fccreye kapatmak de\u011fil, ondan ka\u00e7\u0131p kurtulmak istemektedir; erke\u011fi yakalay\u0131p i\u00e7kinlik b\u00f6lgesine s\u00fcr\u00fcklemek \u00fczere de\u011fil, a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ayd\u0131nl\u0131k d\u00fcnyas\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kabilmek \u00fczere u\u011fra\u015f\u0131p didinmektedir. O zaman da, erkeklerin tutumu yeni bir sava\u015fa yol a\u00e7maktad\u0131r: erkek, “hakk\u0131 olan \u015feyi” istemeye istemeye vermektedir kad\u0131na. Buyuran varl\u0131k, \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc su g\u00f6t\u00fcrmez varl\u0131k, \u00f6zsel varl\u0131k kalmak ho\u015funa gitmektedir; ya\u015fam arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131 ger\u00e7ekten kendine e\u015fit saymaya yana\u015fmamakta; kad\u0131n da, erke\u011fin bu g\u00fcvensizli\u011fine, sald\u0131rganl\u0131kla kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k vermektedir. Sava\u015f art\u0131k, her biri kendi d\u00fcnyas\u0131na kapanm\u0131\u015f bireyler aras\u0131nda de\u011fildir: hakk\u0131n\u0131 arayan bir toplumsal kast h\u00fccuma ge\u00e7mekte, ama ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131f taraf\u0131ndan bozguna u\u011frat\u0131lmaktad\u0131r. \u015eimdi art\u0131k iki aslanl\u0131k \u00e7eki\u015fmektedir. Birbirlerini tan\u0131yacak yerde, her iki \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck de kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakini boyunduru\u011fu alt\u0131na almaya u\u011fra\u015fmaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Bu davran\u0131\u015f, ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131, hem zihinsel, hem de cinsel d\u00fczeyde ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r; “di\u015fi” kad\u0131n, kendini edilgin bir av haline getirerek erke\u011fi de bedensel edilginli\u011fe indirgemek istemektedir; onu tuza\u011fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmek \u00fczere bedenini kullanmakta, kendini sessiz bir nesne haline getirerek uyand\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 arzuyla erke\u011fin elini kolunu ba\u011flamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktad\u0131r; “\u00f6zg\u00fcr” kad\u0131nsa, tam tersine, etkin, tuttu\u011funu koparan bir varl\u0131k olmak istemekte, erke\u011fin kendisine yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmak istedi\u011fi edilginli\u011fi reddetmektedir. Elise ve arkada\u015flar\u0131, erkek etkinliklerinin ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011feri k\u00f6k\u00fcnden yads\u0131maktad\u0131rlar; teni ruha, olumsall\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe, al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n do\u011furdu\u011fu bilgeli\u011fi yarat\u0131c\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fcpekli\u011fe \u00fcst\u00fcn tutmaktad\u0131rlar. “\u00c7a\u011fda\u015f” kad\u0131nsa, erkek de\u011ferlerini kabul etmektedir: t\u0131pk\u0131 erkekler gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, etkinlikte bulundu\u011funu, \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6ne s\u00fcrmektedir; erkekleri g\u00f6zden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015facak yerde, onlarla e\u015fit oldu\u011funu s\u00f6ylemektedir.<\/p>\n
Bu hakk\u0131n\u0131 aray\u0131\u015f, somut ko\u015fullar i\u00e7ersinde dile geldi\u011fi oranda hakl\u0131d\u0131r; o zaman k\u0131nanmas\u0131 gereken, erkeklerin sald\u0131rganl\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r. Ancak, erkeklerin bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karacak bir \u015fey de s\u00f6ylenebilir: kad\u0131nlar ak\u0131 karay\u0131 birbirine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaktad\u0131r. Mabel Dodge, Lawrence’\u0131 \u00f6nce kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla ba\u011flamak, sonra da ak\u0131lsal y\u00f6nden ona egemen olmak sav\u0131ndayd\u0131; pek \u00e7ok kad\u0131n, ba\u015far\u0131lar\u0131yla erke\u011fe denk olduklar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6stermek \u00fczere kendilerine cinsel alanda bir erke\u011fin deste\u011fini sa\u011flamaya u\u011fra\u015fmakta; hem eski, hem yeni sayg\u0131y\u0131 isteyerek, hem eski b\u00fcy\u00fclerine, hem yeni haklar\u0131na dayanarak, ikili bir oyun oynamaktad\u0131r; bundan sinirlenen erke\u011fin savunma durumuna ge\u00e7mesi \u00e7ok do\u011fald\u0131r; ancak, kad\u0131n\u0131n bu oyunu a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a oynamas\u0131n\u0131 isteyip de, g\u00fcvensizli\u011fi ve d\u00fc\u015fmanl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla onu en gerekli kozlardan yoksun b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman kendisi de su\u00e7ludur. Asl\u0131nda, aralar\u0131ndaki \u00e7eki\u015fme hi\u00e7bir zaman ayd\u0131nl\u0131k bir g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fe kavu\u015famayacakt\u0131r, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc kad\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ta kendisidir: erke\u011fin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na bir \u00f6zne gibi de\u011fil, \u00e7eli\u015fik bir tutumla \u00f6znelli\u011fe sahip k\u0131l\u0131nm\u0131\u015f bir nesne halinde \u00e7\u0131kmaktad\u0131r; varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hem kendisi, hem de ba\u015fkas\u0131 gibi y\u00fcklenmekte, bu da d\u00fc\u015f k\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 sonu\u00e7lara yol a\u00e7maktad\u0131r. Kendini, hem zay\u0131fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na, hem de g\u00fcc\u00fcne dayanarak bir sil\u00e2h haline getirdi\u011fi zaman, bu davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 ince bir hesaba dayanmamaktad\u0131r: o, anl\u0131k bir tepkiyle, kurtulu\u015fu zorla sokuldu\u011fu yolda, edilginlikte aramakta, bunun yan\u0131nda etkin bir bi\u00e7imde, egemenli\u011fini istemektedir; bu tutum “iyi bir kavga bi\u00e7imi” de\u011fildir elbet, ama onu bu yola, i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu ikili durum itmi\u015ftir. Buna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k erkek de kad\u0131na \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman, kendisi i\u00e7in h\u00e2l\u00e2 bir tuzak olmas\u0131na sinirlenmektedir; avucuna ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir av olarak kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcrece onu pohpohlay\u0131p arma\u011fanlara bo\u011fmakta, \u00f6zerkli\u011fe \u00f6zenince can\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131lmaktad\u0131r; s\u00f6z\u00fcn k\u0131sas\u0131, erkek, \u015f\u00f6yle ya da b\u00f6yle, kendini oyuna gelmi\u015f hissetmekte, kad\u0131n da gururunun k\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131na inanmaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\u00c7eki\u015fme, erkeklerle kad\u0131nlar birbirlerine insan g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bakmad\u0131k\u00e7a, yani kad\u0131nl\u0131k \u015fu anki durumuyla kald\u0131k\u00e7a devam edecektir; kad\u0131n m\u0131, yoksa erkek mi kad\u0131nlar\u0131 bug\u00fcnk\u00fc durumunda b\u0131rakmak i\u00e7in daha fazla u\u011fra\u015fmaktad\u0131r acaba? Kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131m a\u015fan kad\u0131n, yine de birtak\u0131m ayr\u0131cal\u0131klar\u0131n elinde kalmas\u0131n\u0131 istemekte; buna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k erkek de, onun, kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n dar s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 i\u00e7inde kalmas\u0131n\u0131 arzulamaktad\u0131r, “iki cinsten birini su\u00e7lamak, \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaktan \u00e7ok daha kolayd\u0131r,” der Montaigne. Birine ilen\u00e7ler ya\u011fd\u0131rmak, \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne iyi durum belgesi vermek bo\u015ftur. Ger\u00e7ekte, bu k\u0131s\u0131rd\u00f6ng\u00fcn\u00fcn k\u0131r\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131n bu denli g\u00fc\u00e7 olu\u015fu, her iki cinsin de birbirinin ve kendisinin kurban\u0131 olu\u015fundand\u0131r: katk\u0131s\u0131z \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fckleri i\u00e7inde kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fan iki rakip aras\u0131nda kolayca bir anla\u015fmaya var\u0131labilirdi: \u00fcstelik, s\u00fcr\u00fcp gitmekte olan sava\u015f\u0131n kimseye yarar\u0131 yoktur; ama bu i\u015fin b\u00f6ylesine kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k olu\u015fu, her iki yan\u0131n da kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine su\u00e7 ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 edi\u015finden gelmektedir; kad\u0131n, b\u00fct\u00fcn haklar\u0131ndan vazge\u00e7menin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rmekte, erkekse yabanc\u0131la\u015fmay\u0131 d\u00fc\u015flemektedir; oysa, sahicilikten uzakla\u015fman\u0131n kimseye yarar\u0131 dokunmaz: her iki cins de, i\u015fin kolay\u0131na