{"id":7148,"date":"2018-08-17T07:59:48","date_gmt":"2018-08-17T04:59:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2018\/08\/17\/karanlik-isaretler-uc-aynali-kirk-oda-murathan-mungan\/"},"modified":"2024-04-27T06:29:41","modified_gmt":"2024-04-27T03:29:41","slug":"karanlik-isaretler-uc-aynali-kirk-oda-murathan-mungan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/17\/karanlik-isaretler-uc-aynali-kirk-oda-murathan-mungan\/","title":{"rendered":"Karanl\u0131k \u0130\u015faretler | \u00dc\u00e7 Aynal\u0131 K\u0131rk Oda – Murathan Mungan"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Kesesi y\u0131rt\u0131lmadan, torba i\u00e7inde, \u00fcstelik kordonu boynuna dolanm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, yar\u0131 bo\u011fulmu\u015f bir durumda do\u011fmu\u015f Ali. Ebe \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa kesesini y\u0131rtm\u0131\u015f, suyunu ak\u0131tm\u0131\u015f, bakm\u0131\u015f onunla da bitmiyor, kordon boynuna s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 dolanm\u0131\u015f, bo\u011fulmak \u00fczere, bu kez de daha y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klarla kordonu kopar\u0131p alm\u0131\u015f boynundan; ebenin bu canh\u0131ra\u015f \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 zaten g\u00fc\u00e7 ko\u015fullarda, \u00e7ok zor ve \u00fcstelik ilk kez do\u011fum yapan annenin daha \u00e7ok korkmas\u0131na neden olmu\u015f.<\/p>\n

\u00c7engelinden kurtulmu\u015f tahta panjurlar\u0131n pencereleri d\u00f6vd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc, ya\u011fmurlu, f\u0131rt\u0131nal\u0131, kas\u0131rgal\u0131 bir gecenin ileri bir saatinde, dokuz odal\u0131 evin b\u00fct\u00fcn odalar\u0131, kubbeli salonlar\u0131, y\u00fcksek tavanl\u0131 ge\u00e7itleri, kilerleri, avlular\u0131, ayvanlar\u0131, \u00e7akallar gibi ulurken, b\u00f6yle durumlarda d\u00fcnyan\u0131n her yerinde kesilen elektrikler orada da kesildi\u011fi i\u00e7in, az say\u0131da mum, \u00e7ok say\u0131da insan\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc ku\u015fkulu g\u00f6lgeler, isli fIs\u0131lt\u0131lar gibi ayd\u0131nlat\u0131rken, annesinin s\u0131kla\u015fan do\u011fum sanc\u0131lar\u0131 \u00fczerine, sa\u011fl\u0131k oca\u011f\u0131ndaki ebe, memlekete izine gitti\u011finden, uzak mahallelerin birindeki evinden g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fckle bulunup getirtilen, \u00fcstelik halk aras\u0131nda ad\u0131 pek tekin an\u0131lmayan cinli ebenin insan\u00fcst\u00fc gayretleriyle, saatler sonra do\u011fmu\u015f Ali.<\/p>\n

Tela\u015fl\u0131 takunya sesleri, avlUnun \u00f6te yan\u0131ndaki mutfaktan le\u011fen le\u011fen s\u0131cak sular ta\u015f\u0131m\u0131\u015f gece boyu; sanc\u0131lar i\u00e7inde k\u0131vranan gelinin korkular\u0131, ku\u015fkular\u0131 yat\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131laca\u011f\u0131 yerde, o le\u011fenlerde kal\u0131n buharlarla k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 t\u00fcten kanl\u0131 bezler, ona g\u00f6sterile g\u00f6sterile s\u0131k\u0131l\u0131yor, sular\u0131 uzun uzun s\u00fczd\u00fcr\u00fcl\u00fcyor, b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar her seferinde karanl\u0131k bir ayin gibi yineleniyormu\u015f. Buharlana buharlana azalan bezlerden sonra, sonunda kesesini y\u0131rtm\u0131\u015flar, kordonunu kesmi\u015fler; mumlanm\u0131\u015f pazenle kaplanarak iyice muhafaza edildi\u011fi halde, hala yan\u0131k ot ve tohum kokan muskalarla kundaklay\u0131p, d\u00f6rt bir yan\u0131n\u0131 nazarlarla, u\u011furlarla s\u00fcsledikleri be\u015fi\u011fine yat\u0131r\u0131p, \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7 gece mosmor bir et par\u00e7as\u0131 olarak h\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar i\u00e7inde ya\u015fam m\u00fccadelesi veren Ali’nin ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 beklemi\u015fler.<\/p>\n

Halalar\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131p duruyormu\u015f. Karanl\u0131k etekleri yerleri s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcrken, y\u00fcksek kubbeli ayvanlarda, derin avlularda yank\u0131lan\u0131p duruyormu\u015f sesleri: “Bu yabanc\u0131 kad\u0131n bir lanet do\u011furdu, u\u011fursuzluk do\u011furdu, g\u00fcnah do\u011furdu!.. ”
\nHalalar\u0131n\u0131n bu ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015f \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131na daha sonraki \u00e7ocukluk y\u0131llar\u0131nda tiryakisi oldu\u011fu Teksas, Tommiks gibi \u00e7izgi romanlarda bir kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k bulacakt\u0131: “U\u011fursuz bayku\u015f \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131… “<\/p>\n

Ne zaman evin i\u00e7inde halalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 duyulsa, bir \u00e7izgi roman karesi i\u00e7inde konu\u015fma balonlar\u0131 u\u00e7u\u015furdu g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcnde: “U\u011fursuz bayku\u015f \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131… “<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda, dedesi kula\u011f\u0131na ezan okuyarak ad\u0131n\u0131 vermi\u015f: Ali.<\/p>\n

S\u0131cak yaz geceleri a\u00e7\u0131k havada avlulara kurulmu\u015f tahtlara serilen beyaz cibinlikli yataklarda, k\u0131\u015flar\u0131 soba ba\u015flar\u0131nda, ya da herkesin etraf\u0131nda topla\u015f\u0131p ayaklar\u0131n\u0131 uzatarak \u0131s\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fck mangallar\u0131n \u00fczerine \u00f6rt\u00fclen kal\u0131n yorganlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda, her mevsim mahmur \u00f6\u011fle uykular\u0131 i\u00e7in uzand\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve her zaman mis gibi sabun kokan keten \u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fc sedirlerde, \u00e7o\u011fu kez ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 iki yana ac\u0131kl\u0131 ac\u0131kl\u0131 sallayarak ezgili ezgili konu\u015fan karanl\u0131k suratl\u0131 halalar\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan eski \u00e7a\u011flarda ge\u00e7en bir korku hikayesi gibi anlat\u0131lan, do\u011fumuna ait bu ilk hikaye, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fu boyunca kendini bir su\u00e7lu gibi hissetmesine, kendinde gizlenmi\u015f bir k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck aramas\u0131na neden olmu\u015ftur. O da di\u011ferleri gibi, do\u011fumunda karanl\u0131k bir i\u015faret, sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 sonradan ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacak k\u00f6t\u00fc bir esrar aray\u0131p durmu\u015ftur.<\/p>\n

Sonralar\u0131, y\u00f6rede her zaman yayg\u0131n bir bi\u00e7imde kabul g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f olan, “kesesiyle” do\u011fan \u00e7ocu\u011fun, ileride ailesine, oca\u011f\u0131na bet-bereket ta\u015f\u0131yan, se\u00e7ilmi\u015f, kutlu bir ki\u015fi olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131n i\u015fareti sayan k\u00f6yl\u00fc inan\u0131\u015flar\u0131ndan, kimi zaman a\u00e7\u0131k, kimi zaman sakl\u0131 bir gururla s\u00f6z edildiyse de, ruhunun derinliklerinde yank\u0131lan\u0131p duran, do\u011fumunda duydu\u011fu d\u00fcnyaya ili\u015fkin o ilk canh\u0131ra\u015f \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131n karanl\u0131k an\u0131s\u0131n\u0131, Ali’nin kulaklar\u0131ndan hi\u00e7bir \u015fey silememi\u015ftir.<\/p>\n

Kulakcinleri, onu ilk ziyarete geldi\u011finde, kulaklar\u0131n\u0131n di\u011fer insanlar\u0131nkinden farkl\u0131 duydu\u011funu ona s\u00f6ylediklerinde, y\u0131llard\u0131r i\u00e7inde bir ku\u015fku olarak ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n do\u011frulanmas\u0131ndan duydu\u011fu sevin\u00e7, onun ikinci do\u011fumu olmu\u015ftu sanki.
\n“Bir hikayenin nerede bitti\u011fini bilmek \u00f6nemlidir. \u0130nsanlar i\u015fte bunu bilemezler; hikayenin nerede bitti\u011fini. \u00c7o\u011fu zaman bilemezler…<\/p>\n

