{"id":7140,"date":"2018-08-15T22:44:07","date_gmt":"2018-08-15T19:44:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2018\/08\/15\/kendine-hayran-kadin-simone-de-beauvoir\/"},"modified":"2024-04-27T07:03:28","modified_gmt":"2024-04-27T04:03:28","slug":"kendine-hayran-kadin-simone-de-beauvoir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/15\/kendine-hayran-kadin-simone-de-beauvoir\/","title":{"rendered":"Kendine Hayran Kad\u0131n | Simone de Beauvoir"},"content":{"rendered":"![\"\"](\"http:\/\/narteks.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/simone_de_beauvoir2-150x150.jpg\")
Zaman zaman, kendine hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kad\u0131n\u0131n temel tutumu oldu\u011fu ileri s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr;(1) Ancak bu kavram\u0131 gere\u011finden fazla geni\u015fletip yaymak, La Rochefoucauld’nun bencillik kavram\u0131na yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi, onu y\u0131kmak olur. Ger\u00e7ekte, kendine hayranl\u0131k, \u00e7ok belirli bir yabanc\u0131la\u015fma s\u00fcrecidir: ben mutlak bir erek olarak al\u0131nmakta, \u00f6zne bunun i\u00e7ine ka\u00e7\u0131p saklanmaktad\u0131r. Kad\u0131nda, buna benzer \u2014sahici ya da de\u011fil\u2014 daha ba\u015fka bir s\u00fcr\u00fc tutum vard\u0131r: bunlar\u0131n bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 yukarda inceledik. Yaln\u0131z \u015furas\u0131 bir ger\u00e7ektir ki, durum ve ko\u015fullar kad\u0131n\u0131, erkekten daha \u00e7ok kendine e\u011filmeye, sevgisini kendine \u00e7evirmeye itmektedir.<\/p>\n
Her sevgide, bir \u00f6zne-nesne ikilemesi gereklidir. Kad\u0131n, ayn\u0131 noktada birle\u015fen iki ayr\u0131 yoldan y\u00f6nelir kendine hayran olmaya. \u00d6zne olarak kendini bir s\u00fcr\u00fc \u015feyden yoksun hisseder; k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken, bir o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011fu i\u00e7in alter ego (ba\u015fka ben) yerine ge\u00e7en erkeklik organ\u0131ndan yoksundur; b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fckten sonraysa, sald\u0131rgan cinselli\u011fi doyumsuz kal\u0131r. Ve daha da \u00f6nemlisi, erkek etkinlikleri kendisine yasakt\u0131r. O da birtak\u0131m i\u015flerle u\u011fra\u015f\u0131r, ama hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmaz; kad\u0131nl\u0131k, anal\u0131k, ev-kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi i\u015flerde, \u00f6b\u00fcr insanlardan ayr\u0131lan bir varl\u0131k olarak ortaya \u00e7\u0131kamaz. Erke\u011fin do\u011frusu, kurdu\u011fu evlerde, kesti\u011fi ormanlarda, iyile\u015ftirdi\u011fi hastalardad\u0131r: kendini birtak\u0131m tasar\u0131 ve ereklerde b\u00fct\u00fcn-leyemeyen kad\u0131n, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ki\u015fili\u011finin i\u00e7kinli\u011finde yakalamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015facakt\u0131r elbet. Sieyes’in l\u00e2f\u0131n\u0131 yans\u0131layan Marie B\u00e2shkirtseff(2)<\/p>\n
“aynaya yans\u0131yan g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcmle \u00f6v\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmden daha az \u00f6v\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm… Ancak bedensel zevk insan\u0131n ruhunu b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fcyle doyurur.”<\/p>\n
Buradaki “bedensel zevk” s\u00f6z\u00fc belirsiz ve yersizdir. Ruhu doyuran \u015fey, \u015fudur: onun, ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 nitelikleri ortaya koyabilmek i\u00e7in birtak\u0131m kan\u0131tlar g\u00f6stermesi gerekir, oysa y\u00fcz, hemen \u015fu anda \u00f6n\u00fcm\u00fczdedir, ku\u015fkuya yer b\u0131rakmayacak bi\u00e7imde elimizin alt\u0131ndad\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn gelecek, \u00e7er\u00e7evesi bir evren meydana getiren \u015fu \u0131\u015f\u0131kl\u0131 \u00f6rt\u00fc i\u00e7indedir; bu dar s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, nesneler karanl\u0131k ve d\u00fczensiz bir u\u00e7urumdan ba\u015fka bir \u015fey de\u011fildirler; d\u00fcnya, i\u00e7inde bir imgenin, Biricik varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n yans\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015fu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck cam par\u00e7as\u0131na indirgenmi\u015ftir. Aynadaki g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fc i\u00e7inde bo\u011fulup giden kad\u0131n, zaman ve uzay\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, tek ba\u015f\u0131na, diledi\u011fi gibi egemendir; erkekler, servet, \u015fan \u015feref ve \u015fehvet, her \u015fey onun hakk\u0131d\u0131r. Marie Baskhkirtseff g\u00fczelli\u011fiyle \u00f6ylesine sarho\u015ftu ki, onu, \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcmez bir mermere d\u00f6kmek istiyordu; b\u00f6ylece kendini \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczle\u015ftirmi\u015f olacakt\u0131:<\/p>\n
Eve d\u00f6n\u00fcp soyunuyor, \u00fcst\u00fcmdekilerin hepsini \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor ve o g\u00fcne dek hi\u00e7 g\u00f6rmemi\u015fim gibi, v\u00fccudumun g\u00fczelli\u011fi kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u015fa\u015f\u0131yorum. Heykelimi yapt\u0131rmal\u0131 ama nas\u0131l? Evlenmeden olacak i\u015f de\u011fil. Ve hemen, mutlaka evlenmeliyim, yoksa gittik\u00e7e \u00e7irkinle\u015fip bozulaca\u011f\u0131m… S\u0131rf heykelimi yapt\u0131rmak i\u00e7in bile olsa, bir koca bulmal\u0131y\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Sevgilisiyle bulu\u015fmak \u00fczere haz\u0131rlanan Cecile Sorel(3) \u015f\u00f6yle anlat\u0131yor kendini:<\/p>\n
Aynam\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcndeyim. \u00c7ok daha g\u00fczel olmak isterdim. Aslan yelesinden yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f f\u0131r\u00e7amla sa\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 tar\u0131yorum. Tara\u011f\u0131mdan k\u0131v\u0131lc\u0131mlar f\u0131\u015fk\u0131r\u0131yor. Ba\u015f\u0131m, alt\u0131n sar\u0131s\u0131 \u0131\u015f\u0131nlara benzeyen kabar\u0131k sa\u00e7lar\u0131m aras\u0131nda tam anlam\u0131yla bir g\u00fcne\u015f gibi duruyor.<\/p>\n
Ben de, bir sabah, bir kahvenin tuvaletinde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm bir gen\u00e7 k\u0131z\u0131 hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum; elinde bir g\u00fcl vard\u0131 ve az\u0131c\u0131k sarho\u015f gibiydi; dudaklar\u0131n\u0131, i\u00e7indeki g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcy\u00fc i\u00e7mek istercesine aynaya yakla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor, g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek: “Harikay\u0131m can\u0131m, harika!” diye m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131yordu. Hem rahibe, hem put olan kendine hayran kad\u0131n, \u015fanlar \u015ferefler i\u00e7inde, \u00f6l\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn g\u00f6be\u011finde y\u00fczmekte, bulutlar\u0131n \u00f6te yan\u0131ndaki yarat\u0131klar, diz \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcp ona hayran olmaktad\u0131rlar: o, kendi imgesini seyreden Tanr\u0131’d\u0131r. Madam Mejerowsky: “Bay\u0131l\u0131yorum kendime, kendi kendimin Tanr\u0131’s\u0131y\u0131m ben!” diyordu. Tanr\u0131’la\u015fmak, kendi-i\u00e7in