ka\u00e7ma e\u011filimine kap\u0131lman\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na getirdi\u011fi fel\u00e2ketten kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakini su\u00e7lamaktad\u0131r; kad\u0131nla erke\u011fin bir-birlerinde en \u00e7ok nefret ettikleri \u015fey, kendi k\u00f6t\u00fcniyetleri ile korkakl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n do\u011furdu\u011fu a\u00e7\u0131k se\u00e7ik ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131kt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Erkeklerin, i\u015fin ba\u015f\u0131nda kad\u0131nlar\u0131 k\u00f6lele\u015ftiri\u015finin nedenini g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fck; kad\u0131n\u0131n de\u011ferden d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f\u00fc, insan\u00ee evrenin ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz bir a\u015famas\u0131yd\u0131; ama bu zorunluluk iki cins aras\u0131nda i\u015fbirli\u011fine de yol a\u00e7abilirdi; bask\u0131, ya\u015fayan varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, \u00f6b\u00fcr varl\u0131kta yabanc\u0131la\u015farak kendi kendisinden ka\u00e7ma e\u011filiminden gelmektedir, erkek i\u015fte bu ama\u00e7la ezmektedir kad\u0131n\u0131; bug\u00fcn, her erkekte ayn\u0131 e\u011filim vard\u0131r; ve b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00e7o\u011funlu\u011fu kendisini bu e\u011filime kapt\u0131rmaktad\u0131r; koca kar\u0131s\u0131nda, \u00e2\u015f\u0131k sevgilisinde, ta\u015ftan yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir heykel g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fc alt\u0131nda, kendini yakalamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktad\u0131r: erkeklik, egemenlik ve dolays\u0131z ger\u00e7eklik efsanesini kad\u0131nda s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmektedir. Kad\u0131n: “Kocam sinemaya gitmez,” dedi mi, erke\u011fin belirsiz imgesi \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn akmermerine kaz\u0131n\u0131-vermektedir. Ama erkek de kendi imgesinin k\u00f6lesidir: her an yokolma tehlikesiyle kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya bir imge yaratabilmek \u00fczere nas\u0131l da u\u011fra\u015f\u0131p didinmektedir! Bu imge, her \u015feye ra\u011fmen, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n karars\u0131z \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne dayanmaktad\u0131r: bu \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc her an en uygun durumda tutmak gerekmektedir; erkek, her saniye, erkekli\u011fini, \u00f6nemini, \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6sterme kayg\u0131s\u0131 i\u00e7indedir; kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakinin de kendisine oyun oynamas\u0131 i\u00e7in, hi\u00e7 durmadan oyun oynamaktad\u0131r; o da, sald\u0131rgan ve tedirgindir; kad\u0131nlara d\u00fc\u015fmand\u0131r, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc onlardan korkmaktad\u0131r; bu kor-kuysa, oynad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve kendisi sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 ki\u015fiden \u00fcrkmesindendir. Eski hesaplar\u0131 temizlemek, \u00fcste \u00e7\u0131kmak, birtak\u0131m a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k duygular\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine aktarmak, kad\u0131nlardan s\u00f6z etmek, onlar\u0131n g\u00f6nl\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7elmek, onlardan korkmak u\u011fruna ne kadar \u00e7ok zaman ve enerji harcamaktad\u0131r! Kad\u0131nlar\u0131 kurtard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z an, erke\u011fi de kurtarm\u0131\u015f olursunuz. Ama onun da as\u0131l korktu\u011fu budur zaten. Bu y\u00fczden de, kad\u0131nlar\u0131 zincir alt\u0131nda tutabilmek i\u00e7in bir s\u00fcr\u00fc kand\u0131rmacay\u0131 ya\u015fatmaya devam etmektedir.<\/p>\n
Bir\u00e7ok erkek, kad\u0131n\u0131n uyutuldu\u011funu, kand\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmektedir. “Ne b\u00fcy\u00fck talihsizliktir kad\u0131n olmak! Ama as\u0131l k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc, kad\u0131n olup da bunun fark\u0131na varmamakt\u0131r,” der Kierkegaard. insanlar nicedir bu ta\u0130ihsizli\u011fi perdelemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktad\u0131r. \u00d6rne\u011fin, vasilik kald\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: kad\u0131na birtak\u0131m “koruyucu”lar verilmi\u015ftir, bunlar\u0131n eski vasisinin haklar\u0131na sahip bulunu\u015fu, yine kad\u0131n\u0131n yarar\u0131nad\u0131r. Kad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktan al\u0131koymak, yuvas\u0131na hapsetmek, onu kendi kendisinden korumak, mutlulu\u011funu g\u00fcvenlik alt\u0131na almakt\u0131r. Omuzlar\u0131na binen tekd\u00fcze i\u015flerin nas\u0131l \u015fiirli t\u00fcller ard\u0131nda gizlendi\u011fini hepimiz biliriz: evi\u015fleri, anal\u0131k allan\u0131r pullan\u0131r, \u00f6yle \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131l\u0131r kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na; \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k “kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n” aldat\u0131c\u0131 hazineleri arma\u011fan edilir kendisine. Balzac, kad\u0131na krali\u00e7e oldu\u011fu san\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 vererek k\u00f6le gibi davran\u0131n derken \u00e7ok g\u00fczel dile getirmi\u015ftir bu manevray\u0131. Daha az k\u00f6peksi olan bir\u00e7ok erkek de, kad\u0131n\u0131n ger\u00e7ekten ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 bir varl\u0131k oldu\u011funa kendilerini inand\u0131rmaya u\u011fra\u015fmaktad\u0131r. Bug\u00fcn, birtak\u0131m Amerikan toplumbilimcileri b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ciddilikle “low-class-gain” yani “a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131f \u00e7\u0131karlar\u0131” kuram\u0131n\u0131 okutmaktad\u0131rlar. Fransa’da da \u2014b\u00f6yle bilimsel yoldan de\u011filse de\u2014 “birtak\u0131m yapmac\u0131kl\u0131 tav\u0131rlar tak\u0131nmak” zorunda kalmayan i\u015f\u00e7ilerin, hele Beaumont Kontu ile \u00fcnl\u00fc sanayici Wendel’in soyundan gelen zavall\u0131lar\u0131n eri\u015femeyece\u011fi k\u00f6pr\u00fc alt\u0131nda yatmak, p\u0131l\u0131p\u0131rt\u0131yla dola\u015fmak gibi zevklerin tad\u0131m \u00e7\u0131karan ayaktak\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n herkesten daha talihli oldu\u011fu ileri s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr. Kayg\u0131s\u0131z bir tav\u0131rla bitli kafas\u0131n\u0131 ka\u015f\u0131yan garipler, copu yedik\u00e7e s\u0131r\u0131tan ne\u015feli Zenciler ve a\u00e7l\u0131ktan \u00f6len yavrular\u0131n\u0131 dudaklar\u0131nda tatl\u0131 bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeyle topra\u011fa veren Kral Suud’un Araplar\u0131 gibi, kad\u0131n da e\u015fi benzeri bulunmayan bir ayr\u0131cal\u0131\u011f\u0131n, sorumsuzlu\u011fun keyfini s\u00fcrmektedir. Ac\u0131s\u0131, y\u00fck\u00fc, kayg\u0131s\u0131 bulunmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6re, yery\u00fcz\u00fc nimetlerinden “en b\u00fcy\u00fck pay” kendisine d\u00fc\u015fmektedir. Ancak, ne gariptir ki, d\u00fcnya nimetlerinin en ya\u011fl\u0131 par\u00e7as\u0131na konan kad\u0131nlar \u2014Havva Anam\u0131z\u0131n i\u015fledi\u011fi ilk g\u00fcnahtan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc m\u00fcd\u00fcr nedir \u2014 y\u00fczy\u0131llard\u0131r, kendilerini iyili\u011fe bo\u011fan koruyucular\u0131na; Yeter, yeter! diye ba\u011f\u0131rmaktad\u0131rlar. Daha fazlas\u0131n\u0131 istemiyoruz, sizin ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z kadar\u0131na raz\u0131y\u0131z! Ama o harika sermayeciler, g\u00f6nl\u00fc zengin s\u00f6m\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fcler, y\u00fcce erkekler inatla direnmektedir: Hay\u0131r, hay\u0131r, pay\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fc sizin olsun!<\/p>\n