B\u00fct\u00fcn y\u0131k\u0131mlar\u0131n, mutsuzluklar\u0131n, \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fclerin esrar\u0131 buradad\u0131r. \u0130nsanlar\u0131n hayatlar\u0131n\u0131 hikayeler y\u00f6netir asl\u0131nda. Onlar, kendileri ya da kaderleri y\u00f6netir zannederler. Kader denilen \u015fey, inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z hikayelerin \u015fa\u015fmaz seyridir yaln\u0131zca. Duyduklar\u0131, dinledikleri, g\u00f6rd\u00fckleri, okuduklar\u0131, inand\u0131klar\u0131 hikayelerin \u015fa\u015fmaz seyri… Hayatlar\u0131n\u0131 hikayelere benzetmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131klar\u0131 i\u00e7in mutsuz olurlar. Hikayelere inan\u0131rlar \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. Hikayeleri hayat\u0131n kendisi zannederler. B\u00fct\u00fcn hayat\u0131m\u0131z hikayelerle ku\u015fat\u0131lm\u0131\u015fken, inanmay\u0131p da ne yaps\u0131n zavall\u0131c\u0131klar? B\u00fct\u00fcn kutsal kitaplar bile hikayelerle doludur. Tanr\u0131 yery\u00fcz\u00fcne hikaye bi\u00e7iminde g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr.”<\/p>\n

De\u011fer vermedi\u011fi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceler, ho\u015funa gitmeyen g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fler kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda, anlat\u0131lan herhangi bir \u015feye ikna olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, ya da ileri s\u00fcr\u00fclenlere inanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, dedesinin en \u00e7ok kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6z, “Bo\u015f hikaye”ydi. Elinin tersiyle bir hareket yapar ve “Bo\u015f hikaye,” derdi. “Bunlar bo\u015f hikaye.” Ali’nin \u00e7ocuklu\u011fu boyunca merak etti\u011fi \u015feylerden biri, dedesinin “dolu hikaye” diyebilece\u011fi hikayelerin nas\u0131l oldu\u011fuydu. Ama dedesi, hayat\u0131 boyunca, hemen her \u015feye, “Bo\u015f hikaye,” dedi. “Ya \u00f6l\u00fcm?” diye sorduklar\u0131ndaysa, “Onu \u00f6l\u00fcnce anlayaca\u011f\u0131z,” derdi. “Belki de hi\u00e7 anlamayaca\u011f\u0131z. \u00d6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc bile anlamayaca\u011f\u0131z. Yaln\u0131zca yok olaca\u011f\u0131z. Ard\u0131m\u0131zda kalanlar, bizim \u00f6ld\u00fckten sonra ruh ya da ba\u015fka bir \u015fey olarak ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnecekler. Onlar \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn hayat\u0131 var san\u0131yorlar.<\/p>\n

Belki \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn kendine g\u00f6re de olsa bir hayat\u0131 yoktur. \u00d6l\u00fcm, kendini de \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcr belki… ”
\nAnnesi, “\u00c7ocu\u011fun kafas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor \u015fu baban! S\u00f6yledikleri hi\u00e7bir g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fe, hi\u00e7bir dine uymuyor, sa\u00e7masapan \u015feyler!
\nMuska yazar gibi konu\u015fuyor. Tabiattaki her \u015feyden bir hurafe gibi s\u00f6z ediyor. Biz ne \u00f6\u011fretiyoruz \u00e7ocu\u011fa, baban neler anlat\u0131yor?
\nBak, sonra s\u00f6ylemedi deme, baban sonunda bu \u00e7ocu\u011fu kendisi gibi meczup edecek!”<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklu\u011fu boyunca, hem en b\u00fcy\u00fck e\u011flencesi, hem en b\u00fcy\u00fck korkusu dedesi oldu. Tuhaf bir ya\u015fl\u0131yd\u0131. O zamanlar, dedesi bin ya\u015f\u0131ndaym\u0131\u015f gibi gelirdi Ali’ye. D\u00fcnyan\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn zamanlar\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f gibi gelirdi. Onun ya\u015f\u0131 yoktu sanki, ya da masal ya\u015f\u0131nda bir adamd\u0131. S\u00f6yledi\u011fi tuhaf s\u00f6zler b\u00f6yle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc. Ya\u015fl\u0131 olmas\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131n \u00e7evikti. Kuru dal gibiydi kollar\u0131, bacaklar\u0131, g\u00f6vdesi. Kemikleri ve nefesi kuvvetliydi. B\u00fct\u00fcn mumlar\u0131 bir anda s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

Yat\u0131rlara, ziyaretlere gittiklerinde, ilkin, yanmakta olan b\u00fct\u00fcn mumlar\u0131 bir nefeste s\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcr, sonra onlar\u0131 tek tek yeniden yakard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Bu yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n herhangi bir inan\u0131\u015fa s\u0131\u011fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, niye b\u00f6yle yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 sorduklar\u0131nda, kay\u0131ts\u0131zca \u015funlar\u0131 s\u00f6ylerdi: “Zaman\u0131n dileklerine ate\u015fi yeniden bulduruyorum. Baz\u0131 umutlar ba\u015fka zamanlar\u0131nd\u0131r.”
\nKimse bir \u015fey anlamazd\u0131 s\u00f6ylediklerinden, yine de s\u00f6ylediklerinin bir hikmeti oldu\u011funa inan\u0131rlard\u0131.
\nA\u011fa\u00e7lara \u00e7\u0131kar oturur, g\u00fcnler boyu a\u011fa\u00e7lardan inmezdi dedesi.
\nAli’ye, “D\u00fcnya a\u011fa\u00e7lardan ba\u015fka t\u00fcrl\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyor,” derdi. “\u0130nsan a\u011fa\u00e7tayken d\u00fcnyaya k\u0131yam\u0131yor. \u0130nsanlar ke\u015fke a\u011fa\u00e7lardan hi\u00e7 inmeselerdi. Ama ben art\u0131k \u00e7ok ya\u015fl\u0131y\u0131m. Geceleri so\u011fuk oluyor.”
\nAli’nin babas\u0131, onun i\u00e7in, “Bir g\u00fcn hayattan cayd\u0131, sonra b\u00f6yle oldu,” derdi.
\nAli sorard\u0131: “Hayattan caymak ne demek?”
\n“B\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce anlars\u0131n,” derlerdi.
\nB\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc. Anlad\u0131.
\nDedesi \u00f6ld\u00fckten sonra, Ali dedesini \u00e7ok \u00f6zledi.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ocuklu\u011fu boyunca hep, bir g\u00fcn dedesinin “Dolu hikaye” diyebilece\u011fi bir \u015fey yazabilmenin hayalini kurmu\u015ftu, sanki dedesinin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcyle, kendi hikayesi de yar\u0131m kald\u0131.
\nHalalar\u0131, “Babam\u0131z b\u00f6yle de\u011fildi,” derlerdi hep bir a\u011f\u0131zdan.
\nZaten \u00e7o\u011funlukla hep bir a\u011f\u0131zdan konu\u015furlard\u0131. Katlanm\u0131\u015f ka\u011f\u0131ttan kesilerek yan yana \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131lm\u0131\u015f ka\u011f\u0131t bebekler gibi birbirinin ayn\u0131 olan bu kad\u0131nlar, y\u0131llar y\u0131l\u0131 yan yana ya\u015famaktan, hep ayn\u0131 kelimelerlerle d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, ayn\u0131 kelimelerle konu\u015fur hale gelmi\u015flerdi; birinin kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden di\u011feri, konu\u015fmay\u0131 aynen ve rahatl\u0131kla s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilirdi. Ba\u015flar\u0131 hep ayn\u0131 anda a\u011fr\u0131rd\u0131; zaten s\u00fcrekli ba\u015flar\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131r, al\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131 ve kal\u0131n ka\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 kaplayan ayn\u0131 karanl\u0131k \u00e7atk\u0131lardan \u00e7atarlard\u0131. Y\u00fczlerinde s\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 bir ifadeyle hep u\u011funa u\u011funa gezerlerdi ev i\u00e7lerinde, ayvan tenhalar\u0131nda, kiler kuytular\u0131nda. Kar\u0131nlar\u0131 hep ayn\u0131 anda ac\u0131k\u0131r, canlar\u0131 ayn\u0131 anda, ayn\u0131 \u015feyi \u00e7ekerdi.
\nVe her gece hepsi ayn\u0131 r\u00fcyay\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrlerdi:
\n“Sakallar\u0131 g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne kadar inmi\u015f, bembeyaz mintanlar i\u00e7inde, ye\u015fil bir at s\u0131rt\u0131nda bir ermi\u015f bana do\u011fru yakla\u015ft\u0131 ve… ”
\nBabalar\u0131n\u0131n \u015fimdiki halinden ho\u015fnut olmayan halalar s\u00fcrekli a\u00e7\u0131klarlard\u0131: “Babam\u0131z hi\u00e7 b\u00f6yle de\u011fildi. Bir \u015eeyhin yat\u0131r\u0131nda tam \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7 gece uyuyakalm\u0131\u015f, uyand\u0131ktan sonra bir daha hi\u00e7 eskisi gibi olmad\u0131. Uyan\u0131p eve d\u00f6nd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde art\u0131k b\u00f6yle olmu\u015ftu.”<\/p>\n