varl\u0131kla ken-dinde-varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n o olanaks\u0131z bire\u015fimini ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirmektir: bireyin bunu ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirdi\u011fini sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 anlar, onun i\u00e7in, sevin\u00e7le, co\u015fkuyla, b\u00fct\u00fcnsellikle dolu ender anlard\u0131r. Roussell, 19 ya\u015f\u0131ndayken bir g\u00fcn, bir tavan aras\u0131nda, ba\u015f\u0131na \u00fcn \u00e7elenginin kondu\u011funu hissetti: bir daha da iyile\u015fmedi. Aynan\u0131n i\u00e7inde, kendi ki\u015fisel \u00e7izgilerine b\u00fcr\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f \u2014ve aynca, inanc\u0131na g\u00f6re kendi \u00f6z bilinci taraf\u0131ndan canl\u0131 hale getirilmi\u015f\u2014 olan g\u00fczelli\u011fi, arzuyu, a\u015fk\u0131 ve mutlulu\u011fu g\u00f6ren k\u0131zsa, \u00f6mr\u00fc boyunca, bu g\u00f6z kama\u015ft\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131nlaman\u0131n vaatlar\u0131n\u0131 t\u00fcketmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015facakt\u0131r. Maria Bashkirtseff, bir g\u00fcn, aynadaki imgesine: “Sevdi\u011fim sensin,” diye itirafta bulunur. Ba\u015fka bir g\u00fcnse: “Kendimi \u00f6ylesine seviyor, \u00f6ylesine mutlu ediyorum ki, ak\u015fam yeme\u011finde deli gibiyim,” diye yazar. Kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fczelli\u011fi kusursuz de\u011filse bile, y\u00fcz\u00fcnde, ruhunun benzersiz zenginliklerinin \u0131\u015f\u0131ldad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6recek ve bu akl\u0131n\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131ndan almaya yetecektir. Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 romanda Valerie ad\u0131 alt\u0131nda kendisini anlatan Madam Kr\u00fcdener(4) \u015funlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylemektedir:<\/p>\n
Onda, bug\u00fcne dek hi\u00e7bir kad\u0131nda g\u00f6rmedi\u011fim \u00f6zel bir \u015fey var. Bir\u00e7ok insan onun kadar \u00e7ekici, hatt\u00e2 \u00e7ok daha g\u00fczel olabilir, ama yine de ona benzeyemez. Kimse ona tapm\u0131yor belki, ama \u00f6yle eri\u015filmez, \u00f6yle sevimli bir yan\u0131 var ki, herkesin ilgisini \u00e7ekmekte. Onun bu \u00e7\u0131tk\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131m, ince halini g\u00f6rd\u00fckten sonra, insan\u0131n d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce gibi kad\u0131n diyesi geliyor…<\/p>\n
En \u00e7irkin kad\u0131nlar\u0131n bile, zaman zaman, ayna-kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda kendilerinden ge\u00e7ebilmelerine \u015fa\u015fmak yanl\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: onlar, hemen orac\u0131kta, g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde duran, etten kemikten yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f varl\u0131k kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda heyecanlanmaktad\u0131rlar; t\u0131pk\u0131 erkekler gibi, taze bir di\u015fi etinin katk\u0131s\u0131z c\u00f6mertli\u011fi g\u00f6zlerini kama\u015ft\u0131rmaya yetmektedir; ve kendilerini benzersiz bir \u00f6zne olarak hissettiklerine g\u00f6re, az\u0131c\u0131k k\u00f6t\u00fcniyetle, kendilerine \u00f6zg\u00fc niteliklere e\u015fi benzeri bulunmayan bir \u00e7ekicilik kat\u0131verecek-lerdir; y\u00fczlerinde ya da v\u00fccutlar\u0131nda, hi\u00e7 kimsede olmayan, tatl\u0131, \u00e7arp\u0131c\u0131 bir \u00e7izgi buluvereceklerdir; yaln\u0131zca kad\u0131n olduklar\u0131n\u0131 hissetmeleri, g\u00fczelliklerine inand\u0131racakt\u0131r onlar\u0131.<\/p>\n
Ayr\u0131ca ayna, ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen, bircik ikileme arac\u0131 de\u011fildir. Her insan, i\u00e7 konu\u015fmalar\u0131nda, kendine bir ikiz karde\u015f yaratmay\u0131 deneyebilir. G\u00fcn\u00fcn b\u00fcy\u00fck bir k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 tek ba\u015f\u0131na ge\u00e7iren, ev i\u015flerinden s\u0131k\u0131lan kad\u0131n\u0131n, hayalinde kendine diledi\u011fi gibi bir ki\u015filik \u00e7izmek i\u00e7in bol bol zaman\u0131 vard\u0131r. Gen\u00e7 k\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, gelece\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp d\u00fc\u015f kurmaktayd\u0131; belirsiz bir \u015fimdiki zamana hapsedildikten sonra, oturur, ba\u015f\u0131ndan ge\u00e7enleri anlat\u0131r kendine; sa\u011f\u0131m solunu de\u011fi\u015ftirip estetik bir d\u00fczen katar bu \u00f6yk\u00fcye, olumsal ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden ba\u015flay\u0131p geriye do\u011fru uzanarak, bir al\u0131nyaz\u0131s\u0131 haline d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
Daha bir\u00e7ok \u00f6zelliklerinin yan\u0131nda, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n ne kadar \u00e7o\u011funun, \u00e7ocukluk an\u0131lar\u0131na ba\u011fl\u0131 bulunduklar\u0131n\u0131 hepimiz biliriz; kad\u0131nlar\u0131n yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 edebiyat eserleri bunun kan\u0131t\u0131d\u0131r; erkeklerin ya\u015fam \u00f6yk\u00fclerinde, \u00e7ocukluk, genel olarak ikinci plandad\u0131r; kad\u0131nlarsa, tam tersine, \u00e7o\u011funlukl,a yaln\u0131z k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ya\u015flarda ba\u015flar\u0131ndan ge\u00e7enleri anlat\u0131rlar; bu y\u0131llar, romanlar\u0131n\u0131n, masallar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fl\u0131ca malzemesidir. Kad\u0131n dostlar\u0131ndan birine ya da sevgilisine ya\u015fam \u00f6yk\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc anlatan kad\u0131n, hemen her zaman: “K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde…” diyerek s\u00f6ze ba\u015flar. Onulmaz bir \u00f6zlem duyarlar o \u00e7a\u011fa. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o \u00e7a\u011fda, hem ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n tad\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmakta, hem de ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnde, iyiliklerine \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan baba elinin varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetmekteydiler; yeti\u015fkin insanlarca korunan ve do\u011frulanan bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131zlar, \u00f6nlerinde a\u00e7\u0131k bir gelecek bulunan \u00f6zerk bireylerdiler: \u015fimdiyse, evlilik ya da a\u015fk onlar\u0131 yeterince koruyamamakta, \u015fimdiki zaman\u0131n tutsa\u011f\u0131, birer hizmet\u00e7i ya da nesne halinde ya\u015famaktad\u0131rlar. \u00c7ocukken b\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyaya egemendiler, her g\u00fcn yeni bir par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131 ele ge\u00e7iliyorlard\u0131: \u015fimdiyse evrenden kopar\u0131l\u0131p ayr\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, i\u00e7kinli\u011fe, durmadan ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri tekrarlamaya mahk\u00fbm edilmi\u015flerdir. Tanr\u0131’n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcnden d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f gibi hissetmektedirler kendilerini.<\/p>\n