\u015euras\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ek ki, erkek, ya\u015fam arkada\u015f\u0131nda, zorban\u0131n bask\u0131 alt\u0131na ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlarda rastlad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7ok daha b\u00fcy\u00fck bir su\u00e7 ortakl\u0131\u011f\u0131 bulmakta, ve bundan cesaret alarak, tam bir k\u00f6t\u00fcniyetle, kad\u0131n\u0131n, kendisine zorla benimsetilen yazg\u0131y\u0131 istedi\u011fi sonucunu \u00e7\u0131karmaktad\u0131r, incelememiz boyunca g\u00f6rd\u00fck ki, kad\u0131n\u0131n e\u011fitimi ona b\u00fct\u00fcn ba\u015fkald\u0131r\u0131 ve ser\u00fcven yollan\u0131n t\u0131kamaktad\u0131r; b\u00fct\u00fcn toplum \u2014en ba\u015fta sayg\u0131de\u011fer ana-baba\u2014 e\u015fine ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n, kendini vermenin y\u00fcce de\u011ferini \u00f6verek, \u00e2\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n, kocan\u0131n ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n onu ya\u015fatman\u0131n a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck\u00fcne katlanmaya haz\u0131r olmad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 kendisinden saklayarak kand\u0131rmaktad\u0131r kad\u0131n\u0131. O da, kendisine en kolay yolu g\u00f6sterdikleri i\u00e7in, seve seve kabul etmektedir bu yalanlar\u0131: ve bu, kendine kar\u015f\u0131 i\u015fledi\u011fi su\u00e7lar\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fc\u011f\u00fcd\u00fcr; asl\u0131nda \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda m\u00fcthi\u015f bir s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 duyan her varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131\u015fk\u0131rtan \u015fu insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan vazge\u00e7meyi “senin do\u011fu\u015ftan gelen e\u011filimin budur” diye \u00f6n\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131kararak b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7ocuklu\u011fu, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fc boyunca kand\u0131rmaktad\u0131rlar onu; bir \u00e7ocu\u011fu, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma f\u0131rsat\u0131 vermeden, \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman\u0131n yarar\u0131n\u0131 anlatmadan, b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn oyun oynay\u0131p tembelli\u011fe ittikten sonra, b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcp adam oldu\u011fu zaman beceriksiz ve bilgisiz bir insan olmay\u0131 se\u00e7ti\u011fini s\u00f6yleyerek .su\u00e7layamazs\u0131n\u0131z: kad\u0131nsa, kendi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n sorumlulu\u011funu y\u00fcklenmesi gerekti\u011fi \u00f6\u011fretilmeden, i\u015fte b\u00f6yle yeti\u015ftirilmektedir; o da, ister istemez, ba\u015fkas\u0131’n\u0131n koruyuculu\u011funa, sevgisine, yard\u0131m\u0131na, y\u00f6netimine yaslanmaktad\u0131r; hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmadan varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirebilece\u011fi umuduna kap\u0131lmaktad\u0131r. B\u00f6yle bir umuda kap\u0131lmakla yan\u0131lg\u0131ya d\u00fc\u015fmektedir; ama erkek de gelip bun\u00addan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc kad\u0131n\u0131 su\u00e7layamaz, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc onu bu yola iten kendisidir. Aralar\u0131nda bir anla\u015fmazl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman, her ikisi de birbirlerini sorumlu tutacakt\u0131r; kad\u0131n, kendisini bu duruma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrmekle su\u00e7layacakt\u0131r erke\u011fi: Hi\u00e7 kimse kendimi ge\u00e7indirecek paray\u0131 kazanmay\u0131, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeyi \u00f6\u011fretmedi bana… Erkek de, kad\u0131n\u0131, bu durumu kabullendi\u011fi i\u00e7in su\u00e7layacakt\u0131r: Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bildi\u011fin yok, beceriksizin birisin, diyecektir… Her iki \u00e7iri\u015f de, sald\u0131rmakla kendini hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131r: oysa, birinin haks\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131 \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcnkileri ba\u011f\u0131\u015flatmaz.<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131nlarla erkekleri kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya getiren say\u0131s\u0131z \u00e7at\u0131\u015fma, birinin \u00f6nerdi\u011fi, \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn de seve seve kabul etti\u011fi bir durumun sonu\u00e7lar\u0131na raz\u0131 olmay\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan do\u011fmaktad\u0131r; “e\u015fitsizlik i\u00e7inde e\u015fitlik” denen \u015fu belirsiz ve birinin zorbal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn de korkakl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 gizlemeye yarayan kavram en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck denemeye gelememektedir. al\u0131\u015fveri\u015flerinde, kad\u0131n, kendisine sa\u011flanan soyut e\u015fitli\u011fi, erkekse ya\u015farken g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc somut e\u015fitsizli\u011fi istemektedir. Almak ve vermek s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerinin ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 iki anlaml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 belirsiz bir \u00e7eki\u015fme, b\u00f6ylece, b\u00fct\u00fcn ili\u015fkilerinde s\u00fcr\u00fcp gitmektedir: kad\u0131n, var\u0131n\u0131 yo\u011funu vermekten yak\u0131nmakta, erkek de onun her \u015feyini almas\u0131na sinirlenmektedir. Kad\u0131n\u0131n her \u015feyden \u00f6nce \u015funu bilmesi gerekir ki \u2014ve bu siyasal-iktisad\u0131n temel yasas\u0131d\u0131r\u2014 b\u00fct\u00fcn ili\u015fkiler, mal\u0131n sat\u0131c\u0131 i\u00e7in de\u011fil, al\u0131c\u0131 i\u00e7in ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011fere ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r: kad\u0131n, de\u011ferinin sonsuz oldu\u011fu s\u00f6ylenerek kand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r; ger\u00e7ekte, erkek i\u00e7in, bir e\u011flenceden, bir zevkten, bir arkada\u015ftan ille de gerekli olmayan bir maldan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildir: erkekse kad\u0131n\u0131n varolu\u015funun anlam\u0131d\u0131r, do\u011frulanmas\u0131d\u0131r; demek ki. de\u011fi\u015ftoku\u015f e\u015fit nitelikteki iki nesne aras\u0131nda yap\u0131lmamaktad\u0131r; bu e\u015fitsizlik, en \u00e7ok, birlikte ge\u00e7irecekleri \u2014ve yanl\u0131\u015f olarak ayn\u0131ym\u0131\u015f gibi g\u00f6z\u00fcken\u2014 zaman\u0131n kad\u0131nla erkek i\u00e7in ayn\u0131 de\u011feri ta\u015f\u0131may\u0131\u015fmdan ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacakt\u0131r: seven erkek, sevgilisiyle ge\u00e7irdi\u011fi bir gece boyunca, u\u011fra\u015f\u0131na yararl\u0131 bir i\u015f yapabilir, birtak\u0131m dostlar g\u00f6rebilir, ili\u015fkilerini geli\u015ftirebilir, e\u011flenebilirdi de; en ola\u011fan bi\u00e7imde topluma kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f bulunan erkek i\u00e7in, zaman, olumlu bir zenginliktir: yani para, \u00fcn ve zevktir. Bo\u015f oturan, can s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131ndan patlayan kad\u0131n i\u00e7inse, tam tersine s\u0131rt\u0131ndan atmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir y\u00fckt\u00fcr, birka\u00e7 saati \u00f6ld\u00fcrmek b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ba\u015far\u0131d\u0131r: erke\u011fin yan\u0131nda olu\u015fu katk\u0131s\u0131z bir kazan\u00e7t\u0131r; bir\u00e7ok durumda, herhangi bir ili\u015fkide erke\u011fi ilgilendiren tek \u015fey, cinsel kazan\u00e7t\u0131r: gere\u011finde, oyna\u015f\u0131yla, salt sevi\u015fme s\u00fcresince birarada kalabilir; kad\u0131nsa, baz\u0131 ender durumlar bir yana, \u00e2\u015f\u0131k ayr\u0131ca birka\u00e7 saatlik konu\u015fup dola\u015fmay\u0131 da birlikte “al\u0131rsa” kendini teslim eder erke\u011fe; onun b\u00fct\u00fcn istedi\u011fi, nerede kullanaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmedi\u011fi \u015fu bo\u015f zaman\u0131 “ge\u00e7irmek”tir ve ili\u015fkilerinde, t\u0131pk\u0131 patateslerini ancak “\u015falgam”la birlikte satan manav gibi davranmaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Piyangonun bedeli erke\u011fe pek y\u00fcksek gelmedi\u011fi zaman denge sa\u011flanabilmektedir bu i\u015f de, arzusunun derecesine ve g\u00f6zden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6b\u00fcr i\u015flere verdi\u011fi \u00f6neme ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r tabi\u00ee; ama kad\u0131n fazla zaman ister \u2014ya da sunarsa\u2014, t\u0131pk\u0131 ta\u015fan bir \u0131rmak gibi, bir anda rahats\u0131zl\u0131k vermeye ba\u015flar, o zaman da erkek, faz-las\u0131ndansa, hi\u00e7 olmamas\u0131na karar veriverir. Bunun \u00fczerine kad\u0131n, isteklerini iyice azalt\u0131r; ancak, \u00e7o\u011fu kez denge, ikili bir gerilim sonucu kurulur: kad\u0131n, erke\u011fin kendisini yok pahas\u0131na “elde etti\u011fini” d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr; erkekse pahal\u0131ya ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 san\u0131r. Bu dediklerimizde belli bir alay pay\u0131 var elbet; bununla birlikte \u2014 erke\u011fin kad\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle elde etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u0131skan\u00e7 sevda bir yana\u2014, sevecenlikte, arzuda, hatt\u00e2 a\u015fkta bile vard\u0131r bu \u00e7at\u0131\u015fma; erkek elindeki zaman\u0131 hep “ba\u015fka bir i\u015fe” harcamak ister; kad\u0131nsa, vaktini ge\u00e7irmek, elindeki bo\u015f zamandan kurtulmak arzusundad\u0131r, ve erkek, kad\u0131n\u0131n kendisine ay\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamana bir arma\u011fan de\u011fil, bir y\u00fck g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bakar. Genel olarak, ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 varl\u0131klardan oldu\u011funu bildi\u011fi, “vicdan\u0131 rahats\u0131z” oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in