Ac\u0131kl\u0131 g\u00f6zlerle bakt\u0131klar\u0131, “b\u00f6yle olan” babalar\u0131, az \u00f6tede kendi alemine dalm\u0131\u015f, konu\u015fulanlar\u0131 dinlememeyi \u00e7oktan \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f, ayd\u0131nl\u0131k y\u00fcz\u00fcnde as\u0131l\u0131 kalm\u0131\u015f, hi\u00e7 de\u011fi\u015fmeyen g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyi\u015fle, d\u00fcnyay\u0131 a\u015fm\u0131\u015f bak\u0131\u015flarla dalg\u0131n dalg\u0131n d\u00fcnyaya bakard\u0131. Dedesi, ona, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n ikinci hali gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc hep. D\u00fcnya i\u00e7inde bir ba\u015fka d\u00fcnya olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Kimi zaman \u00e7ok akl\u0131ba\u015f\u0131nda laflar eden, kimi zaman bir \u00e7ocuk gibi sa\u00e7masapan konu\u015fan bu ya\u015fl\u0131 adam, s\u00f6ylenenleri i\u015fine geldi\u011fi gibi anlamakta da ustala\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Can\u0131 nas\u0131l isterse \u00f6yle biri oluyordu. Bazen bir ermi\u015f, bazen bir \u015fair, bazen bir bilge, bazen bir \u00e7ocuk, bazen bir meczup gibi konu\u015fuyor, bir dedi\u011fi bir dedi\u011fini tutmuyordu. Kendini tutarl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn y\u00fck\u00fcmlerinden kurtarm\u0131\u015f, sorumlulu\u011fun b\u00fct\u00fcn zincirlerinden bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015f, edindi\u011fi bu \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fckle de akl\u0131na esti\u011fi gibi ya\u015fayan biri olup \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u0130nsanlar, bazen b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ciddiyetle kulak verseler de, kimi zaman alayc\u0131 yakla\u015f salar da, asl\u0131nda ona kar\u015f\u0131, korkuyla kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k tuhaf bir \u00e7ekingenlik duyuyorlard\u0131. Tekin de\u011fildi.<\/p>\n

K\u0131rklara kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ne yapaca\u011f\u0131 belli olmazd\u0131.
\nFazla bula\u015fmamakta, uzak durmakta hay\u0131r vard\u0131.
\n“Ben kafamdaki zamanda ya\u015f\u0131yorum,” demi\u015fti bir keresinde.
\n“Ke\u015fke onu daha \u00f6nce ke\u015ffetseydim. Kafamdaki zaman\u0131.” Ali, dedesini hep g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyerek ve hayranl\u0131kla dinlerdi. Ona \u00f6zenip “Ailemiz” ba\u015fl\u0131kl\u0131 okul \u00f6devinde, “Biz b\u00fcy\u00fck bir aileyiz. Y\u00fczlerce halam vard\u0131r. Hepsi ayn\u0131 elbiseyi giyer. Sesleri mutfakta tenekeden \u00e7\u0131kar. Dedem uzak bir cindir. Evin i\u00e7inde gezer. Ama her zaman \u00e7\u0131kmaz ortaya. Ben de \u0131slak d\u00fc\u015fler g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u00fcm. Kuyumuzun suyundan galiba. Annem ‘Yurtta\u015fl\u0131k Bilgisi’ kitab\u0131nda resimdir.
\nBabam bir meslektir. Davavekilidir. Evde hi\u00e7 babaanne yoktur.
\nHepsi mezarl\u0131kta oturur. Ailemiz saklamba\u00e7t\u0131r,” diye yazm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\n\u00d6\u011fretmeninin, bu \u00f6devi, kayg\u0131l\u0131 bir y\u00fcz ve derin endi\u015felerle annesine iletmesi \u00fczerine evde b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kavga \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131: “Ben sana s\u00f6ylemi\u015ftim,” diye bas bas ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131yordu annesi. Halalar\u0131n\u0131n \u015fa\u015fk\u0131nl\u0131ktan g\u00f6zleri k\u0131s\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, sesleri \u00e7\u0131kmaz olmu\u015ftu. Yabanc\u0131 gelinin boynu damar damar olmu\u015f, o u\u011fursuz mavi g\u00f6zleri yana kaym\u0131\u015f bir halde, ulumaya benzer bir sesle kendinden ge\u00e7mi\u015f, ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131p duruyordu: “Bacak kadar \u00e7ocu\u011fu da kendine benzetti. \u00d6dev diye \u015fu yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131na bak Allaha\u015fk\u0131na! Ben, ‘Yurtta\u015fl\u0131k Bilgisi’nde bir resimmi\u015fim, sen de bir davavekili!” Bu son s\u00f6zde, o\u011flunun durumundan yeterince kayg\u0131lanmayan babaya bir dokundurma vard\u0131:<\/p>\n

\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o, kendini bir “avukat” olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcyordu. Oysa avukat de\u011fil, yaln\u0131zca bir davavekiliydi. Hukuk bitirmemi\u015fti. Avukat bulunmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlar\u0131n Mardin’inde davavekilli\u011fi “sertifikas\u0131” alm\u0131\u015f, ard\u0131ndan davalara girmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Oysa \u015fimdi zaman de\u011fi\u015fmi\u015f, art\u0131k gen\u00e7 nesilden Hukuk Fak\u00fcltesi mezunu, kendi deyi\u015fleriyle, “z\u0131mba gibi” avukatlar yeti\u015fmi\u015f ve memleketleri olan Mardin’de, hat\u0131rl\u0131 ailelerinin deste\u011fiyle birer yaz\u0131hane a\u00e7arak eskilerle ac\u0131mas\u0131zca rekabete giri\u015fmi\u015flerdi ve en az\u0131ndan ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta fazla belli etmeseler de, \u00f6ncekileri k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcms\u00fcyor, kendilerine “subay”, davavekillerine “astsubay” muamelesi yap\u0131yorlard\u0131. Bu da, haliyle a\u011f\u0131rlar\u0131na gidiyordu \u00f6ncekilerin. Yani davavekillerinin. Ne de olsa, onlar\u0131n da bunca y\u0131ll\u0131k zengin tecr\u00fcbeleri ve birikimleri vard\u0131. Gerine gerine kendilerine “avukat” diyen o d\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocuklar\u0131, isteseler bir kalemde siler atarlard\u0131 en zor davalarda. Bu tecr\u00fcbesiz t\u0131f\u0131llar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda kendilerini birer ya\u015fl\u0131 kurt gibi g\u00f6ren b\u00fct\u00fcn o eski ku\u015fak davavekilleri, bir an \u00f6nce, onlarla kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya gelecekleri, bu mektep \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na meydan okumalar\u0131na, boylar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc almalar\u0131na imkan verecek di\u015fli davalar bekliyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Davavekili babas\u0131, o\u011flunun da kendini, baz\u0131lar\u0131 gibi bir davavekili olarak g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc, onun “Ailemiz” ba\u015fl\u0131kl\u0131 \u00f6devi sayesinde b\u00f6ylelikle \u00f6\u011frenmi\u015f oldu. \u0130\u00e7erlediyse de pek belli etmedi. Cumhuriyet \u00fclk\u00fclerine s\u0131k\u0131 s\u0131k\u0131ya ba\u011fl\u0131 annenin sinirlerinin yat\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131 bekledi. Oysa o sinirler kolay kolay yat\u0131\u015faca\u011fa benzemiyordu.
\n\u015eu benzetmeye bak! diyordu: Ailemiz saklamba\u00e7t\u0131r! Ne demekse?
\nHem niye, hep ben ebe oluyorum?
\nDedesinin boynunu i\u00e7eri g\u00f6merek, m\u0131r\u0131l m\u0131r\u0131l kitap okumas\u0131 \u00e7ok ho\u015funa gidiyordu Ali’nin. Dedesi kendinden ge\u00e7mi\u015f bir bi\u00e7imde, kendi hayal alemine g\u00f6m\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f kitap okurken seyretmek ho\u015funa gidiyordu. Dedesinin yaprak ye\u015fili bir kuma\u015f par\u00e7as\u0131yla kal\u0131n \u00e7er\u00e7eveli g\u00f6zl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn camlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r sili\u015fini, alt duda\u011f\u0131na yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131ra yap\u0131\u015ft\u0131ra \u0131slatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 buru\u015fuk, esmer, uzun parmaklar\u0131n\u0131n, sayfalar\u0131 a\u011f\u0131r a\u011f\u0131r \u00e7eviri\u015fini seyretmek ho\u015funa gidiyordu. Dedesi, okurken bazen g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u00fcyor, bazen kederleniyor, bazen de okudu\u011fu kitaplarla y\u00fcksek sesle konu\u015fuyordu. Bir keresinde, okumakta oldu\u011fu kitaptan hiddete kap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, bir insanla kavga eder gibi, b\u00fcy\u00fck bir kavgaya tutu\u015fmu\u015f, titreyen parmaklar\u0131yla kitab\u0131n sayfalar\u0131n\u0131 uzun uzun tehdit etmi\u015fti. Sonra da Ali, dedesinin kitab\u0131 par\u00e7alayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrken, o, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey olmam\u0131\u015f gibi kald\u0131r\u0131p dolaptaki yerine koymu\u015ftu. Pencere \u00f6n\u00fcndeki geni\u015f sedirinde, i\u00e7leri tok tutulmu\u015f uzun yast\u0131klara yaslanarak ya da sedef kakmal\u0131 rahlesinin ba\u015f\u0131nda iki b\u00fckl\u00fcm olarak okurdu kitaplar\u0131. Halalar\u0131, dedesinin Kur’an d\u0131\u015f\u0131ndaki kitaplar\u0131 da rahleye koyarak okumas\u0131na nedense i\u00e7erliyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ok imrendi\u011fi halde, dedesinin okudu\u011fu kitaplar\u0131 okuyam\u0131yordu Ali. Hepsi Arap\u00e7ayd\u0131 onlar\u0131n. Arap\u00e7a yaz\u0131n\u0131n sa\u011fdan sola yaz\u0131l\u0131yor olmas\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 anlam\u0131yor, ama bunu b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc buluyordu.<\/p>\n