Ama en \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fckleri \u015fey, genellik i\u00e7inde yitip gitmi\u015f olmalar\u0131d\u0131r: milyonlarca kad\u0131n aras\u0131ndaki bir kan, bir ana, bir evkad\u0131n\u0131, bir kad\u0131nd\u0131rlar; oysa \u00e7ocukken, her biri, kendi durumunu apayr\u0131 bir bi\u00e7imde ya\u015fam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r; o \u00e7a\u011fda, d\u00fcnya konusunda bildikleriyle arkada\u015flann\u0131nki aras\u0131ndaki benzerliklerin fark\u0131nda de\u011fildi hen\u00fcz, anas\u0131 babas\u0131, \u00f6\u011fretmenleri, k\u0131z arkada\u015flar\u0131 onu ayr\u0131 birey diye g\u00f6r\u00fcyor o da kendisini kimseyle k\u0131yaslanmaz, kimsenin elde edemeyece\u011fi yazg\u0131lara a\u00e7\u0131k, e\u015fsiz bir varl\u0131k gibi hissediyordu. Kad\u0131n, \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnden, gereklili\u011finden, egemenli\u011finden vazge\u00e7ti\u011fi ve bir bak\u0131ma ihanet etti\u011fi bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck k\u0131z-karde\u015fe bakarken heyecan duymaktad\u0131r. B\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcp kad\u0131n haline gelen bu insan, \u00f6zlemle eski g\u00fcnlerini aramaktad\u0131r; i\u00e7inde \u00f6l\u00fcp gitmi\u015f olan o \u00e7ocu\u011fu bulmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktad\u0131r: “Yavrum” l\u00e2f\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn varl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sarsmaktad\u0131r; hele “hey gidi yaramaz k\u0131z” dediniz mi, eski yaralar\u0131 depre\u015fmekte, yitip giden benzersizli\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmektedir.<\/p>\n
Bu kimseciklere benzemeyen \u00e7ocu\u011fa bak\u0131p uzaktan heyecanlanmakla yetinmez: onu benli\u011finde yeniden ya\u015famaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Be\u011fenilerinin, fikirlerinin, duygulan\u0131l\u0131n o g\u00fcnden bu yana ayn\u0131 benzersiz tazeli\u011fi s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fcklerine kendi kendini inand\u0131rmaya u\u011fra\u015f\u0131r. Bir gerdanl\u0131kla oynar ya da bir y\u00fcz\u00fc\u011f\u00fc evirip \u00e7evirirken, g\u00f6zlerini bo\u015flu\u011fa dikip, \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n bir tav\u0131rla: “Garip \u015fey… ama ben b\u00f6yleyim i\u015fte… inanmazs\u0131n\u0131z belki: su beni b\u00fcy\u00fcler… Ah, ah! bay\u0131l\u0131rim k\u0131rlarda ya\u015famaya!” Her ye\u011fleme oha bir gariplik, her g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f de d\u00fcnyaya kafa tutma gibi gelmektedir. Dorothy Parker bu pek yayg\u0131n \u00f6zelli\u011fi s\u00f6yle anlatmaktad\u0131r: betimledi\u011fi Mrs. Welton’d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Kendini, \u00e7evresi \u00e7i\u00e7ekle dolu olmazsa mutlulu\u011fu tadamayacak bir kad\u0131n gibi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye bay\u0131l\u0131yordu… Kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 insanlara, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck itiraflarla, \u00e7i\u00e7ekleri ne denli sevdi\u011fini belli ediyordu. Bu k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck itiraflarda, dinleyicilerinden, be\u011fenisini fazla garip bulmamalar\u0131m istermi\u015f\u00e7esine, \u00f6z\u00fcr dileyen bir hava vard\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakinin, b\u00fcy\u00fck bir \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131k i\u00e7inde elini aln\u0131na vurup: “Allah, Allah! ne g\u00fcnlere kald\u0131k!” diyerek s\u0131rt\u00fcst\u00fc devrilmesini bekliyordu sanki. Zaman zaman, daha ba\u015fka ufak tefek ye\u011flemelerini a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131yordu; o ince ruhu kalbini g\u00f6zler \u00f6n\u00fcne sermekten do\u011fal olarak tiksinirmi\u015f gibi hep ayn\u0131 \u015fa\u015fk\u0131n bak\u0131\u015flarla, renkleri, da\u011flar\u0131 bay\u0131rlar\u0131, e\u011flenceyi, ger\u00e7ekten ilgin\u00e7 bir m\u00fccevheri, g\u00fczel kuma\u015flar\u0131, iyi dikilmi\u015f giysileri, g\u00fcne\u015fi nas\u0131l delice sevdi\u011fini anlat\u0131yordu. Ama en \u00e7ok a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa vurdu\u011fu \u00e7i\u00e7ek sevgisiydi. Bu be\u011feninin kendisini, b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6tekilerden fazla, \u00f6b\u00fcr \u00f6l\u00fcml\u00fclerden ay\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n, bu \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmlemeleri davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla do\u011frulamaya yatk\u0131nd\u0131r; tutar bir renk se\u00e7er: “ye\u015fil benim rengimdir,” der; ye\u011fledi\u011fi bir \u00e7i\u00e7ek, bir koku, bir m\u00fczik\u00e7i, sayg\u0131yla yana\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 bo\u015f inan\u00e7lar, gelip ge\u00e7ici hevesleri vard\u0131r; ki\u015fili\u011fini giysilerinde ya da evinin d\u00f6\u015feni\u015finde ortaya vurmas\u0131 i\u00e7in g\u00fczel olmas\u0131 gerekmez, i\u00e7ine yerle\u015fti\u011fi ki\u015finin zek\u00e2s\u0131na, dikba\u015fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na ve yabanc\u0131la\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n derinli\u011fine g\u00f6re az ya da \u00e7ok tutarl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve \u00f6zg\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc vard\u0131r. Baz\u0131lar\u0131, geli\u015fig\u00fczel birtak\u0131m \u00e7izgileri al\u0131r, karman \u00e7orman biraraya getirirler; baz\u0131lanysa, belli bir dizgeye ba\u011fl\u0131 olarak belli bir ki\u015fi yarat\u0131r, s\u00fcrekli olarak bunu oynarlar: kad\u0131n\u0131n, bu oyunla do\u011fruyu birbirinden pek ay\u0131rmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yukarda s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftik. Ya\u015fam, yarat\u0131lan bu kahraman\u0131n \u00e7evresinde, kimi zaman kederli, kimi zaman harikalarla dolu, ama hep \u015fa\u015f\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir roman bi\u00e7iminde \u00f6r\u00fclmektedir. Kimi zaman bu, daha \u00f6cneden yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir romand\u0131r. Poussiere’deki Judy olduklar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyen k\u0131zlar\u0131n say\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 unuttum; \u00e7ok \u00e7irkin ya\u015fl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n hat\u0131rl\u0131yorum. Allah\u0131n g\u00fcn\u00fc: “Vadideki Zam-bak’\u0131 okuyun: ba\u015f\u0131mdan ge\u00e7enleri \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f olursunuz” derdi; o s\u0131ralar k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u00e7ocuktum, sayg\u0131l\u0131 bir \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131kla bu solgum zamba\u011fa bakard\u0131m. Daha ba\u015fkalar\u0131ysa, belli bir ad vermeden m\u0131r\u0131ldan\u0131rlar: “Ah, al\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131mdan ge\u00e7enleri yazsalar, koca bir roman olur.” Al\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131n ortas\u0131nda iyi ya da k\u00f6t\u00fc bir y\u0131ld\u0131z vard\u0131r. “Ah, karde\u015f, bu i\u015fler de hep benim ba\u015f\u0131ma gelir,” derler. Ya kara talih yakalar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakmaz, ya da talihleri a\u00e7\u0131kt\u0131r: s\u00f6z\u00fcn tasas\u0131, belli bir al\u0131nyaz\u0131lar\u0131 vard\u0131r. Cecile Sorel, Memoires’\u0131n\u0131n (An\u0131lar’\u0131n\u0131n) ba\u015f\u0131ndan sonuna dek bir an bile ayr\u0131lmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 safl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla \u015funlar\u0131 yazmaktad\u0131r: “B\u00f6ylece insan i\u00e7ine kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, \u00eelk dostlar\u0131m, \u00fcst\u00fcn yetenek ve g\u00fczellik’ti.” Ve kendine hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n canl\u0131 an\u0131t\u0131 olan le Livre de ma Vie’de, Madam de Noailles \u015f\u00f6yle demektedir:<\/p>\n