katlan\u0131r kad\u0131na ve e\u011fer az\u0131c\u0131k, elia\u00e7\u0131ksa, i\u00e7inde bulunduklar\u0131 ko\u015fullar\u0131n e\u015fitsizli\u011fini c\u00f6mertli\u011fiyle gidermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r; ama ac\u0131may\u0131 bili\u015fini b\u00fcy\u00fck bir h\u00fcner sayar, ilk \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmada kad\u0131n\u0131 nank\u00f6rl\u00fckle su\u00e7lar, k\u0131zar k\u00f6\u00adp\u00fcr\u00fcr: Gere\u011finden fazla iyiyim can\u0131m, der. Kad\u0131n, sundu\u011fu arma\u011fanlar\u0131n y\u00fcce de\u011ferine inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 halde, dilenci gibi davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sezer ve bundan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k duygusuna kap\u0131l\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131nda s\u0131k s\u0131k rastlanan kat\u0131 kalplili\u011fin, yart\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n nedeni de budur zaten; ezilen yandan oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in “vicdan\u0131 rahat”t\u0131r; ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 ki\u015filere ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fcyle bakmak zorunda de\u011fildir, akl\u0131 fikri kendini savunmaktad\u0131r; hatt\u00e2, b\u00fct\u00fcn arzular\u0131n\u0131 doyuramayan \u00e2\u015f\u0131\u011fa i\u00e7indeki h\u0131nc\u0131 g\u00f6sterebilme f\u0131rsat\u0131n\u0131 elde ederse epey sevinir: sevdi\u011fi erkek diledi\u011fi kadar\u0131n\u0131 vermiyorsa, o da, vah\u015fi bir zevkle, var\u0131n\u0131 yo\u011funu alacakt\u0131r. Kalbi yaralanan erkek, i\u015fte o zaman, zaten her an\u0131n\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsedi\u011fi ili\u015fkilerinin yuvarlak hesap ka\u00e7a geldi\u011fini farkeden tutmak zorunda kalaca\u011f\u0131, zaman s\u00f6m\u00fcr\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcne karar vermeye haz\u0131r olmakla birlikte her vaadi koparabilirsiniz o anda kendisinden; oyna\u015f\u0131n\u0131, kendisine bask\u0131 yapmakla su\u00e7lar: kad\u0131n da onun cimrili\u011fini ay\u0131plar; b\u00f6ylece, ikisi de yaral\u0131d\u0131r. Bu konuda da birine \u00f6z\u00fcrler bulup \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne ilen\u00e7ler ya\u011fd\u0131rmak bo\u015funad\u0131r: adaletsizlik i\u00e7inde adalet sa\u011flanamaz. Bir s\u00f6m\u00fcrge valisinin yerli halka, bir generalin askerlerine iyi davranabilmesi olanaks\u0131zd\u0131r; tek \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm yolu, ne s\u00f6m\u00fcrge, ne de ba\u015f olmamaktad\u0131r; ama erkek olmamak erke\u011fin de elinde de\u011fildir.<\/p>\n
O zaman da, ister istemez su\u00e7ludur ve i\u015flemedi\u011fi bir su\u00e7un y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc ta\u015f\u0131maktad\u0131r; kad\u0131n da, ayn\u0131 bi\u00e7imde, istese de istemese de kurban ve canl\u0131d\u0131r; erkek, zaman zaman ba\u015fkald\u0131r\u0131r, kat\u0131 kalplili\u011fi se\u00e7er, ama o vakit de adaletsizli\u011fe ortak olur ve su\u00e7 ger\u00e7ekten kendisine d\u00fc\u015fer; kimi zamansa hakk\u0131n\u0131 arayan kurban\u0131n\u0131n kendisini hi\u00e7le\u015ftirmesine, yiyip yutmas\u0131na izin verir: o zaman da aldat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f hisseder kendini; \u00e7o\u011fu kez de, hem varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n bir par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131p g\u00f6t\u00fcren, hem de kendisini diken \u00fcst\u00fcnde ya\u015fatan bir orta yol tutar, \u00eeyiniyetli erkek, bug\u00fcnk\u00fc durumdan, kad\u0131ndan \u00e7ok daha fazla rahats\u0131z olacakt\u0131r: bir bak\u0131ma, yeniklerden olmak hemen her zaman \u00e7ok daha iyidir; ancak, kad\u0131n da iyiniyetliyse, kendi kendine yetemiyorsa, erke\u011fi yazg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alt\u0131nda ezmekten tiksiniyorsa, i\u00e7inden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131lmaz bir k\u00f6r kuyuda debelenip duracakt\u0131r. G\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fay\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131z s\u0131ras\u0131nda, doyurucu olmayan ko\u015fullarca belirlendikleri i\u00e7in insan\u0131 doyurucu bir \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcme g\u00f6t\u00fcrmeyen bir s\u00fcr\u00fc durumla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131r\u0131z: art\u0131k sevmedi\u011fi bir kad\u0131n\u0131 hem bedensel, hem ruhsal a\u00e7\u0131dan ya\u015fatmak zorunda oldu\u011funu g\u00f6ren bir erkek, bir haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kurban\u0131 sayar kendini; ama b\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 kendisine ba\u011flam\u0131\u015f bulunan kad\u0131n\u0131 kimsesiz ortada b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda ayn\u0131 haks\u0131zl\u0131\u011fa kad\u0131n u\u011frayacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
K\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck, bireysel sap\u0131kl\u0131ktan de\u011fil, ki\u015fisel davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n de\u011fi\u015ftiremeyece\u011fi toplumsal durumdan gelmektedir \u2014 ve her iki cins de k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc birbirine y\u00fcklemeye ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 an, k\u00f6t\u00fcniyet boyg\u00f6stermektedir. Kad\u0131nlar “yap\u0131\u015fkan”d\u0131rlar, erke\u011fin s\u0131rt\u0131na binerler ve bundan en \u00e7ok kendileri ac\u0131 duyarlar; \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc yazg\u0131lar\u0131, yabanc\u0131 bir organizmaya yap\u0131\u015f\u0131p onun ili\u011fini kemi\u011fini s\u00f6m\u00fcren bir asala\u011f\u0131nkine benzemektedir; onlar\u0131 da \u00f6zerk bir organizmaya sahip k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, d\u00fcnyayla bo\u011fu\u015facak, ondan kendi \u00f6zlerini \u00e7\u0131karacak duruma geldikleri an, ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 olmaktan kurtulacaklard\u0131r:
\nonlarla birlikte erkekler de tabi\u00ee. Ve hi\u00e7 ku\u015fkusuz, o zaman iki cins de daha sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 olacakt\u0131r. Erkeklerle kad\u0131nlar\u0131n e\u015fit olaca\u011f\u0131 bir toplum hayal etmek kolayd\u0131r, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc Sovyet devrimi insanlara bunu vaat etmi\u015fti: erkekler gibi e\u011fitilip yeti\u015ftirilen kad\u0131nlar, onlarla ayn\u0131 ko\u015fullarda2 \u00e7al\u0131\u015facak, ayn\u0131 \u00fccreti alacakt\u0131; cinsel \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck t\u00f6re i\u00e7ine girecek, ama sevi\u015fme art\u0131k “\u00fccreti \u00f6denen” bir hizmet olmayacakt\u0131; kad\u0131n\u0131n kendine, para kazanmak \u00fczere ba\u015fka bir i\u015f bulmas\u0131 gerekecekti: evlilik, kad\u0131nla erke\u011fin diledi\u011fi zaman bozabilecekleri kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 ve \u00f6zg\u00fcr bir ba\u011flanma olacakt\u0131; anal\u0131k serbest olacak, yani do\u011fum denetimi ile \u00e7ocuk ald\u0131rmaya izin verildi\u011fi gibi. b\u00fct\u00fcn analarla \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na, evli olsunlar olmas\u0131nlar, t\u0131pat\u0131p ayn\u0131 haklar sa\u011flanacakt\u0131; gebelik ve do\u011fum s\u0131ras\u0131nda kad\u0131nlara \u00fccretli izin verilecek, toplum \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n bak\u0131m\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcne alacak, yani \u00e7ocuk ana-baban\u0131n elinden al\u0131nacak, ama ortada b\u0131rak\u0131lmayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ancak, kad\u0131nla erke\u011fin ger\u00e7ekten e\u015fit olabilmeleri i\u00e7in yasalar\u0131, kurumlan, t\u00f6releri, toplumun g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fc ve b\u00fct\u00fcn toplumsal ortam\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek yeterli midir? Ku\u015fkucular: “Kad\u0131n, kad\u0131n olarak kalacakt\u0131r azizim”, demekteler, daha ba\u015fka falc\u0131larsa, kad\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131ndan s\u0131yr\u0131ld\u0131klar\u0131 zaman insan haline gelmek \u015f\u00f6yle dursun, birer canavar kesileceklerini ileri s\u00fcrmekte. Bunu demek, \u015fu anki kad\u0131n\u0131n do\u011fa taraf\u0131ndan yarat\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kabul etmek olur; \u015funu bir kez daha belirtmek zorunday\u0131z ki, insan toplulu\u011fundaki hi\u00e7bir \u015fey do\u011fal de\u011fildir ve b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6b\u00fcr varl\u0131klar gibi, kad\u0131n da uygarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir \u00fcr\u00fcnd\u00fcr: ba\u015fka bir varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yazg\u0131s\u0131na el at\u0131\u015f\u0131 insan\u0131n yery\u00fcz\u00fcnde belirdi\u011fi g\u00fcnden ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: bu el at\u0131\u015f ba\u015fka t\u00fcrl\u00fc