Arap\u00e7ay\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fcl\u00fc buluyordu. Uzun s\u00fcre Arap\u00e7a yaz\u0131yla yaln\u0131zca b\u00fcy\u00fcler, dualar ve muskalar yaz\u0131l\u0131r zannetmi\u015fti. Ali’nin anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 kelimeler, \u00e7\u00f6zemedi\u011fi i\u015faretler ve esrarl\u0131 \u015fekiller i\u00e7eren bu yaz\u0131n\u0131n kendi ba\u015f\u0131na bir b\u00fcy\u00fc g\u00fcc\u00fc oldu\u011funa inanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ba\u015fka dillerde de dua edilebilece\u011fini, ba\u015fka dillerde de muska yaz\u0131labilece\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendi\u011finde \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. O, yaln\u0131zca Arap\u00e7ayla dua edilir, b\u00fcy\u00fc yap\u0131l\u0131r san\u0131yordu. Sanki Arap\u00e7a g\u00f6r\u00fclen r\u00fcyalar bile bamba\u015fkayd\u0131, oysa ev ahalisinin tersine o da annesi gibi r\u00fcyalar\u0131n\u0131 T\u00fcrk\u00e7e g\u00f6r\u00fcyordu. Annesi, onu bu konuda teselli ediyordu: Sen r\u00fcyalar\u0131n\u0131 T\u00fcrk\u00e7e g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn i\u00e7in okulda harfleri kolay \u00f6\u011freniyorsun.<\/p>\n

Dedesinin, babas\u0131n\u0131n ve b\u00f6yle \u00f6nemli kararlar\u0131n al\u0131nmas\u0131 s\u0131ras\u0131nda y\u00fczlerinde ta\u015f gibi bir ifadeyle duvar dibinde s\u0131ra s\u0131ra duran halalar\u0131n\u0131n arzusu \u00fczerine, Kur’an kursuna g\u00f6nderildi\u011finde, en \u00e7ok dedesinin okudu\u011fu kitaplar\u0131, art\u0131k kendinin de okuyabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnerek sevinmi\u015fti. Kur’an kursuna ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, bu karara \u015fiddetle kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kan annesi, bir hafta hasta yatt\u0131, onun da halalar\u0131 gibi ba\u015f\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131, o da ba\u015f\u0131na \u00e7atk\u0131 \u00e7att\u0131; yaln\u0131z onun \u00e7atk\u0131s\u0131, halalar\u0131n\u0131n tersine \u00e7i\u00e7ekli t\u00fclbenttendi. B\u00fcy\u00fck bir ihanete u\u011fram\u0131\u015f\u00e7as\u0131na, g\u00fcnlerce s\u0131z\u0131l\u0131 ve k\u00fcs bir ifadeyle, ba\u015fta Ali olmak \u00fczere herkese \u0131slak \u0131slak bakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u0130lk ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, b\u00fct\u00fcn bir yaz boyunca her g\u00fcn gitti Kur’an kursuna, “mektepler a\u00e7\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda”daysa yaln\u0131zca cumartesileri.<\/p>\n

Annesi, hi\u00e7 olmazsa bu \u015fart\u0131n\u0131 kabul ettirmi\u015fti. Kur’an kursunda b\u00fcy\u00fck ba\u015far\u0131 g\u00f6stermi\u015f, k\u0131sa zamanda Arap\u00e7a yazmay\u0131, okumay\u0131 s\u00f6km\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Ezbere bildi\u011fi dualar\u0131n say\u0131s\u0131 artm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ama Ali \u00e7ok h\u0131rsl\u0131yd\u0131, bunlarla yetinmiyordu. Art\u0131k hatim indirmek, yasin okumak, hatta Ulu Camii’de sala verip, yan\u0131k yan\u0131k mevlit okumak istiyordu. Cumalar\u0131 da babas\u0131yla hi\u00e7 sektirmeden \u015eehidiye Camii’nde cuma namazlar\u0131n\u0131 eda ediyordu. G\u00fcn\u00fcne g\u00f6re, bu namazlara dedesi bazen geliyor, bazen gelmiyordu. O gelmedi\u011fi bazenlerde, dedesi, omuzlar\u0131n\u0131 silkerek, “Bug\u00fcn m\u00fcsl\u00fcman de\u011filim,” diyordu. “Kimseyi kand\u0131rmak i\u00e7imden gelmiyor.”<\/p>\n

Halalar\u0131n\u0131n, dedesine ili\u015fkin en \u00e7ok ve en s\u0131k kulland\u0131klar\u0131 c\u00fcmle: “Bizi elaleme rezil etti!”ydi. Halalar\u0131n\u0131n d\u00fcnyada en \u00e7ekindikleri, en korktuklar\u0131 \u015fey, elaleme rezil olmakt\u0131. Koca d\u00fcnyada bir halalar\u0131 vard\u0131, bir de “elalem”.
\nBaz\u0131 zamanlar dedesinin g\u00fcnlerce ortal\u0131klardan kayboldu\u011fu, kimselere g\u00f6z\u00fckmedi\u011fi oluyordu. G\u00fcnlerce sonra, her seferinde de ba\u015fka bir ta\u015f\u0131n alt\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p geliyordu. Bu kaybolu\u015flar\u0131n ilk zamanlar\u0131 evi b\u00fcy\u00fck bir tela\u015f ve yeis kaplarken, zamanla buna da al\u0131\u015f\u0131ld\u0131, art\u0131k kimse eskisi gibi ard\u0131 s\u0131ra avare olmuyordu onun.<\/p>\n

B\u00fcy\u00fck ayazlar yapan, dona kesen karak\u0131\u015flarda, kimi geceler gidip, \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131 hamamlar\u0131nda k\u00fclhanlarda yat\u0131yordu. Bunu \u00f6\u011frenen halalar, gene \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa kanat \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131yorlard\u0131 avlularda, ayvanlarda: “Bizi elaleme rezil etti! Bizim gibi b\u00fcy\u00fck bir ailenin o\u011flu, yetim tellaklar gibi k\u00fclhanlarda yat\u0131yor! \u0130yi ki annemiz bug\u00fcnleri g\u00f6rmedi!”<\/p>\n