Bir g\u00fcn, dad\u0131lar yokoldu: talih ald\u0131 onlar\u0131n yerini. Bu hem g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc, hem zay\u0131f yarat\u0131\u011f\u0131 kimi zaman ihsanlara bo\u011fdu, kimi zaman yerlerde s\u00fcr\u00fcnd\u00fcrd\u00fc, tufanlardan kurtard\u0131 ve o \u00e7i\u00e7eklerini kurtararak, sesini gittik\u00e7e y\u00fckselterek sava\u015f\u00e7\u0131 bir Ophelia halinde su y\u00fcz\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Talih ondan, Eski Yunanl\u0131lar\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc bile kendi yararlar\u0131na kulland\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlayarak, gelecekten umut kesmemesini istemi\u015fti.<\/p>\n
Kendine hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n en g\u00fczel \u00f6rneklerinden biri olan \u015fu par\u00e7ay\u0131 da alal\u0131m:<\/p>\n
K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken, kollar\u0131m ve bacaklar\u0131m \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131 gibi ince, ama yuvarlakt\u0131, pembe yanakl\u0131, sa\u011flam bir k\u0131zd\u0131m; t\u0131pk\u0131 Musa’n\u0131n ta\u015f\u0131ndan f\u0131\u015fk\u0131racak hayat suyu gibi, anla\u015f\u0131lmaz bir bi\u00e7imde o susuz \u00e7\u00f6l\u00fcmden, a\u00e7l\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan k\u0131sa s\u00fcreli ve giz dolu \u00f6l\u00fcmlerimden f\u0131\u015fk\u0131rabilecek canl\u0131l\u0131\u011fa ra\u011fmen \u00e7\u0131tk\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131m, karanl\u0131k bir ki\u015filik kazand\u0131m, bu da son derece duygulu bir k\u0131z haline getirdi beni. Y\u00fczde y\u00fcz hakk\u0131m oldu\u011fu halde, y\u00fcreklili\u011fimi \u00f6vecek de\u011filim. G\u00fcc\u00fcme, talihime veriyorum onu. Oysa, t\u0131pk\u0131 ye\u015fil g\u00f6zl\u00fc, kara sa\u00e7l\u0131, minik ama g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc elleri olan bir’k\u0131z\u0131m der gibi, y\u00fcrekliyim de diyebilirdim…<\/p>\n
Bir de \u015fu sat\u0131rlara bak\u0131n:<\/p>\n
Bug\u00fcn, ruhumdan ve onun uyum getiren g\u00fc\u00e7lerinden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m destekle, i\u00e7imden geldi\u011fi gibi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00f6ne s\u00fcrebilirim art\u0131k…<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n, e\u011fer g\u00fczel ve \u00e7ekici de\u011filse, mutlu bir ya\u015fam\u0131 yoksa, o zaman kurbanl\u0131\u011f\u0131 benimseyecektir; yenilmez bir inatla Mater dolo-rosa (ac\u0131l\u0131 ana), anla\u015f\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f e\u015f rol\u00fcn\u00fc oynayacak, kendini hep “d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en mutsuz kad\u0131n\u0131” sayacakt\u0131r. Stekel’in La Femme frigi- de’de (So\u011fuk Kad\u0131n’da) \u00f6rnek diye verdi\u011fi kara d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceli kad\u0131n i\u015fte b\u00f6yledir:<\/p>\n
Madam H. W…, her y\u0131l, Noel’de, koyu renk giysiler i\u00e7inde sapsar\u0131 bir y\u00fczle bana gelir, kara talihinden yak\u0131n\u0131r. G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 i\u00e7inde, kederli bir \u00f6yk\u00fc anlat\u0131r hep. \u00d6mr\u00fc bo\u015fa gitmi\u015f, evlili\u011fi hi\u00e7bir i\u015fe yaramam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r: \u0130lk zamanlar, ben de epey duyguland\u0131m, handiyse onunla birlikte a\u011flayacakt\u0131m. Aradan iki y\u0131l ge\u00e7ti, ama bizimki hep ayn\u0131 k\u0131r\u0131k umutlar i\u00e7inde ya\u015famakta, bo\u015fa giden \u00f6mr\u00fcne a\u011flamaktad\u0131r. Y\u00fcz \u00e7izgilerinde \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn ilk izleri belirmi\u015ftir, bu da a\u011flay\u0131p s\u0131zlamas\u0131 i\u00e7in yeni bir bahanedir tabi\u00ee. “Ah, ah! bir zamanlar herkesin tapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir kad\u0131nken, bak\u0131n ne hale geldim!” B\u00fct\u00fcn dostlar\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na gel?\u00bb fel\u00e2ketleri bildi\u011finden, yak\u0131nd\u0131k\u00e7a yak\u0131nmakta, umutsuzlu\u011funun \u00fcst\u00fcne bast\u0131k\u00e7a basmakta. Herkes el aman diyor yak\u0131nmalar\u0131ndan… Bu da, kendini mutsuz hissetmesi, yapayaln\u0131z ve anla\u015f\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f saymas\u0131 i\u00e7in yeni bir f\u0131rsatt\u0131r. Bu ac\u0131 dehlizinden kurtulman\u0131n yolu yoktu art\u0131k… Kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z “bu trajik rol”den zevk al\u0131yordu. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n en talihsiz kad\u0131n\u0131 olmaktan s\u00f6z\u00fcn en ger\u00e7ek anlam\u0131yla zevk duyuyordu. Etkin ya\u015fama kat\u0131lmas\u0131 i\u00e7in harcad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00e7abalar bo\u015fa gitti.<\/p>\n
K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck Madam Welton’da, y\u00fcce Anna de Noailles’da, Stekel’in talihsiz hastas\u0131nda ve ola\u011fan\u00fcst\u00fc bir yazg\u0131n\u0131n kurban\u0131 olan b\u00fct\u00fcn kad\u0131nlarda ortak bir yan vard\u0131r: kendilerini anla\u015f\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f hissetmektedirler; \u00e7evreleri, onlar\u0131n benzersizli\u011fini hi\u00e7 \u2014ya da yeterince\u2014 g\u00f6rememektedir ve ba\u015fkas\u0131nda bulduklar\u0131 bu bilgisizli\u011fi, bu kay\u0131ts\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131, kendilerindeki bir gize yormaktad\u0131rlar, i\u015fin ger\u00e7ek yan\u0131 \u015fu ki, bir\u00e7o\u011fu, kendileri i\u00e7in b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00f6nem ta\u015f\u0131yan’ \u00e7ocukluk ya da gen\u00e7lik d\u00f6nemlerini sessizce i\u00e7lerine g\u00f6mm\u00fc\u015flerdir: resm\u00ee ya\u015fam \u00f6yk\u00fclerinin ger\u00e7ek \u00f6yk\u00fcleriyle \u00e7ak\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmektedirler. Ayr\u0131ca, kendine hayran kad\u0131n\u0131n yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 kahraman, somut ya\u015famda ger\u00e7ekle\u015femedi\u011fi i\u00e7in, yaln\u0131zca hayali bir varl\u0131kt\u0131r; birli\u011fi somut d\u00fcnyadan gelmemektedir:\u00a0 bunu sa\u011flayan \u015fey, Orta\u00e7a\u011f’\u0131n yanmayan ta\u015f\u0131 kadar karanl\u0131k bir \u00e7e\u015fit “g\u00fc\u00e7”, “\u00f6zel bir etki”, gizli bir ilkedir; kad\u0131n, kendi madd\u00ee varl\u0131\u011f\u0131na inanmaktad\u0131r, ama bunu ba\u015fkas\u0131nda bulup ortaya \u00e7\u0131karmaya kalkt\u0131\u011f\u0131 an, elle tutulup g\u00f6zle g\u00f6r\u00fclmez su\u00e7lan itirafa kalk\u0131\u015fan ak\u0131l hastas\u0131 gibi sap\u0131tacakt\u0131r. Her iki durumda da “giz”, insan\u0131n i\u00e7inde b\u00fct\u00fcn duygu ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6zmeye yarayan bir anahtar bulundu\u011fu konusundaki bo\u015f. inanca indirgenmektedir. Ak\u00fc hastas\u0131na bu yan\u0131lsamay\u0131 veren \u015fey, duygu ve davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndaki isten\u00e7 yoklu\u011fu, hareketsizliktir; kad\u0131n da, g\u00fcnl\u00fck eylem i\u00e7inde kendini ortaya koyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in, varl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda anlat\u0131lmaz bir gizin bulundu\u011funa inanmaktad\u0131r: \u00fcnl\u00fc kad\u0131n anla\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131\u011f\u0131 efsanesi de bu yan\u0131lsamay\u0131 hem s\u00fcrd\u00fcrmekte, hem de ondan g\u00fc\u00e7 al\u0131p do\u011frulanmaktad\u0131r.<\/p>\n