olsayd\u0131, \u00e7ok daha ba\u015fka bir sonuca var\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Kad\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 hormonlar\u0131yla ya da bilinmeyen i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fclerle de\u011fil, yabanc\u0131 bilin\u00e7ler arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla kendi bedenini ve d\u00fcnyayla aras\u0131ndaki ilintiyi yakalay\u0131\u015f\u0131yla belirlenmektedir: gen\u00e7 k\u0131zla delikanl\u0131y\u0131 birbirinden ay\u0131ran u\u00e7urum, elbirli\u011fiyle, daha k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya\u015fta yarat\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: ondan sonra art\u0131k kad\u0131n\u0131n nas\u0131l yap\u0131ld\u0131ysa \u00f6yle olmas\u0131na engel olunamayacak ve o ge\u00e7mi\u015fini, bir kuyruk gibi, \u00f6lene dek ard\u0131nda s\u00fcr\u00fcyecektir; bu ge\u00e7mi\u015fin a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131na bak\u0131l\u0131rsa, kad\u0131n\u0131n al\u0131nyaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fck i\u00e7inde saptanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fclecektir, iktisad\u00ee durumunu de\u011fi\u015ftirmekle tepeden t\u0131rna\u011fa de\u011fi\u015fece\u011fini ummamak gerekir elbet; bu etken, her zaman i\u00e7in, evriminin en \u00f6nemli \u00f6\u011fesidir, ancak, bu etkenin haber verdi\u011fi ve bekledi\u011fi ahl\u00e2k\u00ee, toplumsal ve k\u00fclt\u00fcrel sonu\u00e7lar elde edilmedik\u00e7e, yeni kad\u0131n\u0131n ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131 olanaks\u0131zd\u0131r; \u015fu anda da bu sonu\u00e7lar ne Sovyetler Birli\u011fi’nde, ne Amerika Birle\u015fik Devletleri’nde, ne Fransa’da ne de ba\u015fka bu- yerde ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirilebilmi\u015ftir; bu y\u00fczden de, g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn kad\u0131n\u0131, ge\u00e7mi\u015fle gelecek aras\u0131nda bocalay\u0131p durmaktad\u0131r: \u00e7o\u011fu kez, erkek k\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na girmi\u015f “sahici bir kad\u0131n” gibi g\u00f6z\u00fckmekte, gerek kad\u0131nsa! yap\u0131s\u0131, gerek s\u0131rt\u0131ndaki erkek giysileri i\u00e7inde kendini rahats\u0131z hissetmektedir. Kendine yeni bir deri yaratmas\u0131, sonra da oturup buna g\u00f6re bir giysi dikmesi gerekmektedir. Bunu da ancak toplumun evriminden sonra ba\u015farabilir. Bug\u00fcn, hi\u00e7bir e\u011fitimci, tek ba\u015f\u0131na “erkek insan\u00ee varl\u0131k”a t\u0131pat\u0131p benzeyen bir “di\u015fi insan\u00ee varl\u0131k” yaratamaz: erkek gibi yeti\u015ftirilen bir gen\u00e7 k\u0131z kendini benzerlerinden ayr\u0131 hissetmekte, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla yine toplumun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda kendine \u00f6zg\u00fc bir varl\u0131k halinde kalmaktad\u0131r. “Ormandaki b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u011fa\u00e7lar\u0131 ayn\u0131 anda dikmek gerekir” diyen Stendhal bunu \u00e7ok iyi anlam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yoo, tam tersine, kad\u0131n erkek e\u015fitli\u011finin somut olarak ger\u00e7ekle\u015fece\u011fini ileri s\u00fcr\u00fcyorsak, o zaman, bu e\u015fitlik yine her bireyde ayr\u0131 ayr\u0131 ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
E\u011fer bir k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu, \u00e7ok k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya\u015ftan ba\u015flayarak erkek karde\u015finin yeti\u015ftirildi\u011fi ortamda, ayn\u0131 istekler ve onurlarla, ayn\u0131 ciddilik ve \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck i\u00e7inde, ayn\u0131 e\u011fitimi alarak, ayn\u0131 oyunlar\u0131 oynayarak yeti\u015ftirilirse. ayn\u0131 gelece\u011fe sahip bulunsa, \u00e7evresinde iki anlama yer b\u0131rakmayacak bi\u00e7imde e\u015fit kad\u0131nlarla erkekler bulunsayd\u0131, “i\u011fdi\u015f etme karma\u015fas\u0131” ile “Oidipus karma\u015fas\u0131’n\u0131n anlamlar\u0131 tepeden t\u0131rna\u011fa de\u011fi\u015firdi. Yuvan\u0131n madd\u00ee manev\u00ee sorumlulu\u011funu baba kadar y\u00fcklenen ana, ayn\u0131 s\u00fcrekli sayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011fa kavu\u015facakt\u0131: k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu \u00e7evresinde yaln\u0131z erkeklerin de\u011fil, her iki cinsin mal\u0131 olan bir d\u00fcnya bulacakt\u0131; duygu y\u00f6n\u00fcnden babas\u0131na e\u011filim duysa bile \u2014ki bu da pek belli de\u011fil ya, neyse\u2014 ona duyaca\u011f\u0131 sevgiye bir g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczl\u00fck duygusu de\u011fil, bir yar\u0131\u015fma iste\u011fi kar\u0131\u015facakt\u0131: gen\u00e7 k\u0131z edilginli\u011fe y\u00f6nelmeyecekti; \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma ve sporla de\u011ferini g\u00f6stermesine izin verilece\u011fi i\u00e7in, o\u011flan \u00e7ocuklar\u0131yla etkin olarak yan\u015fabilece\u011fi i\u00e7in \u2014elindeki vaatlerle \u00f6d\u00fcnlenen\u2014 erkeklik organ\u0131 yoklu\u011fu “a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k duygusu” yaratmayacakt\u0131; nitekim.<\/p>\n
Kafas\u0131na b\u00f6yle bir fikir sokulmasa ve erkekler kadar kad\u0131nlara da sayg\u0131 duymas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi \u00f6\u011fretilse, o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011funda da “b\u00fcy\u00fckl\u00fck duygusu” olmayacakt\u0131.3 B\u00f6ylece, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z, kendine hayranl\u0131k ve d\u00fc\u015f gibi k\u0131s\u0131r yollardan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k duygusunu \u00f6d\u00fcnlemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmayacak, kendini olmu\u015f bitmi\u015f bir veri diye g\u00f6rmeyecek, yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u015fle ilgilenecek, her i\u015fe canla ba\u015fla sar\u0131lacakt\u0131. E\u011fer \u00f6zg\u00fcr bir yeti\u015fkin insan gelece\u011fine a\u00e7\u0131k olsayd\u0131, gen\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131n erginlik \u00e7a\u011f\u0131n\u0131n da t\u0131pk\u0131 o\u011flan\u0131nki gibi kolayca a\u015f\u0131laca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 daha \u00f6nce belirtmi\u015ftim; ayl\u0131k rahats\u0131zl\u0131klar, bir anda kad\u0131nl\u0131k u\u00e7urumuna yuvarland\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in bu derece korku vermektedir kendisine; yazg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fc kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda b\u00f6ylesine korkulu bir tiksinti duymasayd\u0131, o k\u00f6rpecik cinselli\u011fini t\u0131pk\u0131 erkek \u00e7ocuk gibi rahat\u00e7a kabullenecekti; tutarl\u0131 bir cinsel e\u011fitimin bu bunal\u0131m\u0131 atlatmas\u0131nda b\u00fcy\u00fck yard\u0131m\u0131 dokunabilirdi. K\u0131z erkek birarada okutulsayd\u0131, o zaman, o y\u00fcce Erkek efsanesi do\u011famayacakt\u0131: g\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fam\u0131n i\u00e7li d\u0131\u015fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve hilesiz yar\u0131\u015flar bu efsaneyi y\u0131kmaya yetecekti.<\/p>\n
Karma \u00f6\u011fretime y\u00f6neltilen su\u00e7lamalar\u0131n alt\u0131nda hep cinsel tabular yatmaktad\u0131r; oysa \u00e7ocuktaki merak ve zevki yasaklamaya, bilin\u00e7alt\u0131na itmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmak bo\u015funad\u0131r; b\u00f6yle bir tutumla, olsa olsa birtak\u0131m doyurulmam\u0131\u015f arzular, musallat fikirler, sinir bozukluklar\u0131 do\u011furulur; gen\u00e7 k\u0131zlar\u0131n o a\u015f\u0131n duygululu\u011fu kendi cinslerine duyduklar\u0131 ate\u015fli sevgi, d\u00fc\u015fsel kara sevdalar ve bunlar\u0131n yanlar\u0131nda getirdikleri b\u00fct\u00fcn o sa\u00e7mal\u0131klar ve da\u011f\u0131lmalar, \u00e7ocuksu oyunlarla birka\u00e7 kesin ya\u015fant\u0131dan \u00e7ok, ama \u00e7ok daha fazla zararl\u0131d\u0131r. Erke\u011fe bir yar\u0131-tanr\u0131 de\u011fil de, yaln\u0131zca bir arkada\u015f, bir dost, bir e\u015f g\u00f6z\u00fcyle bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman gen\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck kazanc\u0131 kendi varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n sorumlulu\u011funu y\u00fcklenmekten ka\u00e7mamak olacakt\u0131r; cinsel ya\u015fam ve sevgi, kendi benli\u011finden istifa de\u011fil, \u00f6zg\u00fcr bir bi\u00e7imde kendini a\u015fma niteli\u011fine b\u00fcr\u00fcnecek; gen\u00e7 k\u0131z bunlar\u0131 e\u015fit iki varl\u0131k aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fki halinde ya\u015fayabilecektir. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylerken, bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun yeti\u015fkin insan olana dek kar\u015f\u0131la\u015faca\u011f\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckleri bir kalemde kald\u0131r\u0131p atm\u0131yoruz elbet, en ak\u0131ll\u0131, en ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fc e\u011fitim bile bir \u00e7ocu\u011fu, kendi ya\u015fant\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n bedelini \u00f6demekten kurtaramaz; bizim dile\u011fimiz, \u00f6n\u00fcne bo\u015f yere engel \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lmamas\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\u00dc\u00e7\u00fc de ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z ve etkin birer insan olan bir anne, bir teyze ve b\u00fcy\u00fckanne ile, yan k\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcm bir b\u00fcy\u00fckbaban\u0131n yan\u0131nda ya\u015fayan sekiz ya\u015f\u0131nda bir o\u011flan tan\u0131yorum. Annesinin b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7abalar\u0131na ra\u011fmen, m\u00fcthi\u015f bir “a\u015fa\u011f\u0131l\u0131k duygusu” i\u00e7inde. Okulda, zavall\u0131 birer erkek olduklar\u0131 i\u00e7in, arkada\u015flar\u0131yla \u00f6\u011fretmenlerini k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck g\u00f6rmekte.<\/p>\n