Hep bir a\u011f\u0131zdan s\u00f6ylenen buradaki “annemiz”le kastedilen, her \u015feyleri t\u0131pat\u0131p ayn\u0131 halalar aras\u0131nda en \u00f6nemli ayr\u0131l\u0131kt\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc halalar\u0131n hi\u00e7birinin annesi ayn\u0131 de\u011fildi. Hepsi de ayr\u0131 kad\u0131nlar\u0131n k\u0131zlar\u0131yd\u0131. Ya\u015fam\u0131 boyunca say\u0131s\u0131z kad\u0131n alan dede, o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011fu sahibi olana kadar evlenip durmu\u015ftu. Allahtan hi\u00e7bir kar\u0131s\u0131 uzun ya\u015famam\u0131\u015f, birbiri ard\u0131ndan \u00f6lenler, b\u00f6ylelikle her seferinde, bir “d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fcye” yer a\u00e7m\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Bunun sonucunda, bir ev dolusu k\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu sahibi olmu\u015ftu. Son kar\u0131s\u0131, ona bir o\u011flan \u00e7ocu\u011fu do\u011furduktan sonra, di\u011fer kad\u0131nlar\u0131n aksine, nispet yapar gibi uzun y\u0131llar gerine gerine ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f, o\u011flan anas\u0131 olman\u0131n keyfini ve saltanat\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f; hatta \u0130stanbullara bile gezmeye gitmi\u015fti. Ali, gene de babaannesine yeti\u015fememi\u015f, onu hi\u00e7 tan\u0131mam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Ali i\u00e7in, o, yaln\u0131zca duvardaki resimdi. Mardin’in tek foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 olan S\u00fcryani foto\u011fraf\u00e7\u0131n\u0131n r\u00f6tu\u015ftan tan\u0131nmaz etti\u011fi bir y\u00fczle duvarlar\u0131n birinde halalar\u0131ndan biri gibi as\u0131l\u0131 duruyordu.<\/p>\n

Dedesi, yedi kere hacca gitmi\u015f; evinin kap\u0131s\u0131, yedi kere t\u00fcrbe ye\u015fili renkle \u00e7er\u00e7evelenmi\u015f, \u00e7i\u00e7eklendirilmi\u015fti. Adet oldu\u011fu \u00fczre, hacca gidip gelenlerin kap\u0131s\u0131 t\u00fcrbe ye\u015filine boyanarak hane sahibinin hac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 c\u00fcmle aleme duyurulur; b\u00f6ylelikle kap\u0131 \u00f6n\u00fcnden ge\u00e7enler, o evin bir hac\u0131 evi oldu\u011funu bilirdi. Bu kap\u0131lar\u0131n hepsi Kabe’ye bakard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ali’nin dedesi, b\u00fct\u00fcn hayat\u0131 boyunca ticaretle u\u011fra\u015ft\u0131, sessiz, sakin bir ya\u015fam s\u00fcrd\u00fc. Her zaman i\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fck bir yap\u0131s\u0131 vard\u0131; \u00e7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r, tutumlu ya\u015far, derin d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, az konu\u015fur, konu\u015ftu\u011funda da \u00f6zl\u00fc ve g\u00fczel s\u00f6zler s\u00f6ylerdi. Her durumda kullan\u0131labilecek \u00e7ok say\u0131da veciz s\u00f6z bilirdi. Herkesten sayg\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc. Her konuya biraz mizahi yakla\u015fan bir yan\u0131, h\u0131nz\u0131rcas\u0131na muzip bir bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131. \u00d6l\u00e7\u00fcl\u00fc, terbiyeliydi. Edep erkan bilir, latife etmeyi severdi. Zaman i\u00e7inde, babas\u0131ndan kalan servete servet, arazilerine araziler katarak i\u015fleri iyice b\u00fcy\u00fctt\u00fc. K\u00f6yler ald\u0131, k\u00f6yler satt\u0131. Her devir de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011finde \u00e7\u0131karlar\u0131n\u0131 korumas\u0131n\u0131 bildi. Her zaman iktidar partilerine, h\u00fck\u00fcmetlere yak\u0131n oldu. \u0130ktidar olacak partiyi sezmek konusunda, hassas bir burnu ve sa\u011flam hesap bilgisi vard\u0131. Destekledi\u011fi parti, mutlaka o y\u0131l se\u00e7imleri kazanarak iktidar olurdu.<\/p>\n

H\u0131rsl\u0131yd\u0131, a\u00e7g\u00f6zl\u00fcyd\u00fc, herkesin paras\u0131nda, mal\u0131nda m\u00fclk\u00fcnde g\u00f6z\u00fc vard\u0131. Herkesin paras\u0131n\u0131n mutlaka kendisinden \u00e7al\u0131nan bir f\u0131rsatla kazan\u0131lm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr, bundan \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc derin bir hakk\u0131 yenmi\u015flik duygusu i\u00e7inde, kendinden ba\u015fka servet yapm\u0131\u015f herkese fena i\u00e7erlerdi. D\u00fcnyadaki b\u00fct\u00fcn paralar\u0131 o kazanmak istiyordu \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. \u00c7\u0131karlar\u0131na dokunuldu\u011funda, bamba\u015fka biri kesilir, sonsuz bir kay\u0131ts\u0131zl\u0131kla zalimle\u015firdi. Alacakl\u0131lar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 ac\u0131mas\u0131zd\u0131. \u0130htilafa d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc k\u00f6ylerin ve k\u00f6yl\u00fclerin burnundan getirir, topraklar\u0131n\u0131 ellerinden al\u0131r, ilkin \u00fcr\u00fcnlerini, yetmedi mi, k\u00f6ylerini yakt\u0131r\u0131r, jandarmalara bast\u0131r\u0131r, daha k\u0131zd\u0131 m\u0131 da, e\u015fk\u0131yaya vurdururdu.<\/p>\n

40’l\u0131 y\u0131llarda da, 50’li y\u0131llarda da, 60’l\u0131 y\u0131llarda da, hep o kazand\u0131. K\u00fcrtleri, Araplar\u0131n do\u011fal d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131 sayar, Ankaral\u0131lardan \u00e7ekinir, onlarla iyi ge\u00e7inmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. T\u00fcrk demezdi, Arap ya da K\u00fcrt olmayan herkes, ona g\u00f6re, Ankaral\u0131yd\u0131. Ayr\u0131ca, Ankara’n\u0131n memurlar\u0131n\u0131 ve askerlerini ho\u015f tutmak gerekti\u011fini bilirdi. Mardin’den se\u00e7ilecek her mebus ya da senat\u00f6r aday\u0131n\u0131n onun onay\u0131na ihtiyac\u0131 vard\u0131. Ka\u00e7 k\u00f6y\u00fcn reyi onun ellerinde, bir \u00e7ift s\u00f6z\u00fcndeydi.<\/p>\n

Bunlar\u0131n d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda, “kendi halinde zarars\u0131z bir adam” diyebilece\u011finiz kadar sade, al\u00e7akg\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc; t\u00fct\u00fcnden, g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015ften ve hal\u0131dan anlayan; bitki ve \u00e7i\u00e7ek yeti\u015ftirmekten, ut ve kanun dinlemekten, Arap\u00e7a \u015fark\u0131lar ve gazeller s\u00f6ylemekten ho\u015flanan ince ruhlu bir insand\u0131. Fakirlere yard\u0131m etmekten, dilencilere sadaka da\u011f\u0131tmaktan, a\u00e7-yoksul giydirmekten, \u00e7e\u015fme, hayrat yapt\u0131rmaktan ho\u015flan\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Her ramazan avlularda kazanlarla pi\u015fen yemekler, f\u0131r\u0131nlar dolusu pideler ve \u015fembusekler yoksullara, yetimlere, kimsesizlere da\u011f\u0131t\u0131l\u0131r, hay\u0131rdualar\u0131 al\u0131n\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130slam u\u011fruna, kafirlerin eziyetlerine katlanan m\u00fcminlerin hikayelerini dinlerken, g\u00f6zleri nemlenir; halk hikayelerinin bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc birbirlerine kavu\u015famayan a\u015f\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ektikleri cefalar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 tutamazd\u0131. A\u015fk\u0131, \u00e7\u00f6lde kaybolmak, diye tan\u0131mlard\u0131. Ona g\u00f6re d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en iyi hikayeleri, sonunda, \u00e7\u00f6lde a\u015fk\u0131ndan kaybolanlar\u0131n hikayeleriydi.<\/p>\n

Bu y\u00fczden Ali, \u00e7ocuklu\u011fu boyunca, a\u015fk\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6lde kaybolmak sand\u0131.<\/p>\n

Yaln\u0131zca kendinin kulland\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve yaln\u0131zca Arap istasyonlar\u0131n\u0131 dinledi\u011fi \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 kuvvetli bir radyosu vard\u0131. Ali’nin birka\u00e7 kere o radyoya dokunmas\u0131na izin vermi\u015f, ona uzak istasyonlarda \u00e7alan dokunakl\u0131 Arap\u00e7a \u015fark\u0131lar dinletmi\u015fti. O \u015fark\u0131lar\u0131n buraya \u00e7ok uzak bir yerlerde s\u00f6ylendi\u011fini bilmek Ali’yi kederlendirmi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Ya\u015fland\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ve b\u00fct\u00fcn kar\u0131lar\u0131 \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde, d\u00fcnya nimetlerine s\u0131rt\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f, art\u0131k hi\u00e7bir \u015feyde g\u00f6z\u00fc kalmam\u0131\u015f, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n fani ve tali y\u00fcklerinden kurtulmu\u015f, kendini iyiden iyiye okumaya, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ve tabiata vermi\u015fti.<\/p>\n