De\u011feri anla\u015f\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f hazinelerle dolu olan kad\u0131n talih y\u00fcz\u00fcne g\u00fcls\u00fcn g\u00fclmesin, kendi g\u00f6z\u00fcnde, bir al\u0131nyaz\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n y\u00f6netti\u011fi tragedya kahraman\u0131 kad\u0131nlar gibi bir gereklilik kazanmaktad\u0131r. B\u00fct\u00fcn ya\u015fam\u0131, kutsal bir drama d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmektedir. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir g\u00f6rkemle se\u00e7ilen giysinin alt\u0131nda, hem papaz c\u00fcppesi giymi\u015f bir rahibe, hem de sad\u0131k eller taraf\u0131ndan allan\u0131p pullanm\u0131\u015f, sad\u0131k kullar\u0131n hayran bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir put yatmaktad\u0131r. Evinin i\u00e7i, kendine tap\u0131nman\u0131n ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirildi\u011fi bir tap\u0131nakt\u0131r. Marie Bashkirtseff, \u00e7evresine en az giysilerine g\u00f6sterdi\u011fi titizlikle yana\u015fmaktad\u0131r:<\/p>\n
\u00c7al\u0131\u015fma masas\u0131n\u0131n hemen yan\u0131nda, eski tarz bir koltuk var; b\u00f6ylece, odaya birileri girer girmez bu koltu\u011fu hafif\u00e7e k\u0131p\u0131rdatmam, insanlar\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7\u0131k\u0131vermeme yetiyor… arkamdaki kitaplar, tablolar ve \u00e7e\u015fitli ev bitkileri aras\u0131nda, o kocaman, bilgi\u00e7 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fl\u00fc masan\u0131n yan\u0131ba\u015f\u0131nda, bacaklar\u0131mla ayaklar\u0131m\u0131 eskisi gibi kapkara bir tahtayla ikiye b\u00f6lmeden oldu\u011fu gibi g\u00f6stererek oturuyorum. Divan\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcne iki mandolinle bir gitar as\u0131lm\u0131\u015f. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n ortas\u0131na, mavi damarl\u0131, minicik ve ince elli, san sa\u00e7l\u0131 bir k\u0131z oturtun.<\/p>\n
Kad\u0131n, \u00e7al\u0131ml\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131ml\u0131 salonlarda dola\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131, kendini \u00e2\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kollar\u0131na b\u0131rakt\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda g\u00f6revini yerine getirmektedir, g\u00fczelli\u011finin hazinelerini d\u00f6rt bir yana sa\u00e7an Ven\u00fcs’t\u00fcr o. Cecile Sorel, Bib’in(5) yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 karikat\u00fcr\u00fcn cam\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7er\u00e7evesini paralarken kendini de\u011fil, G\u00fczellik’i koruyordu; Memoires’m\u00e2a (An\u0131lar’\u0131nda) ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131n her an\u0131nda, \u00f6l\u00fcml\u00fcleri Sanata tap\u0131nmaya \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcr. Isodora Duncan7 da, My Life (Ya\u015fam\u0131m) adl\u0131 kitab\u0131nda kendini anlat\u0131rken ayn\u0131 \u015feyi yapmaktad\u0131r:<\/p>\n
Oyunlardan sonra, s\u0131rt\u0131mda kolsuz g\u00f6mle\u011fim, ba\u015f\u0131mda g\u00fcllerle \u00f6ylesine g\u00fczelim ki! Neden bu g\u00fczellikten yararlan\u0131lmas\u0131n? Neden b\u00fct\u00fcn g\u00fcn beyniyle \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir erkek bu nefis kollar taraf\u0131ndan sar\u0131lmas\u0131n, neden birka\u00e7 saat g\u00fczellikler i\u00e7inde dertlerini unutup avunmas\u0131n? Kendine hayran kad\u0131n\u0131n elia\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ona birtak\u0131m yararlar sa\u011flar: o, aynalardan \u00e7ok, ba\u015fkas\u0131’n\u0131n hayranl\u0131k dolu g\u00f6zlerinde yakalar \u015fanlar \u015ferefler i\u00e7inde y\u00fczen benzerini. \u015eak\u015fak\u00e7\u0131 bir seyirci ya da dinleyici toplulu\u011fu bulamay\u0131nca, gider bir papaza, bir doktora, bir ruh hekimine a\u00e7ar kalbini; bunun yan\u0131nda, el ya da k\u00fcre fal\u0131na bakan kad\u0131nlara da ak\u0131l dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Yeni parlamakta olan bir y\u0131ld\u0131zc\u0131k: “inand\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan de\u011fil can\u0131m, ama beni bana anlatmalar\u0131 \u00f6yle ho\u015fuma gidiyor ki!” diyordu; kad\u0131n dostlar\u0131na i\u00e7ini d\u00f6ker; herkesten \u00e7ok sevgilide bir tan\u0131k arar; \u00e2\u015f\u0131k olan kad\u0131n hemen unutur kendi benini: ama kad\u0131nlar\u0131n pek \u00e7o\u011fu, s\u0131rf kendi benlerini unutamad\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in, ger\u00e7eklen sevmeyi bilemezler. Yatak odas\u0131n\u0131n gizlili\u011findense, daha geni\u015f sahneleri ye\u011flerler. G\u00f6steri\u015fli ya\u015fama verdikleri \u00f6nem de buradan gelmektedir; kendilerini seyredecek g\u00f6zlere, dinleyecek kulaklara ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 vard\u0131r; oynad\u0131klar\u0131 ki\u015fiye, seyircilerin en kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131 gereklidir. Marie Bashkirtseff, odas\u0131n\u0131 anlat\u0131rken, \u015fu itiraf\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131ndan ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131r:<\/p>\n
B\u00f6ylece, i\u00e7eri girip de beni yazarken g\u00f6rd\u00fckleri zaman, “sahneye \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f gibi” oluyorum. Birka\u00e7 sayfa \u00f6tede de \u015f\u00f6yle der:<\/p>\n
Kendime hat\u0131r\u0131 say\u0131l\u0131r bir sahne kurmaya karar verdim. Sarah Bernhardt’\u0131nkinden \u00e7ok daha b\u00fcy\u00fck i\u015flikler yapt\u0131raca\u011f\u0131m kendime…<\/p>\n
Madam de Noailles da \u015funlar\u0131 yazmakta:<\/p>\n
Agoray\u0131 (insan \u00f6n\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131kmay\u0131) severim, \u00f6teden beri sevmi\u015fimdir… Bu y\u00fczden de, konuklar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7oklu\u011fundan s\u0131k\u0131lan ve \u00f6z\u00fcr dileyen bir\u00e7ok dostumu su i\u00e7ten itirafla yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f\u0131md\u0131r: “bo\u015f koltuklar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda oynamak’tan ho\u015flanmam.<\/p>\n