“G\u00fcnahk\u00e2r” k\u0131zlar\u0131 art\u0131k k\u0131zg\u0131n demirle da\u011flam\u0131yorlar, eh, bu da bir ilerlemedir elbet; ruh\u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlemesi, ana-babalar\u0131 az\u0131c\u0131k ayd\u0131nlatt\u0131; bununla birlikte, kad\u0131n\u0131n e\u011fitimi ve cinsel ya\u015fama haz\u0131rlan\u0131\u015f\u0131 \u015fu anda \u00f6yle k\u00f6t\u00fc ko\u015fullar alt\u0131nda yap\u0131lmaktad\u0131r ki, k\u00f6kl\u00fc bir de\u011fi\u015fim iste\u011fine kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lacak fikirlerin hi\u00e7biri ge\u00e7erli olamaz. Ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmek istedi\u011fimiz \u015fey insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu durumun olumsall\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 kad\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7ekip almak de\u011fil, asl\u0131nda ona bu olumsall\u0131k ve s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131 a\u015fabilme olana\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flamakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n, ak\u0131l s\u0131r ermez bir yazg\u0131n\u0131n kurban\u0131 de\u011fildir; ona \u00f6zellik kazand\u0131ran benzersizlikleri, ancak ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131klar\u0131 anlama g\u00f6re \u00f6nemlidir; de\u011fi\u015fik a\u00e7\u0131lardan bak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 an a\u015f\u0131lacakt\u0131r bu benzersizlikler; daha \u00f6nce g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz gibi, kad\u0131n, cinsel ya\u015fant\u0131s\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda erke\u011fin \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc hissetmekte \u2014 ve \u00e7o\u011fu kez bundan nefret etmektedir: buna bakarak, yumurtal\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n kendisini hep diz\u00fcst\u00fc ya\u015famaya mahkum etti\u011fi sonucuna varmak yanl\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Erke\u011fin sald\u0131rganl\u0131\u011f\u0131, ancak erkek \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc savunmaya yard\u0131mc\u0131 olan \u015fu dizgenin b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fc i\u00e7inde beylere \u00f6zg\u00fc bir ayr\u0131cal\u0131k haline gelmektedir; ve kad\u0131n, zaten ba\u015f\u0131ndan beri \u00f6yle oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7in, sevi\u015fme s\u0131ras\u0131nda edilgin hissetmektedir kendini, insan\u00ee sayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131na sahip \u00e7\u0131kan bir\u00e7ok \u00e7a\u011fda\u015f kad\u0131n, cinsel ya\u015famlar\u0131n\u0131 h\u00e2l\u00e2 bir k\u00f6lelik gelene\u011fi i\u00e7inde s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilmektedir: bu y\u00fczden de erke\u011fin alt\u0131na yatmak, onun i\u00e7lerine girdi\u011fini hissetmek a\u011f\u0131rlar\u0131na gitmekte, kurtulu\u015fu so\u011fuklu\u011fa s\u0131\u011f\u0131nmakta bulmaktad\u0131rlar; oysa ger\u00e7ek ba\u015fka t\u00fcrl\u00fc olsayd\u0131, sevi\u015fme s\u0131ras\u0131ndaki hareket ve du-rumlann ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 simgesel anlam da tepeden t\u0131rna\u011fa de\u011fi\u015fecekti: ili\u015fkilerinin bedelini parayla \u00f6deyen, erke\u011fe diledi\u011fini yapt\u0131ran bir kad\u0131n pek\u00e2l\u00e2 o y\u00fcce aylakl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan gurur duyabilir, somut olarak kendini harcayan erke\u011fi kendine k\u00f6le etti\u011fine inanabilir; \u00fcstelik, daha \u015fimdiden, yengi ve yenilgi kavramlar\u0131n\u0131n yerlerini kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 al\u0131\u015fveri\u015f d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesine b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131, cinsel dengenin kuruldu\u011fu bir\u00e7ok \u00e7ift var g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00f6n\u00fcnde.<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ekte, erkek de t\u0131pk\u0131 kad\u0131n gibi etten kemik-len yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla edilgin, hormonlar\u0131n\u0131n ve t\u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fcn oyunca\u011f\u0131, arzular\u0131n\u0131n kurban\u0131, kayg\u0131l\u0131 bir varl\u0131kt\u0131r; ve kad\u0131n da t\u0131pk\u0131 onun gibi, a\u015fk ate\u015finin g\u00f6be\u011finde yaln\u0131zca bedensel bir kabullenme, bile bile kendini sunu\u015f ve etkinliktir, ikisi de, kendi ba\u015flar\u0131na, kendilerine \u00f6zg\u00fc bir bi\u00e7imde, insan v\u00fccudu haline gelmi\u015f varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n garip iki anlaml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015famaktad\u0131rlar o anda. Birbirleriyle \u00e7at\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 sand\u0131klan kavgalarda, her biri, kendisinden nefret etti\u011fi yanlar\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine yans\u0131tarak, asl\u0131nda kendi kendisiyle sava\u015fmaktad\u0131r; kad\u0131n da, erkek de i\u00e7inde bulundu\u011fu durumun iki anlaml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fayacak yerde, pislikleri kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine y\u00fckleyip, \u015fanlar\u0131 \u015ferefleri kendisine ay\u0131rmaktad\u0131r. Oysa ikisi de insanl\u0131k durumunu al\u00e7akg\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc bir a\u00e7\u0131kg\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fl\u00fcl\u00fckle y\u00fcklenebilse, birbirlerinin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na benzer yarat\u0131klar olarak \u00e7\u0131kacak, cinsel dram\u0131 dostluk i\u00e7ersinde ya\u015fayacaklard\u0131, insan olmak, insanlar\u0131 birbirinden ay\u0131ran b\u00fct\u00fcn benzersizliklerden \u00e7ok daha fazla \u00f6nemlidir; insanlara \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fck sa\u011flayan, hi\u00e7bir zaman do\u011fan\u0131n verdi\u011fi \u015feyler de\u011fildir: eskilerin deyimiyle “erdem” bize ba\u011fl\u0131 olan \u015feylerle \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcr. Her iki cinste de ayn\u0131 bedensel ve ak\u0131lsal dram, ayn\u0131 bitimlilik ve a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k dram\u0131 oynamaktad\u0131r; zaman ikisini de a\u015f\u0131nd\u0131rmakta, \u00f6l\u00fcm yollar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zetmekte, birbirlerine ayn\u0131 temel ihtiya\u00e7la bakmaktad\u0131rlar; \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fcklerinden ayn\u0131 derecede gurur duyabilirler; bir kez bu \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn tad\u0131n\u0131 alsalar, bir daha \u00f6yle aldat\u0131c\u0131 ayr\u0131cal\u0131klar i\u00e7in \u00e7eki\u015f- mezlerdi; ve i\u015fte o zaman ger\u00e7ek bir karde\u015flik do\u011fard\u0131 aralar\u0131nda.<\/p>\n