Ali, \u00f6ncesini bilmedi\u011fi dedesini i\u015fte o zamanlar\u0131nda tan\u0131y\u0131p sevdi. Halalar\u0131n\u0131n dedi\u011fine bak\u0131l\u0131rsa, \u00fcnl\u00fc bir \u015feyhin yat\u0131r\u0131nda \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7 gece uyuyakald\u0131ktan sonra bamba\u015fka biri olarak Mardin’e d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f, bu yar\u0131 meczup haliyle herkesi \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtm\u0131\u015f ve ondan sonra da bir daha hi\u00e7 eskisi gibi olmam\u0131\u015f, cinler taraf\u0131ndan al\u0131narak, art\u0131k k\u0131rklara kar\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu s\u00f6ylenen Mardin e\u015fraf\u0131ndan cennetmekan Hac\u0131 Zeyneddin Efendi’yi, i\u015fte o zamanlar\u0131nda tan\u0131y\u0131p sevdi Ali; bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun b\u00fct\u00fcn \u00f6mr\u00fcne yay\u0131lan sevgisiyle sevdi.<\/p>\n

Okul d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015flerinde eve girer girmez, ilkin dedesini sorard\u0131:
\n“Dedem nerede?”
\nDede o\u0131tada yoksa, bu soruyu, sanki o \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f de yas\u0131n\u0131 tutuyor, k\u00f6t\u00fc haberi bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc s\u00f6yleyemiyormu\u015f gibi duran halalar\u0131, ba\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 her anlama gelebilecek bir bi\u00e7imde iki yana umutsuzca sallayarak cevapland\u0131r\u0131yormu\u015f gibi yaparak, kayg\u0131 ve merak yaratmaktan pek ho\u015flan\u0131rlard\u0131.
\nAli’nin babas\u0131 da ak\u015famlar\u0131 eve geli\u015finde, ortal\u0131klarda g\u00f6remedi\u011fi babas\u0131n\u0131, kendince buldu\u011fu bir sevimlilikle kar\u0131s\u0131na sorard\u0131:
\n“Babam gene f\u0131\u00e7\u0131s\u0131nda m\u0131?”
\nAli’nin babas\u0131, babas\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nl\u0131klar\u0131yla ba\u015f edemeyince, onu Diyojen’e benzeterek durumu hafifletmeye; tarihten se\u00e7ilmi\u015f b\u00f6yle “m\u00fcmtaz” bir \u00f6rnekle, babas\u0131na, ho\u015fg\u00f6r\u00fclebilece\u011fi sevimli ve sayg\u0131n bir kimlik kazand\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. \u00d6zellikle de zaman zaman, daha do\u011frusu s\u0131k s\u0131k mahcup d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc kar\u0131s\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131. Kar\u0131s\u0131na kal\u0131rsa, b\u00fct\u00fcn bu \u015firin g\u00f6sterme gayretlerine kar\u015f\u0131n, kay\u0131npederinin bir Diyojen olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilecek kadar akl\u0131 ve tecr\u00fcbesi vard\u0131 \u00e7ok \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr! Kocas\u0131n\u0131n tarihten medet ummas\u0131 beyhudeydi.<\/p>\n

Ona g\u00f6re, kay\u0131npederi, bir z\u0131rdeliydi, o kadar!<\/p>\n

E\u011fitiminin, aile i\u00e7inde ciddi sorunlara ve kampla\u015fmalara yol a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark eden Ali, k\u0131sa zaman i\u00e7inde hem derslerinde ba\u015far\u0131 g\u00f6stererek annesini memnun etmeyi, hem de Kur’an kurslar\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 aksatmayarak halalar\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcne girmeyi ak\u0131l etti. Evin i\u00e7indeki sessiz f\u0131rt\u0131na diner gibi oldu. Kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 g\u00fc\u00e7 g\u00f6sterileri bitti.<\/p>\n

En az\u0131ndan bu konuyla ilgili olanlar\u0131. E\u011fitimin, ikiye b\u00f6l\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f ailedeki taraflardan birine benzemek demek oldu\u011funu ilk b\u00f6yle anlad\u0131 Ali. Her iki taraf da Ali, kendilerine benzesin istiyordu.<\/p>\n

Evin i\u00e7inde tam merkezde durdu\u011funun b\u00f6yle ayr\u0131m\u0131na vard\u0131. O, bir kav\u015fakta duruyor ve bir\u00e7ok \u015fey onun etraf\u0131nda d\u00f6n\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n

Bunu bilmenin ona bir t\u00fcr g\u00fc\u00e7 kazand\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etti. Aile i\u00e7indeki herkes, onu kazanmak, onu kendi yan\u0131na \u00e7ekmek, kendisine benzetmek istiyordu, bir tek dedesi hari\u00e7. Dedesinin umurunda bile de\u011fildi. O da en \u00e7ok dedesini seviyordu tabii.<\/p>\n

Evde, sokakta hemen herkesin Arap\u00e7a konu\u015ftu\u011fu bir \u015fehirde, Arap bir ailenin \u00e7ocu\u011fu olarak d\u00fcnyaya gelen Ali’nin okulda niye T\u00fcrk\u00e7e okumak, yazmak ve konu\u015fmak zorunda kal\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131t\u0131n\u0131, “Anadil” s\u00f6zc\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde sakl\u0131 buldu. Ali’nin annesi, Mardinlilerin deyi\u015fiyle “yabanc\u0131yd\u0131”, “T\u00fcrkt\u00fc” ve dolay\u0131s\u0131yla anadilinde konu\u015fmak ve yazmaktan uzun s\u00fcre bunu anlad\u0131 Ali.<\/p>\n

Halalar\u0131, onun b\u00fct\u00fcn sureleri ve ayetleri sular seller gibi ezberden okudu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fck\u00e7e, onunla gurur duyuyor, her durum i\u00e7in haz\u0131rda nemli nemli bekleyen g\u00f6zleri, b\u00f6yle zamanlarda daha da sulanarak, sevin\u00e7 ve gururlar\u0131n\u0131 a\u011flaya a\u011flaya belli ediyorlard\u0131. Ali, onlar\u0131n, sevindiklerinde de, \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcklerinde de, \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131klar\u0131nda da, heyecanland\u0131klar\u0131nda da a\u011flamalar\u0131na \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131r\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

Her \u00e7e\u015fit duyguyu, her seferinde bir tek bi\u00e7imde ifade ediyorlard\u0131: A\u011flayarak…
\nNe zaman kendi a\u011flamaya kalk\u0131\u015fsa, “Erkekler a\u011flamaz!” diye azarlan\u0131yordu. Erkeklere yasaklanan a\u011flaman\u0131n, halalar\u0131na bu kadar serbest olmas\u0131n\u0131 hi\u00e7 adil bulmuyordu.<\/p>\n

Ali, hastaland\u0131\u011f\u0131 zamanlarda g\u00f6rd\u00fc ki ev i\u00e7indeki h\u00fck\u00fcmranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcsb\u00fct\u00fcn peki\u015fiyor. Herkes \u00e7evresinde pervane oluyor. Bunun \u00fczerine can\u0131 istedik\u00e7e hastalanmaya ba\u015flayarak, ev i\u00e7indeki herkesin pe\u015finde nas\u0131l ko\u015fu\u015fturdu\u011funu g\u00f6rmek istedi. G\u00f6rd\u00fc de. Numaras\u0131n\u0131n anla\u015f\u0131lmaya ba\u015flamas\u0131 \u00fczerine daha ince teknikler geli\u015ftirdi. \u00d6rne\u011fin ate\u015finin y\u00fckselmesi i\u00e7in tebe\u015fir yutmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi. Okula gitmek istemedi\u011fi zamanlarda, tebe\u015fir yutarak ate\u015fini y\u00fckseltir, hayli “teatral” inleme ahlama numaralar\u0131yla yataklara d\u00fc\u015fer, gene ev i\u00e7inde ard\u0131 s\u0131ra ko\u015fu\u015fturan, hasta yata\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fucunda d\u00f6nenip duran insanlarla, sultan olman\u0131n keyfini s\u00fcrerdi.<\/p>\n

Ali’nin hastalanmalar\u0131, do\u011fumundaki karanl\u0131k i\u015faretleri hat\u0131ra getirdi\u011fi i\u00e7in, herkeste k\u00f6t\u00fc bir kehanetin ger\u00e7ekle\u015fmesine ili\u015fkin u\u011fursuz korkular diriliyor, yard\u0131m dileyen g\u00f6zlerle bo\u015flu\u011fa bakarcas\u0131na birbirlerine bak\u0131p duruyorlard\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ali, hasta rol\u00fc yapmay\u0131 seviyordu ayr\u0131ca. Asl\u0131nda rol yapmay\u0131 seviyordu. Rol yapmak, ger\u00e7ek hayattan \u00e7ok daha e\u011flenceliydi.<\/p>\n