S\u00fcsl\u00fc giysiler, insanlarla ho\u015fbe\u015f, kad\u0131n\u0131n bu kendini g\u00f6sterme e\u011filimini genellikle doyurur. Ama kendine hayran kad\u0131n, \u00e7ok daha ender, \u00e7ok daha de\u011fi\u015fik bi\u00e7imde kendini g\u00f6stermek ister. \u00d6zellikle, ya\u015fam\u0131n\u0131 seyircilerin alk\u0131\u015flar\u0131na adanm\u0131\u015f bir arma\u011fan haline getirerek, ger\u00e7ekten sahneye \u00e7\u0131kmaya bay\u0131l\u0131r. Madam de Stael, Corinne adl\u0131 roman\u0131nda arp e\u015fli\u011finde okudu\u011fu \u015fiirlerle italyan seyircileri nas\u0131l b\u00fcy\u00fcledi\u011fini anlat\u0131r. Coppet’deki aile \u015fatosunda, ba\u015fl\u0131ca e\u011flencelerinden biri, tragedyalardaki rollerden birini oynayarak okumakt\u0131; Phedre k\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na girer, Hippolyte k\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131na soktu\u011fu gen\u00e7 \u00e2\u015f\u0131klar\u0131na ate\u015fli sevda s\u00f6zleri s\u00f6ylerdi. Madam Kr\u00fcdener, \u00fczerinde uzmanla\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 atk\u0131 dans\u0131n\u0131 Valerie’de, \u015f\u00f6yle anlat\u0131r:<\/p>\n
Valene, koyu mavi muslin atk\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 getirtti, aln\u0131na d\u00f6k\u00fclen sa\u00e7lar\u0131m kald\u0131rd\u0131; atk\u0131y\u0131 basma att\u0131; \u015fal \u015fakaklar\u0131ndan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcp omuzlar\u0131na d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcyordu; Eski Yunandaki gibi al\u0131n odu\u011fu gibi ortaya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131, sa\u00e7lar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez oldu, g\u00f6zkapaklan indi, dudaklar\u0131ndan eksik olmayan g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesi yava\u015f yava\u015f silindi: bas\u0131 e\u011fildi, atk\u0131s\u0131 usulca kavu\u015fturulmu\u015f kollar\u0131na, g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc, bu masmavi t\u00fcl, bu tatl\u0131 ve yumu\u015fak y\u00fcz dingin bir boyune\u011fi\u015fi dile getirmek \u00fczere Correge taraf\u0131ndan resmedilmi\u015fti sanki; g\u00f6zlerini yerden kald\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131, dudaklar\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131 anda onu g\u00f6ren, Shakespeare kaleminden \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f, bir an\u0131t\u0131n dibinde Ac\u0131’y\u0131 g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyen Sab\u0131r mele\u011fine benzetirdi.<\/p>\n
… Ama bir de Valerie’yi-g\u00f6rmelisiniz. As\u0131l o, hem utan\u00e7, hem soylu ve iyice duygulu bir tav\u0131rla insanlar\u0131 allak bullak etmekte, ard\u0131na tak\u0131p s\u00fcr\u00fcklemekte, heyecanland\u0131rmakta, y\u00fcreklen, t\u0131pk\u0131 h\u0131zla y\u00fckseldikleri andaki gibi k\u00fct k\u00fct att\u0131rmakta; \u00f6\u011frenilmesi olanaks\u0131z, do\u011fan\u0131n ancak baz\u0131 y\u00fcce varl\u0131klara ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 o sevimli \u00e7ekicilik yaln\u0131z onda var.<\/p>\n
Durum ve ko\u015fullar uygun d\u00fc\u015ferse, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey, kendini a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a tiyatroya vermek kadar ho\u015fnut edemez kendine hayran kad\u0131n\u0131:<\/p>\n
Tiyatro, diyor Georgette Leblanc, o g\u00fcne dek arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyi getiriyordu bana: co\u015fup ta\u015fma d\u00fcrt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc. Bug\u00fcnse, “eylemin karikat\u00fcr\u00fc” gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum onu; ancak a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ki\u015filere gerekli bir \u015fey say\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
Kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 deyim \u00e7ok \u00e7arp\u0131c\u0131: eylemde bulunamayan kad\u0131n, kendine, eyleme benzer \u015feyler icat ediyor demek; tiyatro, baz\u0131 kad\u0131nlar i\u00e7in, ayr\u0131cal\u0131kl\u0131 bir ersatz (\u00f6d\u00fcn) d\u0131r. Aynca, oyuncu kad\u0131n bir\u00e7ok erekler g\u00fcdebilir. Kimisi i\u00e7in, sahneye \u00e7\u0131kmak bir para kazanma arac\u0131, basit bir u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131r; kimisi i\u00e7inse, sevda oyunlar\u0131nda kullan\u0131lacak bir \u00fcne eri\u015fme yoludur; daha ba\u015fkalar\u0131 i\u00e7inse, kendine hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n doru\u011fudur; en b\u00fcy\u00fck kad\u0131n oyuncular \u2014Rachel, la D\u00fc\u015fe falan\u2014 yaratt\u0131klar\u0131 rollerde kendilerini a\u015fan sahici sanat\u00e7\u0131lard\u0131r; de\u011fersiz oyuncu ise, tam tersine, yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u015feye de\u011fil, onun getirece\u011fi \u00fcne bakar; \u00f6ncelikle kendi de\u011ferini g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Kendine hayran kad\u0131n, \u00f6z\u00fcnden bir \u015feyler vermeyi bilemedi\u011fi i\u00e7in, gerek sanatta, gerek a\u015fkta belli bir s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131n \u00f6tesine ge\u00e7emeyecektir.<\/p>\n
Bu eksiklik, b\u00fct\u00fcn etkinliklerinde kendini g\u00f6sterecektir. Kendisini \u00fcne kavu\u015fturacak b\u00fct\u00fcn yollara ba\u015fvurma e\u011filimi duyacakt\u0131r; ama bu yollan hi\u00e7bir zaman canla ba\u015fla izleyemeyecektir. Resim, heykel, edebiyat gibi sanat dallan \u00e7ok s\u0131k\u0131 bir \u00e7\u0131rakl\u0131k d\u00f6nemiyle insanlardan uzak bir \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmay\u0131 gerektirirler; bir\u00e7ok kad\u0131n bunlan denemekte, ama olumlu bir yaratma istekleri yoksa, k\u0131sa zamanda bundan vazge\u00e7mektedir; s\u00fcrd\u00fcrenlerin \u00e7o\u011fu da, \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yormu\u015f gibi “oyun oynamaktad\u0131r.” Nas\u0131l etsem de \u00fcne ersem diye kafa patlatan Marie Bashkirt-seff, \u00fc\u00e7 ayakl\u0131 resim sehpas\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131nda saatler ge\u00e7irirdi; ama resmi sevemeyecek kadar \u00e7ok seviyordu kendini, inatla harcanan y\u0131llardan sonra, kendisi de itiraf eder bunu: “Evet, resim yapma zahmetine girmiyorum art\u0131k, bug\u00fcn oturup inceledim kendimi, oyun oynuyorum ben…” Bir kad\u0131n, Madam de Stael, Madam de Noailles gibi bir yap\u0131t ortaya koymay\u0131 ba\u015fard\u0131 m\u0131, kendine hayranl\u0131k b\u00fct\u00fcn zaman\u0131n\u0131 alm\u0131yor demektir: ancak, bir\u00e7ok kad\u0131n yazar\u0131 bekleyen tehlikelerden biri, i\u00e7tenliklerine zarar veren, onlar\u0131 s\u0131n\u0131rlayan, de\u011ferlerini azaltan kendini be\u011fenme e\u011filimidir.<\/p>\n
Herkesten \u00fcst\u00fcn oldu\u011funa inanan bir\u00e7ok kad\u0131n, bunu ba\u015fkalar\u0131na g\u00f6sterme yetisinden yoksundur, o zaman, b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u00fcnerleri, de\u011ferlerine inand\u0131racaklar\u0131 bir erke\u011fi kullanmak olacakt\u0131r; \u00f6zg\u00fcr tasar\u0131larla, benzersiz de\u011ferler elde etmeye u\u011fra\u015fmaz b\u00f6yleleri; kendi ben’lerine, haz\u0131rlop de\u011ferler katmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar; bunun i\u00e7in de \u2014esin perisi, ak\u0131l hocas\u0131 rol\u00fcn\u00fc benimseyerek\u2014 onlara benzeme umuduyla, etkili ve \u00fcnl\u00fc erkeklere yana\u015f\u0131rlar. Bu konuda en ilgin\u00e7 \u00f6rnek, \u00fcnl\u00fc yazar Law-rence’la Mabel Dodge aras\u0131ndaki ili\u015fkidir:<\/p>\n