B\u00fct\u00fcn bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler hayal, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc, “kad\u0131n\u0131 yeniden yaratabilmek” i\u00e7in, daha \u00f6nceden toplumun onu ger\u00e7ekten erke\u011fe e\u015fit k\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekir, denebilir; tutucular, her f\u0131rsatta ortaya atm\u0131\u015flard\u0131r bu k\u0131s\u0131rd\u00f6ng\u00fcy\u00fc: oysa tarih hep ayn\u0131 y\u00f6r\u00fcnge \u00fczerinde d\u00f6nmemektedir. Bir toplumsal kat\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da tutarsan\u0131z, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131da kal\u0131r elbet: ama \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck bu \u00e7emberi k\u0131rabilir; Zencilere oy hakk\u0131 tan\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z an, oy vermeye l\u00e2y\u0131k olurlar: bir kad\u0131na da birtak\u0131m sorumluluklar verirseniz, herkes gibi bunlar\u0131 y\u00fcklenmeyi bilecektir; \u015furas\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ektir ki, ezenlerden c\u00f6mert bir davran\u0131\u015f beklenemez; ancak, kimi zaman ezilenlerin ba\u015fkald\u0131r\u0131s\u0131, kimi zaman da ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131f\u0131n evrimi, yepyeni durumlar yaratmaktad\u0131r; nitekim, erkekler, s\u0131rf kendi \u00e7\u0131karlar\u0131 i\u00e7in kad\u0131nlara belli bir \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck tan\u0131mak zorunda kalm\u0131\u015flard\u0131r: \u015fimdi kad\u0131nlar\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn yapacaklar\u0131 y\u00fckselmeye devam etmektir, kazanacaklar\u0131 ba\u015far\u0131lar cesaretlerini art\u0131racakt\u0131r; \u00f6yle g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor ki, k\u0131sa ya da uzun bir s\u00fcre sonra kad\u0131nlar tam bir iktisad\u00ee ve toplumsal e\u015fitli\u011fe kavu\u015facaklar, bu da k\u00f6kl\u00fc bir de\u011fi\u015fime yol a\u00e7acakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Baz\u0131lar\u0131, yok azizim, b\u00f6yle bir d\u00fcnya kurulabilse bile, bu hi\u00e7. de arzulanacak bir \u015fey de\u011fil; kad\u0131n “t\u0131pat\u0131p” erke\u011fe benzedi\u011fi zaman, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n “tad\u0131 tuzu ka\u00e7acakt\u0131r” diyebilir. Ama bu kan\u0131t da yeni , de\u011fildir: \u015fu an’\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmekte \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131 olanlar, \u00f6teden beri, gencecik ge- lece\u011fe tatl\u0131 bir g\u00fcl\u00fc\u015f bile g\u00f6ndermeden \u00e7ekip gidecek olan harika ge\u00e7mi\u015fe bak\u0131p bak\u0131p a\u011flam\u0131\u015flard\u0131r, hal\u00e2 da a\u011flamaktad\u0131rlar. K\u00f6leli\u011fin ortadan kald\u0131r\u0131l\u0131\u015f\u0131yla, kamelya ve a\u00e7alyalarla s\u00fcsl\u00fc o g\u00fczelim tar\u0131m i\u015fletmeleri bo\u011fazlanm\u0131\u015f, G\u00fcney’in o narin uygarl\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerle bir edilmi\u015ftir elbet; eski danteller, zaman\u0131n tozlu tavanaralar\u0131nda, Sixtine Kilisesi’nde \u015fark\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen i\u011fdi\u015f edilmi\u015f o\u011flanlar\u0131n o billur sesinin yan\u0131n\u0131 boylam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ve “kad\u0131n \u00e7ekicili\u011finin belli bir yan\u0131 da tozlar aras\u0131na kar\u0131\u015fmak \u00fczeredir. Ender bulunan \u00e7i\u00e7eklerin, dantellerin, bir had\u0131m-a\u011fas\u0131n\u0131n o billur sesinin, kad\u0131n \u00e7ekicili\u011finin de\u011ferini kabul etmemenin barbarl\u0131k oldu\u011funda size kat\u0131l\u0131yorum elbet. Olanca g\u00f6rkemiyle ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman, “\u00e7ekici bir kad\u0131n,” Rimbaud’yu \u00e7ileden \u00e7\u0131karan “o salak\u00e7a resimlerden, kap\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fc s\u00fcslerinden, dekorlardan, panay\u0131r bezlerinden, halk il\u00e2nlar\u0131ndan ve \u0131\u015f\u0131kland\u0131rmalar\u0131ndan” \u00e7ok daha co\u015fturucudur tabi\u00ee; en yeni s\u00fcslerle bezendi\u011fi, en son tekniklere g\u00f6re i\u015flendi\u011fi zaman, ta \u00e7a\u011flar \u00f6tesinden, Tebai’den, Minas’tan Chichen Itza’dan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gelmi\u015f bir kad\u0131na benzer; bu g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyle, ayn\u0131 zamanda Afrika’n\u0131n balta girmemi\u015f ormanlar\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6be\u011fine yerle\u015ftirilmi\u015f bir totemi de and\u0131r\u0131r; bir helikopter, bir ku\u015ftur o; ama as\u0131l mucize ba\u015fkad\u0131r: boyal\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 alt\u0131nda yapraklar\u0131n tatl\u0131 h\u0131\u015f\u0131rt\u0131s\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce haline gelir ve meme u\u00e7lar\u0131ndan insan\u0131 kendinden ge\u00e7iren s\u00f6zler d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcr. Erkekler, ellerini a\u00e7\u0131p bu harika varl\u0131\u011fa do\u011fru uzat\u0131rlar; ama dokunduklar\u0131 an ne mucize kal\u0131r ortada, ne bir \u015fey; insan\u0131n kar\u0131s\u0131 ya da oyna\u015f\u0131, herkes gibi, a\u011fz\u0131yla konu\u015fur; s\u00f6zlerinin de\u011feri neyse odur; memeleri de \u00f6yle. B\u00f6ylesine u\u00e7ucu \u2014ve ender\u2014 bir mucize, her iki cinse de zarar veren bir durumu s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmeye de\u011fer mi? insan \u00e7i\u00e7eklerin g\u00fczelli\u011fini, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n \u00e7ekicili\u011fini de de\u011ferlendirebilir, hem de tam l\u00e2y\u0131k olduklar\u0131 bi\u00e7imde; e\u011fer bu hazineler insano\u011fluna kana ve mutsuzlu\u011fa maloluyorsa, onlardan ge\u00e7meyi bilmek gerekir.<\/p>\n
Bu \u00f6zverinin erkeklere pek a\u011f\u0131r geldi\u011fi bir ger\u00e7ektir: kad\u0131n\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcnlemesini y\u00fcrekten isteyen erkek pek azd\u0131r; kad\u0131n\u0131 horg\u00f6renler, bu b\u00fct\u00fcnlenmenin sonunda neler kazanacaklar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rememekte, kad\u0131n\u0131 el \u00fcst\u00fcnde tutanlarsa yitirecekleri \u015feyleri g\u00f6zlerinde b\u00fcy\u00fctmektedirler; ve asl\u0131nda, \u015fimdiki gidi\u015f yaln\u0131z kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ekicili\u011fini tehdit etmemektedir: kad\u0131n, salt kendisi i\u00e7in ya\u015famaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 an, kendisine erkek d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 bir yer sa\u011flayan o g\u00f6lge, arac\u0131 olma g\u00f6revinden istifa edecektir; do\u011fan\u0131n suskunlu\u011fu ile \u00f6b\u00fcr \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fcklerin kendisinden bir \u015feyler bekleyen varl\u0131\u011f\u0131 aras\u0131nda kalm\u0131\u015f bulunan erkek i\u00e7in, hem kendisine benzeyen, hem de hi\u00e7bir etkinlikte bulunmayan kad\u0131n e\u015fsiz bir hazinedir; ya\u015fam arkada\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fsel bir g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f alt\u0131nda yakalamas\u0131, kad\u0131n\u0131n kaynakl\u0131k etti\u011fi ya da yol a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131n ger\u00e7ek olmas\u0131na engel de\u011fildir: ve bu ya\u015fant\u0131lardan daha de\u011ferli, daha yak\u0131c\u0131, daha \u00f6zl\u00fc ba\u015fka bir* \u015fey yoktur yery\u00fcz\u00fcnde; kad\u0131n\u0131n ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n, de\u011fersizli\u011finin, mutsuzlu\u011funun bu ya\u015fant\u0131lar\u0131 benzersiz k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yads\u0131yamay\u0131z elbet; kad\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6zerkli\u011fi, hi\u00e7 ku\u015fku’ yok ki, erkekleri bir s\u00fcr\u00fc s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131dan kurtarmakla birlikte, bir s\u00fcr\u00fc kolayl\u0131\u011f\u0131 da ellerinden alacakt\u0131r; ve yine ku\u015fku yok ki, yar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fcnyas\u0131nda baz\u0131 cinsel ser\u00fcvenler ortadan kalkacakt\u0131r: ama bu, a\u015fk\u0131n, mutlulu\u011fun, \u015fiirin, d\u00fc\u015f’\u00fcn de kap\u0131 d\u0131\u015far\u0131 edilece\u011fi anlam\u0131na gelmez.<\/p>\n
Hayalg\u00fcc\u00fc yetersizli\u011fimizin gelece\u011fi \u0131ss\u0131z bir \u00e7\u00f6le \u00e7evirmemesine dikkat etmeliyiz; gelecek bizim i\u00e7in, bir soyutlamadan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildir; her birimiz onda, \u015fimdiye kadarki varl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bulunmayaca\u011f\u0131na bozuluyoruz asl\u0131nda; yar\u0131n\u0131n insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131ysa bu gelece\u011fi etiyle kemi\u011fiyle \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc i\u00e7inde ya\u015fayacak, bu gelecek zaman onun \u015fimdiki zaman\u0131 olacak, o g\u00fcn\u00fcn insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 da kendi zaman\u0131n\u0131 ye\u011fleyecektir; cinsler aras\u0131nda, bug\u00fcn bizim akl\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n k\u00f6\u015fesinden bile ge\u00e7meyen bedensel ve duygusal ili\u015fkiler kurulacakt\u0131r: daha \u015fimdiden, kad\u0131nlarla erkekler aras\u0131nda, ge\u00e7mi\u015f y\u00fczy\u0131llar\u0131n hayal bile edemeyece\u011fi, cinsel ya da de\u011fil, bir s\u00fcr\u00fc dostluklar, yar\u0131\u015flar, su\u00e7 ortakl\u0131klar\u0131, arkada\u015fl\u0131klar do\u011fmu\u015ftur. Hele gelece\u011fin d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 tek bi\u00e7imlili\u011fe, yani can s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131na mahk\u00fbm eden \u015fu uyduruk propagandaya asla kat\u0131lm\u0131yorum. Ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z d\u00fcnyada can s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n bol bol bulundu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm gibi, \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn nas\u0131l olup da tek bi\u00e7imlili\u011fe yol a\u00e7aca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlayam\u0131yorum do\u011frusu. Bir kere, kad\u0131nla erkek aras\u0131nda, sonsuza dek birtak\u0131m ayr\u0131mlar olacakt\u0131r; cinsel ya\u015fam\u0131, dolay\u0131s\u0131yla cinsel d\u00fcnyas\u0131 erke\u011fin-kinden ayr\u0131 oldu\u011funa g\u00f6re, kad\u0131nda hep ayr\u0131 bir duyarl\u0131l\u0131k, ayr\u0131 bir nefis d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bulunacakt\u0131r: kendi v\u00fccudu, erke\u011fin ve \u00e7ocu\u011fun v\u00fccudu ile ilintileri, hi\u00e7bir zaman erkekle kendi v\u00fccudu, kad\u0131n\u0131n ve \u00e7ocu\u011fun v\u00fccudu aras\u0131ndaki ilintiye benzemeyecektir; hi\u00e7 durmadan “ayr\u0131l\u0131k i\u00e7inde e\u015fitlik”ten s\u00f6z edenler, benim, e\u015fitlik i\u00e7inde de ayr\u0131l\u0131klar olabilir deyi\u015fimi kabul etmezlerse ay\u0131p olur do\u011frusu.<\/p>\n