Ayr\u0131ca hasta rol\u00fc yapmakta kendince incelikler buluyordu. \u0130nsan\u0131 \u00f6l\u00fcme, ilgi g\u00f6rmeye ve sinemaya yakla\u015ft\u0131ran bir \u015fey vard\u0131 hasta numaras\u0131 yapmakta. Hem b\u00f6ylelikle seyretti\u011fi filmleri ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f oluyordu. B\u00f6yle durumlarda en ciddi itirazlar bo\u011fucu bir ku\u015fkuculu\u011fa sahip olan annesinden geliyordu; Ali’nin okula gitmemek i\u00e7in numara yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u015f\u0131mart\u0131lmak istedi\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor, onu bencillik, sorumsuzluk, suistimalcilik ve benzeri \u015feylerle su\u00e7luyordu. \u0130\u015fin k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc, Ali’nin numarac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 konusunda \u00e7o\u011fu kez hakl\u0131 olmakla birlikte, bunu di\u011ferlerine anlatmakta g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fck \u00e7ekiyordu. Ali, annesinin kendi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden bu duruma d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc biliyor, annesinin hem hakl\u0131, hem \u00e7aresiz oldu\u011fu b\u00f6yle zamanlardaki yaln\u0131zla\u015fmas\u0131na ac\u0131yor, ama bir yandan bunu hak etti\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten kendini alam\u0131yordu. Annesinin hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kmalar\u0131nda bile \u00e7irkin bir yan vard\u0131. Ali’ye g\u00f6re annesi hakl\u0131 olmay\u0131 hak etmeyen bir kad\u0131nd\u0131.<\/p>\n

Zaman zaman sahiden hastaland\u0131\u011f\u0131 da oluyordu tabii. \u0130\u015fte bu ger\u00e7ek hastalanmalar\u0131ndan birinde, ger\u00e7ek say\u0131klamalar, ger\u00e7ek y\u00fcksek ate\u015f ve ger\u00e7ek bir hummayla g\u00fcnlerce bayg\u0131n yatt\u0131. Bazen bir an i\u00e7in g\u00f6zlerini a\u00e7\u0131yor, \u00e7evresindekileri tan\u0131r gibi oluyor, hasta oldu\u011funun bilincine var\u0131yor, dile gelebildi\u011fi birka\u00e7 saniyelik zamanlarda su ya da ayran istiyor, sonra yeniden bayg\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6m\u00fcl\u00fcyordu.<\/p>\n

O hummal\u0131 gecelerin birinde, birdenbire, g\u00f6zlerini derin ve sakin bir uykudan uyanm\u0131\u015f gibi, tazelenmi\u015f bak\u0131\u015flarla a\u00e7t\u0131. Gecenin hayli ileri bir saati olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Evdeki herkes uykudayd\u0131. Salondaki duvar saatinin tiktaklar\u0131ndan ba\u015fka hi\u00e7bir \u015fey duyulmuyordu.<\/p>\n

Uzak odalardaki halalar\u0131n\u0131n karanl\u0131k solumalar\u0131, horultular\u0131 bile belli belirsiz duyuluyordu. Yata\u011f\u0131nda do\u011fruldu. Aya\u011f\u0131na terliklerini ge\u00e7irdi. Odas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131; salonu, ayvan\u0131 ge\u00e7ip avluya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. Avludaki kuyunun ba\u015f\u0131na vard\u0131. Az y\u0131ld\u0131zl\u0131 bir geceydi. G\u00f6r\u00fcnen y\u0131ld\u0131zlar da usul f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131larla, say\u0131klar gibi k\u0131s\u0131k \u0131\u015f\u0131klarla yan\u0131p s\u00f6n\u00fcyorlard\u0131. Kuyunun a\u011fz\u0131na kapat\u0131lan tahta kapa\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerindeki ta\u015f\u0131 kald\u0131r\u0131p yere koyduktan sonra, tahta kapa\u011f\u0131 kulpundan tutup kald\u0131rd\u0131, usulca yere koydu. Birka\u00e7 y\u0131ld\u0131z ka\u00e7amak bak\u0131\u015flarla kuyunun dibindeki suyu \u0131\u015f\u0131t\u0131verdiler.<\/p>\n

Dizlerinin \u00fczerine \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcp, dirseklerini kuyunun a\u011fz\u0131na dayay\u0131p a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya, kuyunun i\u00e7ine e\u011fildi Ali; kuyuda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131na inand\u0131\u011f\u0131 Kuyu Cini’ne seslendi. Kendini k\u00f6t\u00fc durumda, yaln\u0131z, umutsuz, \u00fczg\u00fcn, hakk\u0131 yenmi\u015f, birine i\u00e7erlemi\u015f, arkada\u015f\u0131na k\u0131zm\u0131\u015f, d\u00fcnyaya k\u00fcsm\u00fc\u015f oldu\u011fu zamanlarda yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi kuyudaki cinle konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Seninle konu\u015fmaya geldim ey Kuyu Cini, dedi. Sesi nazl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu.<\/p>\n

Ka\u00e7 g\u00fcnd\u00fcr hasta yat\u0131yorum, biliyor musun? Konu\u015fam\u0131yorum, g\u00f6zlerimi bile a\u00e7am\u0131yorum, kelimeleri dilimden kopar\u0131p alm\u0131\u015flar sanki, niye ses vermiyorsun? Niye konu\u015fmuyorsun? N’olur konu\u015f benimle! Kimse konu\u015fmuyor benimle. Herkes kendiyle, kendi i\u00e7iyle konu\u015fuyor. Yaln\u0131z\u0131m, k\u00fcs\u00fcm, herkese k\u00fcs\u00fcm, hastay\u0131m, belki \u00f6lece\u011fim. Konu\u015f benimle! Burnunu \u00e7ekmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Dokunsalar a\u011flayacakt\u0131.<\/p>\n

Suyun y\u00fczeyi \u00fcrperir gibi dalgaland\u0131, ard\u0131ndan lacivert karas\u0131 dalgac\u0131klarla \u00e7alkaland\u0131. Ve sonra derinlerden, tok ve g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir ses duyuldu:<\/p>\n

Yan\u0131na geliyorum Ali, dedi Kuyu Cini. \u00c7ekil kuyunun a\u011fz\u0131ndan!<\/p>\n

Ali, do\u011frulup geriledi. G\u00f6zlerini b\u00fcy\u00fclenmi\u015f gibi kuyunun a\u011fz\u0131na dikerek beklemeye ba\u015flad\u0131. \u0130lkin sar\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6z\u00fckt\u00fc kuyunun a\u011fz\u0131nda, sonra ba\u015f\u0131 ve ard\u0131ndan birdenbire ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131verdi. Kuyudan \u00e7\u0131kan cinin \u00fczerinden s\u00fcz\u00fclen sular birka\u00e7 saniye i\u00e7inde kuruyuverdiler. Daha \u00f6nceleri f\u0131s\u0131lt\u0131larla gizli gizli konu\u015ftu\u011fu, kalbini a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131 Kuyu Cini’ni ilk kez kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda b\u00f6yle capcanl\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcyordu Ali. \u00c7ok heyecanland\u0131, kalbi h\u0131zl\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 \u00e7arpmaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u0130lk kez g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeyen bir \u015feyi g\u00f6r\u00fcyor, yoktan var olan biriyle konu\u015fuyordu.<\/p>\n

Kuyu Cini, Bu avlu senin i\u00e7in \u00e7ok so\u011fuk, hastalanabilirsin, dedi Ali’ye. Hadi yata\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6nelim. Seni yata\u011f\u0131na yat\u0131r\u0131p \u00fczerini \u00f6rteyim. Sonra da elini tutmak istedi. Ali ilkin \u00e7ekindiyse de, tutuklu\u011funu yenerek elini uzatt\u0131 Kuyu Cini’ne. Yumu\u015fak, g\u00fcvenli, s\u0131cakt\u0131 avucunun i\u00e7i. Hayat\u0131 yeniler gibi tutuyordu elini Ali’nin.<\/p>\n

Yeni uyanm\u0131\u015f bir r\u00fczgar gibi tutuyordu. Usul ve k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck ad\u0131mlarla, avluyu, ayvan\u0131, salonu ge\u00e7erek Ali’nin odas\u0131na geldiler. Ali’yi yata\u011f\u0131na yat\u0131rd\u0131. \u00dczerini \u00f6rtmeden \u00f6nce, koynundan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir incir yapra\u011f\u0131na, gene koynundan \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131\u011f\u0131 divit bir kalemle ince, s\u00fcl\u00fcsl\u00fc bir yaz\u0131yla dualar yazd\u0131. Yapra\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerinde Ali’nin \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi Arap\u00e7a yaz\u0131lar ve b\u00fcy\u00fcler vard\u0131 \u015fimdi. Mahir elleri vard\u0131 Kuyu Cini’nin, ince uzun parmaklar\u0131 vard\u0131, bile\u011fi k\u0131vrakt\u0131. Ali, b\u00fcy\u00fclenmi\u015f g\u00f6zlerle izliyordu onu. \u00dczerindeki yaz\u0131lar\u0131 incitmekten \u00e7ekinircesine yapra\u011f\u0131 \u00fcfleyerek g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne yerle\u015ftirdi Ali’nin.<\/p>\n