Akl\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7elmek, onu bir \u015feyler yaratmaya itmek istiyordum, der Mabel Dodge… Onun ruhuna, istencine, yarat\u0131c\u0131 hayal g\u00fcc\u00fcne, ayd\u0131nl\u0131k g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcne ihtiyac\u0131m vard\u0131. Bu temel ara\u00e7lar\u0131 ele ge\u00e7irebilmek i\u00e7in, kan\u0131na girmem gerekiyordu… Kendimi bildim bileli, tek ba\u015f\u0131ma bir \u015fey yapmaya kalk\u0131\u015fmay\u0131p hep ba\u015fkalar\u0131na bir \u015feyler yapt\u0131rmak istemi\u015fimdir. Zamanla, ba\u015fkalar\u0131na malzeme sa\u011flayarak eylemde bulundu\u011fumu, yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 san\u0131r oldum. “Hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmamam\u0131n verdi\u011fi umutsuzluk duygusunun \u00f6d\u00fcn\u00fc” gibi bir \u015feydi bu.<\/p>\n
Yine Mabel Dodge, daha ilerde \u015funlar\u0131 yazar:<\/p>\n
Lawrence’\u00een benim taraf\u0131mdan fethedilmesini, benim ya\u015fant\u0131mdan, benim g\u00f6zlemlerimden yararlanmas\u0131n\u0131, benim Taos’umu kullanmas\u0131n\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 harika bir sanat yap\u0131t\u0131nda dile getirmesini istiyordum.<\/p>\n
Bunun gibi, Georgette Leblanc da Maeterlinck i\u00e7in “tinsel bir besin, bir \u0131\u015f\u0131k kayna\u011f\u0131” olmak istiyordu; ama o, ozan\u0131n yazaca\u011f\u0131 kitab\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131na ad\u0131n\u0131n konmas\u0131n\u0131 da arzuluyordu. Burada kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kan, birtak\u0131m ki\u015fisel erekleri olan ve bunlara varabilmek i\u00e7in erkekleri kullanan kad\u0131nlar de\u011fil \u2014\u00f6rne\u011fin Prenses Ursins ya da Madam de Stael\u2014 salt \u00f6zel bir davran\u0131\u015fla \u00f6nemli ki\u015fi olmak isteyen, hi\u00e7bir nesnel erek g\u00fctmeyen ve ba\u015fkalar\u0131n\u0131n a\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 kendilerine mal etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan kad\u0131nlard\u0131r. Tabi\u00ee, her zaman ba\u015far\u0131ya ula\u015fmalar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fclemez; ancak, ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 gizlemekte, kendilerini dayan\u0131lmaz derecede \u00e7ekici olduklar\u0131na inand\u0131rmakta m\u00fcthi\u015f ustad\u0131rlar. Sevimli, arzu ve hayranl\u0131k verici olduklar\u0131na inand\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in, sevildiklerinden, arzuland\u0131klar\u0131ndan, hayran olunduklar\u0131ndan emindirler. B\u00fct\u00fcn kendilerine hayran kad\u0131nlar birer Belise’dirler.(6) Lawrence’a k\u00f6r\u00fc k\u00f6r\u00fcne ba\u011fl\u0131 o \u00e7ocuksu Brett bile kendine, cidd\u00ee ama \u00e7ekici bir ki\u015filik yaratm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r:<\/p>\n
G\u00f6zlerimi kald\u0131r\u0131p bak\u0131nca, o y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131zla, kurnazca beni s\u00fczd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcyorum, k\u0131\u015fk\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 bir \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131 var g\u00f6zlerinizde, Pan gibi. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fczdeki bu \u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131 gidene dek, g\u00f6rkemli ve sayg\u0131n bir tav\u0131rla, bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 sizden ka\u00e7\u0131r\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n
Bu yan\u0131lsamalar ger\u00e7ek \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131k n\u00f6betleri halini alabilir; Clerambault’nun \u015fehvetd\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc “bir \u00e7e\u015fit meslek\u00ee \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131k” saymas\u0131 bo\u015funa de\u011fildir; bir insan\u0131n kendini kad\u0131n gibi, arzulanacak bir nesne gibi hissetmesi, sevildi\u011fine, arzuland\u0131\u011f\u0131na inanmas\u0131 demektir. \u015euras\u0131 \u00e7ok ilgin\u00e7tir ki, “sevildi\u011fini sanma” hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131na tutulmu\u015f on ki\u015fiden dokuzu kad\u0131nd\u0131r. D\u00fc\u015fsel \u00e2\u015f\u0131klar\u0131nda, kendilerine duyduklar\u0131 hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ta doru\u011fa \u00e7\u0131karmalar\u0131n\u0131 bekledikleri a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fclmektedir. Bu erke\u011fin tart\u0131\u015f\u0131lmaz bir de\u011fere sahip bulunmas\u0131n\u0131, yani dinadam\u0131, hekim, avukat falan olmas\u0131n\u0131 isterler ve b\u00f6yle bir erke\u011fin davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n ko\u015fulsuz do\u011frusu \u015fudur: se\u00e7ti\u011fi sevgili b\u00fct\u00fcn kad\u0131nlardan \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u00fcr, y\u00fcce ve kar\u015f\u0131 konmaz \u00e7ekicilikleri vard\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\u015eehvetd\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc bir\u00e7ok ruh hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ten\u0131elinde bulunabilir; ama i\u00e7eri\u011fi hep ayn\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
\u00d6zne, hep de\u011ferli bir erke\u011fin sevgisiyle y\u00fcceltilmi\u015f, ayd\u0131nlat\u0131lm\u0131\u015f durumdad\u0131r; erkek, kad\u0131n kendisinden hi\u00e7bir \u015fey beklemedi\u011fi halde, birden \u00e7arp\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r ve arzulan\u0131n kad\u0131na ayk\u0131r\u0131, ama kar\u015f\u0131 konmaz bir yoldan belli etmektedir; bu ili\u015fki kimi zaman d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnsel alanda kal\u0131r, kimi zaman da cinsel bir g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015f kazan\u0131r; ancak hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015fmeyen \u00f6zelli\u011fi \u015fudur: g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve \u00fcnl\u00fc yan- tanr\u0131 hep sevildi\u011finden daha \u00e7ok sevmekte, tutkusunu garip ve iki anlama \u00e7eki-lebilen davran\u0131\u015flarla a\u00e7\u0131\u011fa vurmaktad\u0131r. Ruh hekimlerinin verdi\u011fi say\u0131s\u0131z \u00f6rnek i\u00e7inden, Ferdiere’den al\u0131p(7) \u00f6zetledi\u011fim \u015fu \u00f6rnek son derece ayd\u0131nlat\u0131c\u0131d\u0131r. Kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zda, Marie-Yvonne ad\u0131nda, 48 ya\u015f\u0131nda bir kad\u0131n var, bak\u0131n neler anlat\u0131yor:<\/p>\n
S\u00f6z konusu erkek eski milletvekili, bakan yard\u0131mc\u0131s\u0131, Baro ve Yasa Kurulu \u00fcyesi \u00fcstad Cehilledir. 12 May\u0131s 1920’den beri tan\u0131r\u0131m kendisini; bir g\u00fcn Adliye Saray\u0131’nda aram\u0131\u015ft\u0131m onu! Uzun boyunu ta uzaktan g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm ama kim oldu\u011funu bilmiyordum; \u00f6\u011frenince, s\u0131rt\u0131mdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 so\u011fuk sular d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc… Evet, ikimiz aras\u0131nda bir duygu sorunu, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 bir g\u00f6n\u00fcl hik\u00e2yesi var: g\u00f6zlerimiz, bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z kar\u015f\u0131la\u015ft\u0131. Daha ilk g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fte be\u011fendim onu; o da \u00f6yle… tik a\u00e7\u0131lan o oldu: 1922 baslar\u0131yd\u0131; oturma odas\u0131na, hep tek bas\u0131ma al\u0131yordu beni; bir g\u00fcn o\u011flunu bile d\u0131\u015far\u0131 g\u00f6nderdi… Bir g\u00fcn… yerinden kalkt\u0131, konu\u015fmas\u0131na ara vermeden bana do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. Bunun duygusal bir at\u0131l\u0131m oldu\u011funu hemen anlad\u0131m… Birtak\u0131m a\u00e7\u0131klamalara giri\u015fti. Son derece tatl\u0131 bir dille, kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 duygular\u0131n bir yerde rastla\u015ft\u0131\u011fm\u0131 anlatt\u0131 bana. Bir ba\u015fka sefer, yine \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma odas\u0131nda yan\u0131ma yakla\u015ft\u0131 ve:<\/p>\n