\u00d6te yandan, tekd\u00fczeli\u011fi yaratan \u015fey kurumlard\u0131r, gen\u00e7 ve g\u00fczel cariyelerin hepsi Sultan’\u0131n kollar\u0131nda birbirinin ayn\u0131d\u0131r; H\u0131ristiyanl\u0131k, erke\u011fin di\u015fisine de bir ruh ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamakla, cinsel ya\u015fama g\u00fcnah\u0131n ve efsanenin tad\u0131n\u0131 getirmi\u015ftir; kad\u0131na y\u00fcce egemenli\u011fini geri verdi\u011fimiz zaman, sevi\u015fmelerin duygusal yan\u0131 u\u00e7up gitmez ki. Kad\u0131nla erkek somut olarak e\u015fit hale geldi\u011fi g\u00fcn c\u00fcmb\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn, g\u00fcnah\u0131n, co\u015fkunun, tutkunun ortadan kalkaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ileri s\u00fcrmek sa\u00e7mad\u0131r; ten’le akl\u0131, an’la zaman\u0131, i\u00e7kinli\u011fin verdi\u011fi ba\u015fd\u00f6nmesiyle a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, zevkin mut-lakl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla unutu\u015fun hi\u00e7li\u011fini kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya getiren \u00e7eli\u015fmeler hi\u00e7bir zaman ortadan kalkmayacakt\u0131r; varolu\u015fun gerilimi, parampar\u00e7a olu\u015fu, zevki, bozgunu ve zaferi, d\u00fcnya batana dek, hep cinsel ya\u015famda somutla\u015facakt\u0131r. Kad\u0131n\u0131 kurtarmak, \u00f6zg\u00fcr k\u0131lmak, onu erkekle aras\u0131ndaki ilintilerin darac\u0131k d\u00fcnyas\u0131na kapatmamak demektir, yoksa bu ilintileri yads\u0131mak de\u011fil, kad\u0131n kendisi i\u00e7in varolmaya ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 an, erkek i\u00e7in de .varolmaya devam edecektir: iki cins de, hem birbirlerini \u00f6zne olarak kabul edecek, hem de kar\u015f\u0131lar\u0131ndaki varl\u0131k i\u00e7in ba\u015fkas\u0131 olarak kalacakt\u0131r; ili\u015fkilerindeki kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131k, insano\u011fullar\u0131n\u0131n birbirinden ayr\u0131 iki kategoryaya b\u00f6l\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn do\u011furdu\u011fu arzu, tutku, a\u015fk, d\u00fc\u015f, ser\u00fcven gibi mucizeleri yoketmeyecektir; ve hepimizi heyecanland\u0131ran vermek, elde etmek, birle\u015fmek gibi s\u00f6zc\u00fckler yine ayn\u0131 anlama gelecektir; insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yans\u0131n\u0131n k\u00f6leli\u011fi ve bunun getirdi\u011fi b\u00fct\u00fcn o ikiy\u00fczl\u00fcl\u00fck yokedildi\u011fi zaman, i\u015fte o zaman ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacakt\u0131r insanl\u0131k denen “varl\u0131k kesimi”nin ger\u00e7ek anlam\u0131 ve yine ancak o zaman kad\u0131nla erkek arkada\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcz\u00fcne kavu\u015facakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n
“insanla insan aras\u0131ndaki en dolays\u0131z, en do\u011fal, en gerekli ilinti, kad\u0131nla erkek aras\u0131ndaki ilinti’dir,” der Marx. “insano\u011flunun kendini t\u00fcrsel bir varl\u0131k, yani insan olarak anlama derecesi i\u015fte bu ilintiye bak\u0131larak \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fcr; kad\u0131nla erkek aras\u0131ndaki ilinti, insano\u011fullar\u0131 aras\u0131ndaki ilintilerin en do\u011fal\u0131d\u0131r. Bu y\u00fczden de, insano\u011flunun davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ne denli insan\u00eele\u015fti\u011fi, ya da insan\u00ee varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n ne denli do\u011falla\u015fti\u011f\u0131, insan\u00ee yarat\u0131l\u0131\u015f’\u0131n\u0131n ne \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde kendi yap\u0131s\u0131 haline geldi\u011fi en iyi i\u015fte bu ilintide g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcr.”<\/p>\n
Bundan iyisi can sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131, insano\u011flu, \u015fu anda elimizin alt\u0131nda bulunan d\u00fcnyada ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirecektir \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn egemenli\u011fini; bu y\u00fcce yengiyi kazanabilmek i\u00e7in, her \u015feyden \u00f6nce, erkeklerle kad\u0131nlar\u0131n, aralar\u0131ndaki ayr\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131 bir yana b\u0131rak\u0131p, yalans\u0131z dolans\u0131z bir karde\u015flik kurmalar\u0131 gerekmektedir.<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n | \u0130kinci Cins (Sonu\u00e7) – Simone de Beauvoir<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"“Hay\u0131r, kad\u0131n karde\u015fimiz de\u011fildir bizim; tembellik y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, ba\u015ftan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p ahl\u00e2k\u0131n\u0131 tozarak apayr\u0131 bir varl\u0131k haline getirmi\u015fiz onu; ne oldu\u011fu bilinmeyen, cinselli\u011finden ba\u015fka sil\u00e2h\u0131 bulunmayan bir varl\u0131k… cinsellikse, s\u00fcrekli bir sava\u015f olmaktan ba\u015fka, ayr\u0131ca d\u00fcnya kurulal\u0131 beri zincirlerinden kurtulamam\u0131\u015f bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck k\u00f6lenin \u2014erkekten nefret eden ya da ona tapan, ama i\u00e7ten bir ya\u015fam arkada\u015f\u0131 olamayan, kafas\u0131na […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[176],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-7131","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-kadin-a-dair"},"yoast_head":"\n
Hi\u00e7bir bedensel yazg\u0131, erkek'le kad\u0131n'\u0131 sonsuz bir \u00e7eki\u015fmeye zorlamamaktad\u0131r | Simone de Beauvoir - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hi\u00e7bir bedensel yazg\u0131, erkek'le kad\u0131n'\u0131 sonsuz bir \u00e7eki\u015fmeye zorlamamaktad\u0131r | Simone de Beauvoir\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"“Hay\u0131r, kad\u0131n karde\u015fimiz de\u011fildir bizim; tembellik y\u00fcz\u00fcnden, ba\u015ftan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p ahl\u00e2k\u0131n\u0131 tozarak apayr\u0131 bir varl\u0131k haline getirmi\u015fiz onu; ne oldu\u011fu bilinmeyen, cinselli\u011finden ba\u015fka sil\u00e2h\u0131 bulunmayan bir varl\u0131k… cinsellikse, s\u00fcrekli bir sava\u015f olmaktan ba\u015fka, ayr\u0131ca d\u00fcnya kurulal\u0131 beri zincirlerinden kurtulamam\u0131\u015f bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck k\u00f6lenin \u2014erkekten nefret eden ya da ona tapan, ama i\u00e7ten bir ya\u015fam arkada\u015f\u0131 olamayan, kafas\u0131na […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"narteks.net\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-08-10T09:27:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-04-27T08:16:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/narteks.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/simone_de_beauvoir2-150x150.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Tar\u0131k\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@narteks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@narteks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Yazan:\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Tar\u0131k\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Tahmini okuma s\u00fcresi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"42 dakika\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Tar\u0131k\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/#\/schema\/person\/61f37d9834294b72d31d274e7ed79bca\"},\"headline\":\"Hi\u00e7bir bedensel yazg\u0131, erkek’le kad\u0131n’\u0131 sonsuz bir \u00e7eki\u015fmeye zorlamamaktad\u0131r | Simone de Beauvoir\",\"datePublished\":\"2018-08-10T09:27:22+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-04-27T08:16:29+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/\"},\"wordCount\":8407,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/narteks.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/simone_de_beauvoir2-150x150.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Kad\u0131na Dair\"],\"inLanguage\":\"tr\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/10\/hicbir-bedensel-yazgi-erkek-le-kadin-i-sonsuz-bir-cekismeye-zorlamamaktadir-simone-de-beauvoir\/\",\"name\":\"Hi\u00e7bir bedensel yazg\u0131, erkek'le kad\u0131n'\u0131 sonsuz bir \u00e7eki\u015fmeye zorlamamaktad\u0131r | Simone de Beauvoir - 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