Il\u0131k, sa\u011falt\u0131c\u0131 bir solu\u011fun tenini yumu\u015fatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetti Ali, \u0131hlamur gibi koktu g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fc. G\u00fcz bah\u00e7elerinin s\u00fckun ve huzurunu duydu i\u00e7inde. Derin derin i\u00e7 ge\u00e7irdi.<\/p>\n

Yapra\u011f\u0131, Ali’nin g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne yerle\u015ftirirken, dedi ki: Bu kuyunun ciniyim ben, seninle uzaktan akraba oluyoruz, seni koruyorum, seni sakl\u0131yorum, kalbinin derinliklerinde iyi bir \u00e7ocuksun, i\u00e7inde birka\u00e7 ki\u015fi birden ya\u015f\u0131yor, herkesin i\u00e7inde birka\u00e7 ki\u015fi birden ya\u015famaz. D\u00fcnyada san\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan \u00e7ok daha fazla insan var, ama bedenler az; baz\u0131 bedenlerde birka\u00e7 ki\u015fi birden oturuyor. Kendini bu yapra\u011fa b\u0131rak, bu yapra\u011f\u0131n senin teninde ya\u015famas\u0131na; bu yaprak g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne, tenine, oradan g\u00f6vdene ve ruhuna yay\u0131lacak, sende biriken b\u00fct\u00fcn hastal\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc de\u011fi\u015ftirecek, sabah\u0131na hi\u00e7bir \u015feyin kalmayacak, taptaze g\u00f6zlerle a\u00e7acaks\u0131n g\u00f6zlerini, y\u0131kanm\u0131\u015f gibi, uzun ve dinlendirici bir uykudan uyanm\u0131\u015f gibi. Haydi \u015fimdi yum g\u00f6zlerini, b\u0131rak kendini yapra\u011f\u0131n solumas\u0131na, b\u0131rak yaprak teninde k\u0131m\u0131ldas\u0131n; ruhunu, solu\u011funu, g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc versin sana.<\/p>\n

Ali sabah\u0131na \u00f6yle uyand\u0131, taptaze g\u00f6zlerle ve uzun ve dinlendirici bir uykudan uyanm\u0131\u015f gibi. Gece neler oldu\u011funu birden an\u0131msayamad\u0131, ama bir \u015feyler olmu\u015ftu, biri yeni uyand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir r\u00fczgar gibi elinden tutmu\u015ftu, birka\u00e7 saniye sonra da tatl\u0131 bir heyecanla birlikte Kuyu Cini’nin an\u0131s\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcverdi g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcne.<\/p>\n

R\u00fcya g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f olmal\u0131yd\u0131. Onun s\u00f6ylediklerini b\u00f6l\u00fck p\u00f6r\u00e7\u00fck an\u0131msamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kuyudan \u00e7\u0131kan cini, g\u00f6zlerinin \u00f6n\u00fcne getirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131, daha \u00e7ok masal filmlerinde seyretti\u011fi, “Ali Baba ve K\u0131rk Haramiler” gibi filmlerde seyretti\u011fi cinlere benziyordu. Ba\u015f\u0131nda kocaman, g\u00f6steri\u015fli bir sar\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131, alacal\u0131 renkler ta\u015f\u0131yan simli yele\u011finin aras\u0131ndan k\u0131ll\u0131 ve esmer g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcyordu. Uzun ve geni\u015f dalgal\u0131 bir \u015falvar vard\u0131 alt\u0131nda; beline k\u0131z\u0131l, parlak bir atlastan kal\u0131n bir ku\u015fak dolam\u0131\u015ft\u0131; sevimli ve \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fcyd\u00fc. Birdenbire art\u0131k iyile\u015fti\u011fini hat\u0131rlad\u0131, yata\u011f\u0131ndan f\u0131rlay\u0131p evdekilere iyile\u015fti\u011fini haber vermeye ve g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc r\u00fcyay\u0131 anlatmaya karar verdi.<\/p>\n

Tam yerinden do\u011frulup \u00fczerindeki yorgan\u0131 s\u0131y\u0131racakken, g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde bir h\u0131\u015f\u0131lt\u0131 duydu. Bir \u015fey k\u0131m\u0131ldar gibi olmu\u015ftu. Elini g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne soktu; pijamas\u0131n\u0131n ve atletinin alt\u0131nda, kal\u0131n, etli, geni\u015f bir incir yapra\u011f\u0131 duruyordu. Yapra\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p yak\u0131ndan bakt\u0131. S\u0131caktan solmu\u015ftu, \u015fimdiden kurumaya y\u00fcztutmu\u015f damarlar\u0131n\u0131n aras\u0131nda, erimi\u015f bir yaz\u0131n\u0131n, g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez harflerin, belli belirsiz g\u00f6lgeleri se\u00e7iliyordu yaln\u0131zca. Yapra\u011fa derinli\u011fini veren \u015feydi bu. Elinde yaprakla kalakald\u0131. G\u00f6zleri hayretle b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fc. O anda hi\u00e7 kimseye, hi\u00e7bir \u015fey s\u00f6ylememesi gerekti\u011fini anlad\u0131.<\/p>\n

Avluya \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, Ali’nin sark\u0131p d\u00fc\u015fmesinden korktuklar\u0131 i\u00e7in, kuyunun a\u011fz\u0131ndaki tahta kapa\u011f\u0131n \u00fczerine konmu\u015f olan a\u011f\u0131r ta\u015f\u0131n yerinde durdu\u011funu g\u00f6rd\u00fc.<\/p>\n

R\u00fcya sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 ger\u00e7ekle, ger\u00e7ek sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 r\u00fcya aras\u0131nda kalakalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131.
\nG\u00f6zle g\u00f6r\u00fclmez r\u00fcyalar olmal\u0131 bunlar, dedi.
\nBelki de benim de\u011fil, yapra\u011f\u0131n r\u00fcyas\u0131yd\u0131 bu.
\nR\u00fcya da, yaprak da ayn\u0131 d\u00fcnya i\u00e7inde ya\u015fayabiliyorlard\u0131 demek.
\nG\u00f6zlerimiz b\u00fct\u00fcn r\u00fcyalar\u0131 birden g\u00f6remiyordu.
\nD\u00fcn gece ba\u015f\u0131na gelenler, ailesinde hi\u00e7 kimsenin kabul etmeyece\u011fi bir \u015feydi. Hele annesinin…<\/p>\n

Ali kabul etti ve susmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

\u00dc\u00e7 Aynal\u0131 K\u0131rk Oda | Gece Elbisesi – Karanl\u0131k \u0130\u015faretler – Murathan Mungan<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kesesi y\u0131rt\u0131lmadan, torba i\u00e7inde, \u00fcstelik kordonu boynuna dolanm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, yar\u0131 bo\u011fulmu\u015f bir durumda do\u011fmu\u015f Ali. Ebe \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011fa kesesini y\u0131rtm\u0131\u015f, suyunu ak\u0131tm\u0131\u015f, bakm\u0131\u015f onunla da bitmiyor, kordon boynuna s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 dolanm\u0131\u015f, bo\u011fulmak \u00fczere, bu kez de daha y\u0131rt\u0131c\u0131 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klarla kordonu kopar\u0131p alm\u0131\u015f boynundan; ebenin bu canh\u0131ra\u015f \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 zaten g\u00fc\u00e7 ko\u015fullarda, \u00e7ok zor ve \u00fcstelik ilk […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[114],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-7148","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-turkiye-den-oykuler"},"yoast_head":"\nKaranl\u0131k \u0130\u015faretler | \u00dc\u00e7 Aynal\u0131 K\u0131rk Oda - Murathan Mungan - narteks.net<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/narteks.net\/index.php\/2018\/08\/17\/karanlik-isaretler-uc-aynali-kirk-oda-murathan-mungan\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Karanl\u0131k \u0130\u015faretler | \u00dc\u00e7 Aynal\u0131 K\u0131rk Oda - Murathan Mungan\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Kesesi y\u0131rt\u0131lmadan, torba i\u00e7inde, \u00fcstelik kordonu boynuna dolanm\u0131\u015f oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in, yar\u0131 bo\u011fulmu\u015f bir durumda do\u011fmu\u015f Ali. 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