“Siz, Madam, yaln\u0131z siz anl\u0131yorsunuz ne demek istedi\u011fimi,” dedi. \u00d6yle heyecanland\u0131m ki, ne kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k verece\u011fimi \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m, yaln\u0131zca: “Te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim, \u00dcstad\u0131m!” demekle yetindim.<\/p>\n
Ba\u015fka bir seferinde, ta sokak kap\u0131s\u0131na dek ge\u00e7irdi beni; hatt\u00e2 yakas\u0131n\u0131 b\u0131rakmayan bir adam\u0131 bile vard\u0131, eline birka\u00e7 kuru\u015f s\u0131k\u0131\u015ft\u0131rarak: “Hadi yavrum, rahat b\u0131rak\u0131n beni, g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsunuz ki Madamla beraberim!” dedi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar bana e\u015flik edebilmek, benimle yaln\u0131z kalabilmek i\u00e7indi. Elimi hep olanca g\u00fcc\u00fcyle s\u0131kard\u0131, tik savunmas\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda, bek\u00e2r oldu\u011funu belli eden bir s\u00f6z ka\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131 a\u011fz\u0131ndan.<\/p>\n
Bana olan sevgisini g\u00f6stermek i\u00e7in, bah\u00e7eme bir \u015fark\u0131c\u0131 yollad\u0131… hep pencerelerime bakard\u0131; adam\u0131n s\u00f6yledi\u011fi \u015fark\u0131y\u0131 ezbere aktarabilirim size… mahalle bandosunu bile kap\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7irdi. Bense aptall\u0131k ettim. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu a\u00e7\u0131lmalara kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k vermeliydim. \u00dcstad Achil-le’in ate\u015fini s\u00f6nd\u00fcrd\u00fcm… Bunun \u00fczerine, kendisini istemedi\u011fimi sand\u0131 ve harekete ge\u00e7ti; ke\u015fke a\u00e7\u0131k a\u00e7\u0131k konu\u015fsayd\u0131; oysa \u00f6\u00e7 ald\u0131. \u00dcstad Ac-hille, B,..’yi, sevdi\u011fimi san\u0131yordu ve onu k\u0131skan\u0131yordu… Kendisine verdi\u011fim foto\u011fraf yard\u0131m\u0131yla b\u00fcy\u00fc yap\u0131p ac\u0131 \u00e7ektirdi bana; bu y\u0131l, bir s\u00fcr\u00fc kitap ve s\u00f6zl\u00fck kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rarak bu kan\u0131ya vard\u0131m. Epey \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bu foto\u011fraf \u00fcst\u00fcnde: derdimin ba\u015fl\u0131ca kayna\u011f\u0131 bu resim…<\/p>\n
Ger\u00e7ekten de, bu say\u0131klama, kolayca can yakma bi\u00e7imine d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir. Hatt\u00e2 bu s\u00fcrece, hasta olmayan insanlarda bile rastlanabilir. Kendine havran kad\u0131n, bir erke\u011fin kendisine tutkuyla ba\u011flanmamas\u0131na ak\u0131l erdiremez; elinde be\u011fenilmedi\u011fini g\u00f6steren a\u00e7\u0131k bir kan\u0131t varsa, o zaman, nefret edildi\u011fi yarg\u0131s\u0131na var\u0131verir. Yap\u0131lan b\u00fct\u00fcn ele\u015ftirileri k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131\u011fa, h\u0131nca verir. Ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131, birtak\u0131m karanl\u0131k g\u00fc\u00e7lerin i\u015fidir: ve bunlar\u0131n varl\u0131\u011f\u0131, kendisine verdi\u011fi \u00f6nemi do\u011frular. B\u00f6ylece, kolayca ben’ini b\u00fcy\u00fctme hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131na (megalomanie), ya da onun tersi olan, eziyete u\u011frad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kan\u0131s\u0131na kayabilir: kendi evreninin merkezi oldu\u011fu ve bundan ba\u015fka evren tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n mutlak temeli olur \u00e7\u0131kar.<\/p>\n
Kendine Hayran Kad\u0131n | Simone de Beauvoir ( Kad\u0131n “\u0130kinci Cins” )<\/strong><\/p>\nDipnotlar:<\/strong><\/p>\n1 Helene Deutsch, Psychology ofV\/omen (Kad\u0131n\u0131n Ruhsal P\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc).
\n2 Marie Bashkirtseff (1860-1884), Paris’te ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f ve \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f, Rus as\u0131ll\u0131 bir ressam. Epey g\u00fczelmi\u015f. (\u00c7ev.)
\n3 1873’te Paris’te do\u011fmu\u015f \u00fcnl\u00fc bir tiyatro oyuncusu. (\u00c7ev.)
\n4 \u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn\u00fc Fransa’da ge\u00e7irmi\u015f Rus as\u0131ll\u0131 bir kad\u0131n yazar (1764-1824). (\u00c7ev.)
\n5 1888’de Paris’te do\u011fmu\u015f \u00fcnl\u00fc karikat\u00fcrist Georges Breitel’in takma ad\u0131. (\u00c7ev.)\u00a0 \u00dcnl\u00fc Amerikan bale oyuncusu (1878 San Francisco -1926 Nice). (\u00c7ev.)
\n6 Moliere’in Le\u015f Femmes Savantes (Bilgi\u00e7 Kad\u0131nlar) adl\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fcr\u00fcs\u00fcndeki kad\u0131n kahramanlardan biri: fazla roman okumaktan sap\u0131tm\u0131\u015f, epey ya\u015fl\u0131 olmas\u0131na ra\u011fmen, b\u00fct\u00fcn erkekleri kendine \u00e2\u015f\u0131k sanan bir tip. (\u00c7ev.)
\n7 ‘ L’Erotomanie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Zaman zaman, kendine hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kad\u0131n\u0131n temel tutumu oldu\u011fu ileri s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr;(1) Ancak bu kavram\u0131 gere\u011finden fazla geni\u015fletip yaymak, La Rochefoucauld’nun bencillik kavram\u0131na yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi, onu y\u0131kmak olur. Ger\u00e7ekte, kendine hayranl\u0131k, \u00e7ok belirli bir yabanc\u0131la\u015fma s\u00fcrecidir: ben mutlak bir erek olarak al\u0131nmakta, \u00f6zne bunun i\u00e7ine ka\u00e7\u0131p saklanmaktad\u0131r. Kad\u0131nda, buna benzer \u2014sahici ya da de\u011fil\u2014 daha ba\u015fka bir […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[176],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-7140","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-kadin-a-dair"},"yoast_head":"\n
Kendine Hayran Kad\u0131n | Simone de Beauvoir - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/15\/kendine-hayran-kadin-simone-de-beauvoir\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Kendine Hayran Kad\u0131n | Simone de Beauvoir\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Zaman zaman, kendine hayranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n kad\u0131n\u0131n temel tutumu oldu\u011fu ileri s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr;(1) Ancak bu kavram\u0131 gere\u011finden fazla geni\u015fletip yaymak, La Rochefoucauld’nun bencillik kavram\u0131na yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi, onu y\u0131kmak olur. Ger\u00e7ekte, kendine hayranl\u0131k, \u00e7ok belirli bir yabanc\u0131la\u015fma s\u00fcrecidir: ben mutlak bir erek olarak al\u0131nmakta, \u00f6zne bunun i\u00e7ine ka\u00e7\u0131p saklanmaktad\u0131r. 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